You Can Have Your Matzoh Balls, Semite.

I'll Keep My Onion Broth, Thank You Very Much

Honestly the title pretty much speaks for itself on this one.  I know matzoh balls are so tasty and delicious, so light and yet so heavy, so simple yet so profound.  I know, because I've had them before.  And they weren't even GOOD matzoh balls.  But i loved them.  Like CRAZY loved them.  Like "I love mein fuhrer" kind of loved them. But that's still no reason to go all Zion on me!  I mean, the fatherland's cooking ain't so bad!  We've got... onion broth, and... those shitty German cookies my mom makes every Christmas despite the fact that they totally suck ass. Okay, so cooking's not our forte.  But just because matzoh balls are so good doesn't redeem the semitic race, okay!  I mean, there are plenty or other great reasons to hate you guys, like... well, I guess the big nose thing doesn't really work anymore... but then there's all the black magic you guys are always performing left and right.  And then there's Rob Reiner... "North"?!  What the fuck was he thinking? Who am I kidding, I liked North.  And I like the Daily Show with Jon Stewart.  The biting wit and political satire of his show are a refreshing breeze of quality in a sea of mediocrity.  And Sarah Silverman is hot. What I'm really saying is matzoh ball soup, and Jon Stewart, and bagels... makes me wish i didn't hate Jews so much.

Sincerely,
Martin Bormann

P.S.  BUT I STILL HELLA DO [HATE JEWS]!