"SELF-ACTUALIZATION: WHY LESBIANS ARE HOT"

It has recently come to my attention that many straight women do not understand why the concept of lesbian intercourse is arousing to straight men.  In short, this is because women are inherently stupid*-but there are other reasons for this confusion.  I must, of course, begin at the beginning.  In the vast majority of situations in which men are able to do the kissy-kissy with members of the opposite sex, a number of things have to occur.  First of all, women usually require men to 'work for' getting what they want.  We have to jump over hurdles judging our personality, versatility, fiscal security, and hand-to-hand combat skills to prove ourselves as viable suitors.  On the other hand, if an attractive woman just talks to a man, this is all the proof he needs.  Secondly, in most sexual situations, women tend to take a fairly restrained, passive approach, letting the man initiate; when they DO initiate, it is a 'treat,' an exception to the rule of heterosexual** intercourse.  And this is my main point-that women are rarely self-actualized.

During lesbian intercourse, however, women MUST be self-actualized for sex to even occur.  Seeing any woman taking charge, initiating sex is an improbability.  Seeing two women initiate at the same time is a rarity.  And seeing two extremely attractive women with tight leather outfits initiating all over each other is next to impossible.  And thus, it is arousing.  Not to mention the inherent attractiveness of someone taking part in an act which is considered wrong, or at least strange, by most of society. So there you have it-women don't usually initiate, and when they are self-actualized, it is arousing-and seeing very attractive, very self-actualized women doing something taboo is downright bone-errific.  Now, I must go... take a nap...  goodbye.

Tom Kruller

*-Please excuse this statement.  It is what the Greeks call 'humor'-I do not want women to dislike me, for that would prevent me from being able to put my pee-pee in their yoo-hoo.

**-Why do I keep stressing the point that these problems occur only in heterosexual situations? Because gay men and lesbians live in a fantasy land in which there are  never any disagreements about how to have sex.  Never.  Dude.