Black Panthers Merge with Ku Klux Klan

Detroit, MI

Two very prominent social interest groups merged Tuesday in what has been called "the marriage of the century" when the former Black Panthers (recently dubbed the New Black Panther Party) and the Ku Klux Klan became one ; "the Klanthers".  Critics are skeptical, but thus far it has been a very peaceful merger.  It seems the two racial-pride groups have settled their differences nonviolently. 

"We have really been going at this the wrong way from the getgo." said prominent Klansman Si Olafson.  "We really got mixed up there for a while, and strayed from the path our (respective) leaders intended for us to go with this whole thing."

It seems these two have clashed ever since each began.  The Ku Klux Klan, or KKK, began
shortly after the Civil War by a war-embittered Nathan Bedford Forest.  Many decades later in October of 1966, Bobby Seale and Huey P. Newton began the Black Panthers and a no tolerance/violence policy, greatly opposing the passive-unity philosophies of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Ever since the Panthers formation, it seems these two have been at each other's throats.  "Yeah, I wuh haffta say that we pretty much hate dem cracka azz mofos.  But you know, I think Issa pretty good idea tho   You know, like ahm sayin like, you know whutevuh. said one Klanther.

"Well, while I must admit that we have entirely different goals, we are basically the same in ideology.  The only real difference is that they wish to stomp the black man down, and we wish to elevate him to new heights." says co-founder Nayabme Undul. 

Thisgreat merger leaves little room for other pride groups.  "We don't expect that this thing will be all easy." commented Klanther Billy Ray Bobby John Bo Henry McCoy.  "But I can tell you one thing, we
ain't gonna have no mercy on them dirty Eskimos!" 

Apparently the new "Mulatto-Power" group has new plans for the future of racism.

"We gonna crush them Mexicans, them Injins, and most of all them dirty Eskimos,"  To the knowledge of this newspaper, this is the first Anti-Inuit campaign in history. 

"This unorthodox policy will no doubt cause a large amount of civil division.  These divisive measures will likely cause a large recession in the domestic sales of Whale bi-products and igloo sales due to labor strikes on the behalf of the Inuits." said Dr Rufus Buchannon, Professor of Sociology at Templeton Universtiy.