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| Title: Voyager Q Synopses Author: Christine Contact: [email protected] Series: VOY Part: 1/1 Rating: [PG13] Codes: J,Q Archive: ASCEML and my website only. All others please ask first. Disclaimer: Paramount owns everything Trek. I own everything and everyone I made up. <g> Am I making money from this? What the hell are you smoking?! Feedback: Please do. Author's Note: I originally wrote these synopses for someone on PiQuante and thought I'd share them with you guys. This is my take on the episodes. Summary: Brief synopses about Death Wish and The Q and The Grey. Death Wish- Voyager sailing along. Ooo, they see a cool looking comet! Janeway gets this far off look in her eyes and tells her crew to scan the comet for any trace minerals they may need. Kim does it. They find something weird inside the comet...big surprise. Janeway gives her version of The Rock's 'people's eyebrow' and says to beam a sample of the whatever on board. In the transporter room, we see them doing their beaming thing. As the blue particles change, we see an old fart in a StarFleet Captain's uniform, look around in awe. The peeps in the transporter room have their eyebrows riding up in their hairlines. The old dude looks around and very shyly says, "Hello, I'm Q." Well, next thing we know it's pandemonium in the transporter room. Tuvok...who was in there as security man...tells Janeway to get her rear in gear and meet him down in the transporter room. She skips down the corridor till she walks in and does her, "Q!" voice. Q(2) looks confused about everyone yelling at him and telling him he a bad widdle boy. He tells them thats the other Q and he was stuck in that comet for...um?...I think 3 or 4 hundred years. He does his little finger trick and they all end up in the mess hall. Q(2) says he got put in there cause he wanted to die and the other Q was totally pissed on the idea so locked him up so he wouldn't try to off himself. Q(2) tries to kill himself with a wave of his hands, but instead of him dying, all the males on board disappear. Q suddenly appears and asks Janeway, "Say? Is this the ship of the Valkire or have you human women finally done away with your men?" Janeway glares at the Qs with her death ray eyes and tells them to bring her men back. Q brings the studs back and they all look around dazed and confused. Q then tells Q(2) he has to go back into the comet which is Q proof, but Q(2) pitches a fit and tells him he don't wanna. So for about ten minutes him and Q play tag around the galaxy and time. The ship goes back to one billion B.C. and Q finds them. They end up as an ornament on a Christmas tree and Q finds them. Finally they stop playing tag and Janeway is so mad smoke is coming from her ears. Q(2) says he wants to die cause he's been there, done that and got the T-shirt many times and is bored. Q tells him sorry bub can't let ya do that. Q(2) asks for protection from the Q peeps and Janeway grants it. Q's pissed, but says okies. Janeway says that if the Q are mad about Q(2) wanting to kick the bucket...the rabbit kicked the bucket, the rabbit kicked the bucket...oops, sorry. Anyway, Janeway says she'll hold a hearing about whether or not Q(2) should die and Q agrees, of course he tries his damnest to make Janeway forget about the hearing to no avail. They hold the hearing with Q as the prosecutor and Tuvok as the Defendant's (Q(2)) lawyer. Q tells them without Q(2) some things...good things...never would have happened. He brings in Riker, some renassance guy and some hippie guy in as witnesses. He tells them that these guys were helped by Q(2). After a bit of bickering, the two Qs decide to show Janeway and Tuvok the Q continuum. They're psyched about it and agree. The two Qs take them to the continuum only to find out it looks like a old run down gas station. Q(2) goes into his little speach about how life is boring and stuff. Janeway agrees that it is boring for a Q and says Q(2) can die if he wants. Q turns Q(2) into a human and Q(2) is happy. Then suddenly, Janeway gets a call from sickbay about Q(2) now called Quinn, that he's dying of an untreatable poision. Janeway wonders how he got hold of the lethal stuff and Q pops in and tells them he gave it to him. So Quinn dies and Q disappears. The Q and The Grey- Voyager's sailing along and stop to witness a supernova go boom. Everyone is in awe and grins a sappy grin. Suddenly, a whole shit load of super novas go off and the crew can't believe it's happening since they only occur once in a blue moon. Janeway tells them to investigate them and runs off to her quarters to get some shut eye, when she notices that her standard boring starfleet issue bed has been replaced by a heart shaped bed. She looks around and finds her quarters to look like a honeymoon suite. She gets spooked and summons Security saying, "Janeway to Security. Intruder alert." Wellll, Q shows up in a sexy robe...drool...and tells Janeway that no one can hear them. He then starts putting the moves on Janeway, telling her he wants her to have his baby. Her mouth drops open like a fish's. For about ten minutes they get into a heated discussion about why the Captain ain't gonna let Q into her panties...oo,oo I wanna do it! Can I!?...um...hehehehe. Anyway, he tells her he needs to mate with a human to bring fresh blood into the stale continuum. He tells her that the Q are at war with each other and the super novas are really Q fire. Q does his damnest to get Janeway to do the horizontal cha cha with him, but she tells him hell no! Then Suzy Q decides to drop by, saying she's Q's girlfriend. She gets all jealous of Janeway and can't believe Q would want to do her. Q gives Suzy Q the evil eye and takes Janeway with him to the continuum where they are in the middle of a civil war. Complete with Union and Confederate clothes. Q tells Janeway about the war and how it started...it was Quinn's fault cause he killed himself...and Janeway can't believe what she's hearing. Suddenly, there's gun fire in the house Q and Janeway are in and Q gets shot in the arm and bleeds. J aneway's surprised about this but Q tells her that the weapons are made to hurt and/or kill fellow Qs. Back on Voyager, Suzy Q and the others are knocked to their feet when one of the super novas explodes near by. Suzy Q gets up and has a big gash on her forehead. Chakotay...drool, lick, drool...tells Suzy Q to get them out of there. She laughs, tells him to bugger off and tries to snap her way off the ship only to find that her powers are gone. The crew find out what's happening and tries to get to the continuum, but without Suzy Q's powers, they can't. Then Chakotay asks, "There's gotta be another way to get into the continuum, besides <snap> snapping your fingers?" Suzy Q glares at him and then tells them of a way they can get inside. They need to go into one of the super novas and the crew looks at her like she flipped her lid. She tells them some technobabble about how to do it, they agree and are on their way. Back at Q central, Janeway has dragged an unconscious Q from the burning house and takes him to one of his camps. Yup just like in the real civil war. She mends his wounds as best as she can and talks to Q about the whole thing. He still tries to talk her into mating with him and she still tells him, no way bub. She then says why he doesn't just mate with his girlfriend and have a Q that way and he tells her the Q never needed to have sex and procreate. Uh huh, sure, whatever. Janeway is tired of the fighting and fueding and goes over to the 'enemy' camp to put a stop to the war. The Q laugh at her and take her and Q prisoner and tells them they're gonna be executed by a firing squad...oops! Voyager finally makes it into the continuum and beams down to wherever, dressed as civil war soldiers to find their captain. Meanwhile, Janeway and Q are tied to posts to await their execution. As they get ready to be fired upon, the Voyager crew stop the Q peeps from firing and untie Q and Janeway. Janeway tells Q to go and mate with Suzy Q, he doesn't quite know what to do. He discusses it with the female Q and they mate by touching fingers...yes they act like they are orgasming. Afterwards, he asks, "I was good, wasn't I?" Wellll, the war is over for now and Janeway and her crew are back in normal space sailing through as usual, when Q drops by with a baby Q in his lap...aw! He tells her she's his kid's godmother and she tells him he's a cutie...the baby not Q. He then disappears and she's wondering what kind of trouble the little Q will get into...like father like son. Yes, I made it funny on purpose. :-P Christine who knows all Q episodes by heart. :-D |
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