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| Title: Nine and a Half Inches Author: Christine Contact: [email protected] Series: VOY Part: 1/1 Rating: [PG13] Codes: C/P Archive: ASCEML, CPSG, ATPS and my website only. All others please ask first. Disclaimer: Paramount owns everything Trek. I own everything and everyone I made up. <g> Am I making money from this? What the hell are you smoking?! Feedback: Yes, please. Author's Note: This is in response to Haggis' 9 1/2 inch challenge on ATPS. So it's all her fault. :-D By the way, there's no real plot to this so don't look for one or you may hurt yourself in the process. Tom made his way down the corridor towards the mess hall. He was going there to meet Harry for lunch. As he walked through the doors, he made his way over to the counter and grabbed a plate of something blue. Seeing Harry already seated at a table, Tom grabbed his tray and headed over towards his friend. He placed his tray down onto the table before taking a seat. "Hey, Harry. So what's the verdict on today's menu?" Harry looked over at Tom, "It's blue and tastes like chicken," he said with a grin. "Uh, so it's actually edible today?" Tom asked as he pierced his fork into one of the blue pieces and slowly brought it to his mouth. //He's right. It does taste like chicken.// "So, how are you and Chakotay doing?" Harry asked as he took another bite of his food. Tom finished chewing, swallowed and turned to his friend, "We're doing pretty good, actually. Chakotay finally showed me his nine and a half inch sausage this morning before we left for duty." "Did he let you have a piece?" Harry asked as he took a final bite of his food, grabbed his cup and took a swallow. "Yup. Tasted pretty good too. Maybe I could ask him to let you try it for yourself," Tom replied as he wiped his mouth off with a napkin. "I'll have to take you up on that later. Right now, I'm needed back on the bridge. See you later, Tom," Harry said as he got up from the table, grabbed his tray, walked over to the replicator to recycle it and walked out the doors. As Harry was walking out, B'Elanna walked in. Not feeling very hungry, she looked around the mess hall and saw Tom sitting by himself. She walked over to him and sat down at the table across from him. "Hey, Tom. How ya doing?" Tom looked up from his meal, "Hello, B'Elanna. I'm doing fine. How's it going down in engineering?" He asked, putting his fork down onto his plate and sat back in his chair to let his meal settle. "Fine. Carey's being a pain in the ass as usual, but nothing I can't handle. So, what did you and Chakotay talk about yesterday?" She asked him. She had seen Chakotay and Tom walk into Chakotay's office the day before and was dying to know what that had been all about. Especially since Chakotay had walked in in a foul mood and twenty minutes later, walked out looking like he had been told wonderful news. Tom smiled brightly, "He had a nine and a half inch long walking stick he wanted to show me. He wanted my opinion on it before he showed it to the rest of the crew and I told him it was nice looking." B'Elanna cocked her head to the side, "Uh, I see. Why'd it take almost twenty minutes to tell him this?" She asked, not quite believing Tom, but not disbelieving him either. "Well, you know the Commander. He's a proud man and wanted to make sure it was worth the effort to play show and tell with it," Tom replied with a smile. "I'll be right back. I actually enjoyed Neelix's latest creation and I'm going to go back for some more." B'Elanna got up with Tom, "Actually, I have to get going. We're working on a new EPS conduit and I want to be there if anything goes wrong. I'll see you later." With that, she left the mess hall. Tom walked back over to the food counter, bringing his plate along, "Hey, Neelix. Let me have another helping of the blue chicken stuff, please." Beaming with pride, Neelix scooped up more of the blue concoction and dumped it onto Tom's plate. "Aw, Lieutenant. I'm glad to see you're enjoying my newest recipe," Neelix said with a smile. Tom grinned, "Very much so. I think you may be onto something here, Neelix." //Too bad most of your meals aren't as appetizing as this one,// Tom mused to himself. "Well, I'm glad you enjoy it so. By the way, how are you and the Commander getting along?" Neelix asked as he stirred the blue chicken a bit. Tom looked up at Neelix, "We're doing pretty well, actually. I finally got to see his nine and a half inch long stuffed snake this afternoon before lunch," he replied as he picked up his tray. "I'm glad to hear that, Tom. Do you think he'll let me see it too?" Tom thought about this for a moment, "I don't see why not. I'll be sure to ask him about it later, okay?" "Thanks, Tom. Enjoy your lunch," Neelix replied with a smile. Tom smiled and walked back over to the table he was sitting at earlier. As Tom sat down, he noticed Chakotay walking into the mess hall. Seeing Tom, Chakotay walked over to his table and sat down in one of the chairs. "Hello, babe." "Hey. Finally got off of duty?" Tom asked with a slight grin. "Yeah, it felt like forever though. So, how was your day?" Chakotay asked, leaning in close to Tom so he didn't have to talk over the buzz of voices that was rising in volume. "Well, I did what you asked me to," Tom began. Raising an eyebrow, "Oh? How'd it go?" Chakotay asked as he grabbed a piece of the blue meat with his fingers and popped it into his mouth. "Hey, this is good. It tastes sort of like chicken." "It does, doesn't it? This is my second helping of the stuff. Anyway, everyone I've talked to said they love to see it." "Really? How'd you get them to agree to it?" Chakotay asked, amazed there were so many people who actually wanted to see it. Tom slyly grinned as he whispered to Chakotay, "It was easy. I lied to everyone." "Tom! Why the hell did you do that for?" Chakotay angrily asked. Tom loudly laughed as he replied, "Chakotay, I had to lie. There was no way in hell I was going to ask them if they wanted to see your dick up close and personal." The End |
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