| Title: Horny as Hell Author: Christine Contact: [email protected] Series: VOY Part: 1/1 Rating: [R] Codes: J Archive: ASCEML and my website only. All others please ask first. Disclaimer: Paramount owns everything Trek. I own everything and everyone I made up. <g> Am I making money from this? What the hell are you smoking?! Feedback: Yes, please. Author's Note: Umm? OK this is just something silly that came to me one night. It's a parody so of course the actual characters wouldn't do this. Please let me know how you liked it or didn't. Oh, almost forgot, I know it's stupid, but hey, so what? Summary: Janeway tries to get her some. "Please?" Shaking his head, "No. You had your chance back on New Earth," Chakotay said crossing his arms. "Oh, come on! I was being stupid at the time," Janeway whined. She began to hop around, as if doing the pee pee dance, "Please Chakotay, I'm horny!" Chakotay, backing away from the door to his quarters, "Sorry, can't help you." He turned around and walked away from the door. They closed with a swoosh sound. Janeway swore she heard the door being locked. "*Damn!*" She cursed, walking away in a huff. *~*~*~ Janeway headed towards her quarters, when a thought hit her like a phaser blast, //Ensign Kim!// With that, she all but ran to the nearest turbolift, "Deck 3!" she bellowed. The 'lift took her to her destination. She skipped merrily down the hall. She stopped outside of the unknowing Ensign's quarters. She reached up and hit the chime. "Enter." Came the reply. Kathryn walked in. Harry, seeing the Captain standing in front of him, popped to attention. "At ease," came the Captain's reply. "Captain, what can I do for you?" Kim asked. Janeway grinned like a Cheshire cat, "Harry, I'll cut to the chase. I'm horny," Janeway said, advancing on the helpless Ensign. Clearing his throat nervously, "S-sorry Captain, but I can't help you there." Janeway stopped her advancing and stared at Kim, "Why the hell not?" Seeing his captain wasn't taking no for an answer he replied, "Well for one thing, you're my commanding officer. Second, you're old enough to be my mother." //Ooops!// Kim thought. Janeway was pissed now. Before she could smash his face in for that comment, "Computer! Emergency beam-out!" With this, Harry disappeared. "*Shit!*" Janeway cursed to herself. Giving up her quest for some nooky, she stalked out of the poor Ensign's quarters. She headed towards the turbolift. She told it to take her to her quarters. She stepped out and walked down the corridor, until she got to her destination. ~*~*~*~* Janeway began to undress for bed. She hopped in bed, angry that this would be another night of no bone jumping for the horny captain. Just than another thought hit her, //Q!// As much as it pained her, she was desperate. She looked skywards, "Q!" "You bellowed?" Q appeared. Janeway bolted from the bed and latched onto Q. Eyes as big as saucers, "Woman, what the hell are you doing?" "Q," she began still rubbing herself over Q. "I'm horny as all hell and you finally get to take me with your manly organ," as she said this she placed her hand on his groin. Q, amused to see Captain Kathy in this state, "Sorry Kathy, you had your chance. I'm married now. Tootles," he said wiggling his fingers and disappearing. "*Fuck!*" she yelled. //Damn another night of self satisfaction,// she thought to herself, as she walked back into the bedroom, sat down on the bed and reached into her night stand. She pulled out her love stick and turned it on. Nothing. She shook it some. Still nothing. "*God damnit!*" All throughout the ship were noises of crewmembers having wild animal sex, except for a certain horny Captain who missed her chance. The End |
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