| Title: Coffee Author: Christine Contact: [email protected] Series: VOY Part: 1/1 Rating: [PG13] Codes: J Archive: ASCEML and my website only. All others please ask first. Disclaimer: Paramount owns everything Trek. I own everything and everyone I made up. <g> Am I making money from this? What the hell are you smoking?! Feedback: Yes, please. Author's Note: Umm? OK this is just something silly that came to me one night. It's a parody so of course the actual characters wouldn't do this. Please let me know how you like it or didn't. Summary: Janeway goes berserk. "*What!?*" Neelix backed away, "I said we are completely out of coffee." Janeway gave him a dirty look, "Did you check the hydroponics bay?" "First place I checked." Janeway started advancing on Neelix, "How 'bout cargo bay one?" The quivering Talaxian continued backing away until be bumped into the counter behind him, "Checked there also. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zero," seeing Janeway was getting more pissed, "No-not a dr-drop anywhere." Just then, B'Elanna Torres piped in, "We can't even get the replicators to produce any." At this, Janeway lost it, "Grrrrrrr!" She went completely nuts. She started throwing dishes everywhere. Crewmen were ducking from the projectiles of cooking utensils. Suddenly, Q flashed in. Everyone cheered, hoping he'd be able to help. "What's this? Captain Kathy having caffine withdraws?" Q asked being a smart ass as usual. Out of no where, Janeway attacked Q. "Eep!" Q yelped, having never felt Janeway's wrath. "*Coffee!*" She growled still lying on Q. "Coming right up!" Q wheezed from under the really pissed Captain. In a flash, there were dozens of bags of coffee stacked all over the mess hall. Janeway looked up, "Coffee!" She got off of Q and dove for the bags, chanting 'coffee, coffee' over and over again. Forgeting why he came to Voyager in the first place, "Crazy bitch!" he yelled before disappearing. B'Elanna walked over to Neelix, seeing he had wet himself, she whispered, "Next time, make sure you let us know before you tell the Captain." Neelix at a loss for words just nodded his head. Everyone went back to what they had been doing before this whole mess started and Janeway continued to scarf down the coffee beans. The End |
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