ARTICLE #2
The Advice /
Chris Says-What-He-Wants-to Column
Well, Star-reading comrades, I have received one mail in question since I last wrote to you. Some may see this is as puny; I see it as momentum building, a force that is snowballing, an untapped source of potential energy converting to kinetic energy before our very eyes. So lets get right down to business.
This is the abbreviated form of the question because it is long and I have much to say:
Dear Chris,
How do you feel about Christmas songs being sung before Christmas season?
- Kris Kringle
To be honest, Mr. Kringle, I do not enjoy Christmas songs or carols to be sung before December, with the minor exception of Jingle Bells because Jingle Bells happens to be the only song I can play on a guitar. I have many reasons for this.
To begin, it is unnecessary to rant and rave about a season when it is not yet upon us. I would be ridiculed for hanging up Easter eggs around a tree during Christmas. This is because Christmas is not the same season as Easter, and their celebratory rituals must be restricted to their respective seasons.
Furthermore, the joy of Christmas cannot be exclaimed all year round because it would lose its special meaning. It would become unordinary. Mundane. Trivial.
Lastly, there are a substantial number of songs that are not sung often. Why? Because people are all singing CHRISTMAS songs when it is not even Christmas. That’s why.
Now, Mr. Kringle, that the Christmas flavor is upon us, seasonal Christmas songs are welcome in my heart. Carol of the Bells should be blasted from the Fancher Building as far as I am concerned. But lets not start counting down to the New Year…
That is all for the Christmas song part of this paper’s column, but there is another subject that reaches into the depths of my heart. For with Christmas time comes finals time, or what is commonly referred to in my home as “Anti-Joy Week.”
Here are a few tips to help Anti-Joy week be as painless as possible for you. 1). Find a couch to study on. When you fall asleep, this way it will be comfortable, and there will be no neck cramps. 2.) Buy a small water pistol, to keep filled near your head. When someone comes into your study area and asks “How’s the studying coming?” you can easily reply with a short liquid burst to the left elbow. They will take the hint. 3.) Eat. A lot. 4.) Get a study buddy. Because when you stop studying, you know you want someone else to bring down with you.
These few morsels of advice should make Anti-Joy week a beautiful time of year, just like Christmas.
We as college students (and perhaps faculty, if any faculty actually read this column) know that December weeks are tough times. One just has to buckle down and kick some school work in the backside. And that’s what it is really all about.
This issue’s key words are mundane, anti-joy, and again cpo 17 because many of you said “Oh yes Chris, I will write you a letter,” but oh wait, I only got one. So here is one more chance to make up for it.
Merry Christmas from me to you, and enjoy the snow and songs and the birth of Jesus and whatever else you like about this season.
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CREATED BY CHRIS AUSTIN WITH WORD AND PAINT. ALL RIGHTS
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