I
am going to write a book of my life and make lots of money. Here is a preview:
CHAPTER
1 - CHRIS AUSTIN’S LIFE
I was born. Then I forgot lots of stuff until I made my first owl out of colored paper in preschool. It was a lovely owl and many people liked it, including my mother. Then I grew up more and forgot many things. Soon I would be in kindergarten, where I did not know right from wrong. I threw a snowball at a girl's face at the bus stop. Punishment ensued. Stay tuned for chapter 2.
CHAPTER
2 - CHRIS AUSTIN'S LIFE
For
the most part, kindergarten was cool. I
mean, we played games and had fun times.
One time though, I was bad in class for some reason, and my name went up
on the board with like 3 checks after it - this was not a good sign. Lucky for me, I don't remember what my
punishment was. I had a great teacher, his
name was Mr. Root. His best trick to
amuse us little youngsters was to eat his Styrofoam hat. It was sure to get a laugh out of us. Our room was not a square room i think, but
I might just be making that up. Oh, and
my mom wants everyone to know that my brothers were born some time before
kindergarten. So consider yourselves
informed. There were some good times on
the playground too. Apparently, I was a
cute little boy cause girls chased me all the time. I unfortunately ran away from them.
CHAPTER
3 - CHRIS AUSTIN'S LIFE
The
Kindergarten days are pretty much over now.
I have begun the journey into first grade. One day, my awful teacher said I was talking too much in class. She sent me down to the principal's office,
where I had to sit behind a box in the hallway. It was like a quarantine box, there was nothing there but a big
wall separating you from the outside world.
It was maddening, and I recall hating every moment I spent there - I was
not a psycho. I was not a
criminal. I merely was making better
use of my time by not paying attention to things my teacher said that would
prove useless later in life, but improving my social status among the first
graders. The disciplinary note that
went to my house was promptly hidden among the fire wood in my garage. It was found. I did not enjoy that moment of discovery...
CHAPTER
4 - CHRIS AUSTIN'S LIFE
My first grade teacher's name was Mrs.
Levechio. Since she sent me to the
principle's office, I disliked her the rest of the year, and she disliked
me. I had a friend Nick who I worked on
a project with. He didn't color very
well, and Mom was mad that I was in his group - my grades would probably
suffer. I didn't care though, he was a
funny funny boy, and I just laughed the whole time. Then, I would turn on him and chant PIC NICK at him with the rest
of the class cause his name was the end of the word picnic. Mean, sad, but true. There is no loyalty in the first grade. It was only a time of coloring and talking
and having a dumb teacher. But at least
there was recess where I could run away from all the girls with my bud
Rob. No time now, but you'll hear about
Rob Chadbourne, child superhero.
Unfortunately, I saved the rest of these on a
network drive all the way down in Houghton.
Thus, you will not be able to read any more until my return in the
fall. My humblest apologies.
CREATED BY CHRIS AUSTIN WITH WORD
AND PAINT. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©