Captain Belly represents everything that I find good and redeeming in humanity. He's large, He loves bacon, He has an extremely large hat that invokes all sorts of nostalgic cereal longings. In short, Captain Belly is my ideal -- and not only of humanity, but of pork and wo-men, as well; Belly is an equal-oppurtunity icon, the hypnotically-gyrating folds of simulated flesh begging to be worshipped by every last Man, child, and wo-man. Especially me. Feuerbach once claimed that we detached our best traits from the souls of our boots and projected them all upon the transcendent imaginary; we then called this projection 'God' and bowed before it. No we didn't, Feuerbach: we called it Captain Belly.

And we still do....