The next thing I knew, it was Memorial Day. My mom was coming back from her top-secret job in California. I was so excited because I finally got to find out what she was working on. The fact that it was a secret meant that it was a celebrity that I really liked. I picked her up at the airport and of course as soon as I got her in the car, I hounded her about what she had been working on.
�So, is everything in California done?�
�Well, there are still a few more things to be done but Maureen is going to oversee the rest of the work since your prom is at the end of the week and I need to be here for that.�
Maureen was my mom�s assistant and she ran the California office.
�Right. So, now can you tell me what you were working on?�
�Yeah, I guess so. But you can�t freak out when I tell you because you�re driving and I don�t want you to get killed okay?�
�Okay.�
�I was working on Justin Timberlake�s California house.�
�You did? Why didn�t you tell me?� I shrieked.
�Because I knew that you�d react like this. Relax and watch the road.�
�I am watching the road.� I pouted.
�Did you get to meet him?�
�Yes, I did. He came by a lot to check and make sure things were okay. He even took me out to lunch a few times.�
�No way! This is so not fair!�
�Oh, it�s plenty fair. He is going to call you tonight at eight o�clock so make sure you�re not in the shower or something. And I got you his autograph.�
�Oh, thank you Mommy! You�re the best!!�
�You deserve it sweetie. Have a lot of people replied about the party?�
�Just about everyone and they can all come. It�ll be fun.�
�I bet. We have a meeting with the DJ tomorrow.�
�Okay. What time is the meeting? Do you want me to come pick you up?�
�At five. You can come get me. The place is close to my office.�
�Great. Ah! I can�t believe prom is on Friday.�
�I know! Are you excited?�
�Of course!�
�And you�re happy with going with Aaron? I know how you feel about people saying that you two are dating.�
�Yeah, I can�t wait. Aaron�s a great guy. I know I�ll have a good time with him.�
�Are you sure you don�t like him?�
�Mom! You too?�
�What? You two make a perfect couple. He�s your best friend. It makes sense.�
�Whatever. He�s just my friend. End of story. You people are weird.�
�No, you�re weird. You know that he likes you, even though you aren�t supposed to know and you�re leading him on.�
�Well, I�m not supposed know! How am I leading him on?�
�By sleeping in the same bed for starters.�
�Nothing ever happens though.�
�I know but you get all snuggled and close to him. I�m sure he thinks that there�s a shred of hope.�
�I doubt he does. I constantly remind him that there�s nothing between us.�
�Still, he can hope. And I don�t think you�re going to stomp out that hope.�
�What do you mean?�
�I think that you like him but you�re in denial.�
�Why would you say that?�
�Just a mother�s intuition.�
�Weirdo. I don�t like him.�
�Who are you trying to convince? Me or yourself?�
And she left the conversation at that. I was really mad that she was talking about me liking him. I mean I didn�t�right?
That night Justin called me. It was the coolest thing in the world. He was so nice! We talked about a whole bunch of stuff. He was really awesome. I really liked when he begged me to take him to the prom because he had never been to one. Then I explained that I was going with Aaron because he�s my best friend among other things and even Justin thought I liked Aaron! A complete stranger! I didn�t understand why everyone saw that �thing� between us except me. I must have been the only one who didn�t because whole world and their cousin seemed to know.
But anyway, all that stuff was crazy. And even if I did like him, (which I�m not saying I did) I wouldn�t have started a relationship with him at that point. I was going to college in Miami and he was staying in New York. We would only see each other on holidays and that is no way to have a relationship.
Finally, it was prom time! It was the night I had been waiting for all of my high school life. I looked great and had a great date. Leslie came over early to get ready with me. Her dress was white with flowers on the bodice and a tulle skirt. She looked amazing. Her hair was mostly up but there were pieces framing her face. It looked cool. My hair was half up in a ponytail with the rest hanging down in loose curls.
�You look so pretty!� Leslie gushed.
�So do you! Erik will love you.�
�Well Aaron already loves you. He�s gonna die when he sees you.�
�Thanks Les. This is going to be fun.�
�I know. You guys are going to look so cute together.�
�You know what? I really don�t care what people think about Aaron and me anymore.�
�Really? That�s good.�
�Yeah. I don�t want everyone thinking that I like him but I don�t feel like defending myself anymore.�
�That makes sense. I don�t know why they don�t just get over it already.�
�Yeah I know. It�s been 10 months of me saying that I don�t like him. It�s old now.�
�It is. All you have to worry about tonight is having a good time. That�s all it�s about.�
�The guys should be here soon.�
�Yeah, they should. I guess getting dressed is a good idea.�
�Me too.�
While we were getting dressed, mom came upstairs to tell us that Aaron and Erik had gotten to my house. I began to panic. What if Aaron didn�t like the way I looked? What if he regretted taking me? Leslie saw my face and smiled.
�Stop freaking out. He already loves you. Tonight will only make him love you more.�
�You�re right Les. I�m just being paranoid.�
�You look great. Ready to go downstairs?� My mom smiled.
I looked at Leslie. She nodded.
�Let�s go.�
We went downstairs and went into my parents� house. The guys got up when we came in.
�Wow Leslie, you look awesome.� Erik said.
�Thank you Erik. So do you.� She smiled.
I looked at Aaron. He had an unreadable expression on his face.
�You-you look�� he stopped. I gave him a look to help him along.
�You look beautiful.� He said smiling brightly.
I let out a sigh of relief.
�Thank you so much Aaron.�
He came over, put the corsage on my wrist and kissed my cheek.
�You�re welcome. I mean it though. You�ll be the most beautiful girl at the prom tonight.�
�Stop, you�re making me blush.�
�You never blush.�
�Shut up.�
The doorbell rang. My mom went to answer it. I figured it was the limo or something. I was kind of surprised to see Jane walking into the living room with my mom. I knew that Jane was by no means happy that Aaron and I were going to the prom together. Then when Leslie decided to come over and get ready I thought she was going to have a coronary. But the only reason Leslie came over to get ready was because Jane said she had some important business meeting for most of the day.
�Mom? What are you doing here?� Aaron asked
�Well, my meeting ended early and I wanted to see you two before you left for the prom.�
She was such a liar. My mom told me that she called Jane during her meeting and told her that if she was a good mother, she would be there to see her children leave for their prom regardless of how she felt about me. So, as not to be upstaged by my mother she came.
The limo ride to the prom was fun. We listened to music, drank and talked about a bunch of really random stupid stuff. At one point, Leslie and Erik started making out which was a little weird since Aaron and I didn�t go out or anything. We got to the prom about ten minutes late. Everyone was still making their entrances, so it wasn�t a big deal. A lot of people were surprised when I walked in holding Aaron�s hand. I guess they hadn�t heard that I had broken up with Brad and assumed that I would be bringing him. I said my hellos and complimented everyone on how nice they looked and made rude comments to my friends about how gross most of them looked.
I had a lot of fun. I knew going with Aaron was a good idea. Sometimes we ended up dancing a little too close but neither of us made a big deal about it. All that mattered was we were having fun.
�So, are you having as good of a time as I am?� he asked while we were taking a break from dancing.
�Probably more. Thank you so much for offering to take me.�
�Sai, it�s not a problem. There�s no one I would rather be with than you right now.�
�I know but still. I�m going to remember this night for the rest of my life.�
�So will I. This is the best.�
�They should be announcing prom King and Queen soon. I wonder who�s going to win.�
�Well, I�ve heard that you�re a shoe in for Queen.�
�Yeah right.� I laughed.
�No really. I�ve heard it from a few people. It�s practically in the bag.�
�Yeah okay. Whatever prom king.�
�What?�
�You know you�re going to win Aaron. Don�t even play stupid.�
�Whatever. Come on; let�s go back to the floor.�
We went back to join our group. Then they announced prom king and queen. I almost died. It was Aaron and I! I couldn�t believe it. I was so shocked that I was prom queen. I didn�t think I was popular enough. Everyone looked so smug and secure when they looked at us that it made me wonder if they did it on purpose. The space cleared and we took our place to dance. Nsync�s �This I Promise You� came on and we began to dance.
We stopped dancing when the song was ended and everyone was staring at us. I felt so freaked out. I hate when people stare at me. It is weird because I want to be an actress but I couldn�t help it. I looked at Aaron and he smiled. I could tell that it meant a lot to him. It meant a lot to me too. The rest of the night was a blast. I danced with my friends and had a great time. I couldn�t believe high school was almost over. One day I was a freshman and the next thing I knew I was graduating.
After the limo dropped Leslie and Erik off, it took Aaron and I back to my house. I checked on my parents knowing that they would be getting up to start their day as mine was ending. I felt icky and sweaty so after I took off my dress; I went to take a shower. When I was done, Aaron did the same. After he got out, we laid in my bed and watched television until we fell asleep.
Over the next few weeks, things felt weird. It was the last time I was doing so many things. I didn�t want high school to be over because I realized that things were never going to be the same. I didn�t want them to change. The last day of classes, our group of friends decided to go to Central Park to hang out. We rode the carousel, played in the park and took lots of goofy pictures. Before we left, we decided to spend the next day at the beach since it was our first free day of Regents week.
The next day we rode the train to Coney Island and went to the beach. It was a lot of fun. I was glad I had gotten a swimsuit, not that I ever went swimming. I laid around on the beach and read my book while everyone was swimming. I started doing a lot of thinking about what was going to be happening over the next few weeks. After our graduation party, Aaron was going out on tour for the summer so we wouldn�t be together. I didn�t know how I felt about that. Leslie came over and sat next to me.
�What are you thinking about?�
�How do you know I�m thinking about anything?�
�Because I know you.�
�I�m just thinking about stuff. Aaron, school, Aaron, my life. Aaron.�
�Want to talk about it?�
I told her everything. How tired I was of all the accusations and the whispering whenever people saw Aaron and I together, how fed up I was with people asking me if I liked him and then not believing me when I said no, the nagging thoughts, and how I had to censor myself when I talked about him. Then I told her about the conversation my mom and I had when she came back from California. The one where she told me I was in denial about my feelings and how after that I was constantly second-guessing my true feelings. I hated the feeling of not truly knowing how I felt.
�Wow, I�m sorry sweetie.�
�It�s okay. There�s really nothing we can change about it.�
�I know but it must be hard to go through.�
�Yeah, it is. But whatever.�
That trip to the beach was our last romp as a group. The next week and a half would be full of tests and preparations for the end. People really aren�t kidding when they say time flies. I passed my Regents with flying colors. The only reason I passed chemistry was because of Aaron. I was really going to miss him a lot. He had become such an important part of my life that I forgot what my life was without him. Many times before I had asked myself if I made the right decision when I decided to go away to school. I didn�t know if I could really do it. I was in so much trouble.
The morning of graduation I woke up feeling nauseous. I didn�t have butterflies like most people; I had moths flapping around in my stomach. My mom had to practically force feed me breakfast because not only wasn�t I hungry, but my hand was shaking too hard to hold anything. I was so scared. To me, it was the beginning of the end. Two months from that day, I would be in Miami starting college. Far away from everyone and everything I knew. I knew that I made that decision but it was still scary.
I left for school at eight o�clock because the students had to be in earlier. I got off the train and walked to go meet Leslie and Aaron. We were going to meet everyone else at school. We got to school and started to get ready. I fixed my gown and sat down. Aaron sat next to me.
�You okay?�
�I�ll be okay. Just a little nervous is all.�
�Don�t be nervous. This is the easy part.�
�If you say so.�
�Oh Sai, stop being paranoid. You�ll be fine.�
�I know, I know.�
He patted my knee and I smiled at him. He looked awesome. His outfit wasn�t anything special but on him it looked like a million bucks. His usually messy hair was pretty tame. There were a few strands in his face but I liked it that way. I ran my hand through his hair and each strand fell through my fingers like straw. A small smiled played at his lips and his eyes lit up. That was always my sign of affection for him. He pulled me in for a hug and whispered in my ear:
�Thank you for making this the best year of my life.�
�You�re welcome. This year was pretty amazing. Even better than I expected. Thank you.�
It was a touching moment. I couldn�t believe that soon I was going to move away.
Graduation was so boring. I was baking under all the stage lights. Thank God my gown was white and I had on light colors. I was sweating like crazy. After the ceremony, my family went out to lunch with Jessica�s family. It was really fun. The next day, we went to school for our report cards and diplomas and stuff. It felt weird to say that I had graduated from Talent Unlimited. It felt like sometimes I�d never make it out of there.
The party finally came. After that night, my high school days would really be over. It was definitely a trip. Anyway, the party was a lot of fun. We all danced and ate and goofed around. The biggest surprise of the night was when Justin came through the door. My mom had secretly invited him and JC to the party. I freaked out. Aaron made fun of me until I reminded him that even though he had hung out with Justin a million times, I hadn�t. He left me alone after that.
At one point of the night, Aaron and I sat at a table and talked. There were things that we wanted to talk about before we didn�t have the chance.
�So, what do you want for the summer?� he asked
�I don�t know what I want anymore.�
�I know you want get out of here.�
�What do you mean?�
�Leave New York. You know.�
�Oh. Yeah, I guess.�
�You guess? What happened? All you could talk about was going away to school.�
�Well, things have changed.�
�Like what?�
�Just things. I�m not even sure.�
�Okay.�
�I don�t want to talk about this anymore. I want the little time we have left to be fun.�
�You make it sound like we�re never gonna see each other again. We will right?�
�Of course we will.�
�Good.�
�Except I don�t think it�s a good idea to talk all the time while we're at school. At least for the beginning.�
�Why not?�
�Because I�ve forgotten how to live without you. I depend on you way too much. It�s going to be hard for me to adjust again.�
�Well, if that�s how you feel, I understand.�
�Really?�
�Of course.�
�Thanks.�
�Of course Sai. We�re best friends.�
�Forever.�
While we were talking, I heard a familiar slow song come on. Aaron pulled me up.
�What are you doing?�
�You haven�t danced with me all night.�
�True. Let�s go.�
I loved that song. It always made me smile. But this time it was different. That song was really a way for Aaron to tell me how he felt about me without actually saying it. I knew as soon as I heard the first line. I felt that ping in my heart that I had felt so many times before. That completely unreadable pang. Was it love, flattery, shock? I didn�t know.
The next day Aaron left to start his tour. Part of me felt hollow not having him with me. We had become so close that I felt weird knowing I couldn�t just pick up the phone and call him or hang out with him. To ease my sadness and have one last bit of fun before I left for school, Angel, Leslie and I went to Hawaii for a month.
When we came back, I had a week to get ready to move to Miami. I was so scared. Had I really made the right decision when I decided to go so far away? Suddenly everything I did felt wrong. The good thing was that Aaron was going to be in New York when I had to leave. He was driving me to the airport since my parents were driving down with my stuff and I hated to drive. When that day came, I was so scared. Aaron came over and we left right away.
After we got there and checked my bags, we went to get some food. We caught up on what had been happening all summer and what would happen the rest of the summer. We went to my gate a half hour before my plane was set to board.
�Wow, I still can�t believe you�re leaving.�
�Yeah, I know. It feels so weird.�
�It�s like we�re switching places.�
�Yeah, I�m going to Florida and you�re in New York.�
�Yeah. Are you scared?�
�Of what?�
�College, leaving home, all of it?�
�Of course. It�s been something I�m dreading for months now.�
�I bet. It�s weird how much things have changed over the past year.�
�Definitely. It�s crazy. But it all worked out for the better.�
�Yeah. Just think, we may never have met. That�s a scary thought.�
�I know. You�ve become so important to me I can�t think of my life without you in it.�
�Same here. Hey, remember our graduation party?�
�Yeah. My memory isn�t that bad.�
�Remember that song that we danced to?�
�Overjoyed. Yeah, what about it?�
�Did you ever think about why I picked that song?�
�It�s a song that we both love. Makes sense.�
�That�s part of the reason. There�s another reason.�
�What is it?�
�Every time I hear that song, I think about you.�
�Um, okay.�
�That song explains how I feel.�
�How you feel about what?�
�You.�
�What do you mean?�
�Sa�iyda that is exactly how I feel about you. I do all of these things for you hoping you�d realize.�
�Realize what Aaron?�
�Realize that I love you.�
That hit me like a ton of bricks.
�You love me?�
�Yes. I am head over heels, truly, madly, deeply in love with you.�
�For how long?�
�Months. I was going to tell you New Year�s Eve but you know what happened.�
�Yeah. It all makes sense now.�
�I�m glad. And there�s one other thing.�
And then he kissed me. Not just an innocent little peck. A full-blown kiss that sucked the life out of me. I had never been kissed like that before. All of these emotions came out in that kiss. When we broke apart, I just stared at him.
�Say something.�
I couldn�t speak. I didn�t know what to say. I just began to cry. He finally said it. The three words I�d been waiting to hear and I was getting ready to get on a plane. I heard them announce my flight was boarding. I picked up my bags without thinking and began to walk away. I got halfway before I ran back and kissed him.
�I love you too.�
Then I walked away. When I got on the plane I thought about what I had done. I had just told the only person I had ever loved how I felt and walked away. Tears slowly cascaded while I listened to the cd Aaron made me. The last song was �Now and Forever� by Richard Marx.