Chris Kirkpatrick opened up his photo album and took out a picture. He looked at the picture of him and his girlfriend...ex-girlfriend Hannah. Chris loved Hannah, she was his world. He never really told her how he felt though. It wasn't that he didn't want her to know, it was more that he didn't know how to tell her. Chris had only been in love with one other girl in his life. With his first love Danielle everything was new and exciting. He didn't know how to contain his love for her. He wanted to shout his love from the rooftops. When he and Danielle broke up, he was devastated. He didn't think he could love again. Then he met Hannah. She was like a breath of fresh air into his life. She made him feel like he was alive again. He loved the feeling but was worried that it was fleeting and would soon pass. So to protect himself from another heartbreak, he never really let her all the way in. But he realized after the fact that he never told her why he wouldn't let her in. She let him know how she felt all the time and he never told her how he felt. He loved her more than he knew how to describe. She was his world and he wanted her to be his forever. He thought she knew how he felt but it was obvious then that she didn't.
Chris thought back to the day Hannah broke up with him. It was a cold and rainy day. He thought about how much the weather would soon reflect his mood.
"Chris, I don't think this is working out." Hannah said
"What's not working out Han?"
"Me, you...us."
"What do you mean?"
"Chris, it's obvious that you're not as invested in this as I am."
"Of course I am Han."
"Then why don't you show it? I'm tired of putting a hundred ten percent and getting only fifty percent back." he ran his fingers through his hair.
"What do you want me to do?"
"Something, anything, nothing. I don't know."
"So, it's really over?"
"I think so. Bye Chris."
And with that, Hannah was gone. Chris didn't know what went wrong. Well he had an idea but he couldn't really make it make sense. He thought she realized how much she meant to him. He had tried to show her how he felt about her and make her know that he loved her. Maybe he didn't try hard enough. He was probably using the wrong approach. He was never good at expressing his feelings.
He would give anything to talk to her again. To tell her how sorry he was for everything and have her back in his life. He wanted to be near her again. To smell her shampoo, to feel her warm body close to his...anything. He just wanted to touch her one more time. A kiss, a touch, a smile, he would take whatever he could get. He just wanted her to know how he felt.
She had to know how he really felt. He couldn't have been that emotionally barren. She had to know. Maybe he could have said it more. Maybe that would have kept her by his side.
She was his once in a liftime. No one else could ever mean the same to him as she did. If only he had told her how he felt bu he thought she knew.