After I drove off, I didn't hear from Brian for the next couple of weeks. I was really upset about it. I didn't want to lose him�I was afraid, so I decided to call him. The answering machine came on.
"Hey, what's up, what's up, you've reached Kevin, Howie, and Brian�we are currently out of the country but leave your name and number and we'll get back to you as soon as we get back in the states�bye!" Kevin's voice said.
"Hey guys, it's Alyssa�I wish I could have said goodbye�but I hope to hear from you soon�Brian call me as soon as you get this�I miss you." I said into the phone.
I knew Brian had a cell phone, but it was disconnected and I didn't know the new number. After about a month passed, I couldn't take it anymore. I called Kevin's phone.
"Hello?"
"Kev, it's Alyssa."
"Hey what's up?" he asked. We small talked for a little bit.
"So I'm assuming you want to talk to Brian?"
"Yes." I said. Brian got on the phone.
"Hello?"
"Hi Bri." I said timidly.
"Lissy, hey�I'm sorry we left without telling you�but I'm still hurt by you driving off like that." Brian said.
"Brian, can't you understand? How come when you decide to break up, it's okay? But when I do it, it's wrong?" I asked.
"I don't know�all I know is�things have changed�I can't go on talking to you on the phone the way we did before�it hurts too much�so please don't call me anymore�I'll call you when I come home." He said hanging up. I cried so hard when I got off the phone. I couldn't believe he did that. I didn't have contact with him for almost five months after that, when something tragic happened.
My grandmother had gotten sick. We just thought it was the flu�one night she was rushed to the hospital. It turned out she had a severe case of pneumonia. I sat next to my grandma as she laid in that hospital bed. I cried at the thought of losing her and I wanted Brian by my side. I felt alone and when visiting hours were over, I went home to the empty house. I didn't care what Brian had said, I needed to call him. I picked up the phone and dialed Kevin's number. Kevin heard the sadness in my voice and immediately handed Brian the phone.
"Alyssa, what's wrong?" he asked concerned.
"Brian�my grandmother�she's in the hospital�I don't think she's going to make it." I said hysterical.
"Lissy, I'm so sorry." Brian said sincerely.
"Is there any way you can come here? Please Brian, I really need a friend right now." I said. There was silence for a couple of minutes and muttered talking.
"Liss, I'll be on the first flight I can get." He said.
"Thank you Brian�I can't wait to see you." I said.
"Hold on okay and keep praying." He said before hanging up.
The next day I was getting ready to go visit my grandmother, when someone rang the doorbell. I opened the door and was immediately wrapped into a hug by Brian. It was just what I needed at that moment.
"Thank you for coming." I said.
"Anytime�I'm always here for you�forget about what I said before, but I can only stay for a couple of days�we're really working hard over there." Brian said.
"So you guys are pretty popular there, huh?" I asked.
"You wouldn't believe it if I told you." Brian smirked. We drove to the hospital and went into my grandmother's room. She was awake and smiled when she saw Brian.
"What are you doing here?" she said weakly.
"I came to visit you granny." He said. She smiled. He was the only person she let call her that. She held out her arms for him and he hugged her.
"You're a great young man�and I'm glad my granddaughter has a friend like you." She said. Brian smiled at her as he sat down next to me and held my hand.
"Alyssa, I love you�thank you for staying with me." She said. I smiled at her.
"I love you too." I said kissing her hand. She closed her eyes slowly and she was gone. I buried my head into Brian's chest and sobbed. He kissed the top of my head and just held me. It was like my grandmother was waiting to make sure I wasn't alone. The next day my parents flew in and we went to the reading of my grandmother's will. She left me the house. I felt weird staying there all by myself though.
I went to the airport to say goodbye to Brian the next day.
"Sorry I can't stay for the funeral." He said.
"It's okay�I can never thank you enough for being here with me." I smiled at him.
"No problem�oh, expect a package later today." He said.
"What did you get me?" I asked.
"You'll see." He said. I hugged him goodbye.
"I love you." I said.
"I love you too." He said kissing me on the cheek. He walked away.
When I got home, a delivery van was parked outside my house. The man was standing on my doorstep with a box. I signed for it and brought the box inside. When I opened the box, a golden retriever puppy jumped out at me and licked my nose. There was a note around its neck.
Lissy,
Here's someone to keep you company.
I'll call you soon.
Love,
Brian
After that Brian and I were back to a normal friendship, I guess you could say�until Brian called me with something that could change that.
Summer was a week away and I was happy because James and I planned on getting together. Then I received a call from Brian.
"Alyssa, I have a great idea!" Brian said into the phone.
"Since summer is starting and you don't have school�how about coming on tour with us for a little while?" Brian asked. I liked the sound of that.
"Sure, that would be awesome!" I said. I was willing to give up James for Brian. I wondered what this meant for Brian and I though�were we just friends? The next month or so clarified that.
At first, Brian and I were just best friends. I was having a blast hanging out with him and the guys. It was amazing to see all the fans they had.
One night, Brian and I were watching TV in his hotel room. I had fallen asleep on Brian's chest. When I woke up, I looked up at him and we just stared into each other's eyes for a good minute. Brian began stroking my arm as I caressed his cheek and then we kissed. The kiss led to us in bed together. The next morning, I woke up still wrapped in Brian's arms. I didn't know what to make of the night before. I remember being afraid. I knew I wanted Brian back at that point and I was hoping he felt the same way.
"Lissy, about last night�it was beautiful and I missed that, but it was a one time thing�we're friends now and I don't want to ruin that." Brian said. I looked down and then back up at him and smiled weakly.
"Right Brian�we're just friends."
"Best friends." He said hugging me, but I wasn't satisfied with being friends�while I was on tour with the Backstreet Boys, I realized how much I missed being around them and how much I still loved Brian. It never worked out for us�when Brian wanted more from our relationship, I thought it was wrong and vice versa.
After that, things were a little awkward, but I probably made them that way. When I went back home, I started spending a lot of time with James. We became pretty close and we started going out. I didn't tell Brian because I felt weird about it.
One breezy day, James and I were standing outside my house and we were kissing goodbye. When we parted, Brian was standing there.
"Brian!" I yelled running to him and hugging him. James walked over.
"You remember James, right?" I asked. Brian nodded and shook his hand.
"Alyssa, I'm going to go now. I'll call you later." James said kissing my lips right in front of Brian's face. Brian looked angry and he hadn't said a word�that can't be good.
"So are you back for good?" I asked.
"Yeah�we're recording that second album I told you about, oh and we're going to release it in America." He said dully.
"That's great! How come you don't seem happy?" I asked.
"I'm happy about that�I just didn't expect to witness what I just saw." Brian said looking down.
"Is he your boyfriend?" he asked.
"Yes, for about a month now." I said.
"Do you love him?"
"No, but I like him a lot." I said.
"How come you didn't tell me?" Brian asked. He sounded so sad�how did he have the ability to make me feel bad so easily?
"I'm sorry Brian�I didn't think you wanted to know." I said honestly.
"Of course I would�I want to know everything that goes on in your life, even if it hurts." He said with a small smile, but I still saw the sadness in his eyes. At that moment, I let my impulses take over.
"Brian, the reason I don't love James is because I still love you�I don't want to be friends, even if we are the best of friends�I want more�we can make it work this time." I said holding his hands. Brian smiled.
"Are you sure?" he asked.
"I'm positive." I said and this time we both smiled. Brian moved in to kiss me and I stopped him.
"Wait, before we do that�I have to find James�I don't want to hurt him." I said. Brian nodded understandingly.
Within minutes, I arrived at James' house. He looked so happy and surprised to see me. He grabbed me and kissed me.
"What's wrong?" he asked seeing my face.
"James, we need to talk." I said.
"I like you�a lot�but there's something I didn't tell you�I'm in love with someone else�I've always been and I can't get him out of my mind." I said.
"Let me guess�Brian?" he asked and I nodded.
"I'm so sorry James�I never meant to hurt you." I said crying�James fought back the tears and just hugged me.
"All I want is for you to be happy�I can't force you to love me�but just know that I do love you and I'll always be here for you." He said.
"Thank you�you're a great guy." I said. We kissed goodbye and I drove over to Brian's to give him that kiss. I felt so horrible about what I did to James though.
For the next couple of months, Brian and I were having fun together, but now we had a new problem. We didn't act like two people in love, we acted like best friends. We just couldn't get it right.
The Backstreet Boys finished recording their album and I finished college. They released their first song in the U.S. and it was a hit! I was so proud of them. One night, I was sitting with Brian while he wrote his "thank yous".
"I'm trying to think of what to write to you�the management won't let us say we have girlfriends." Brian said.
"So say I'm your best friend�basically that's what we are." I said as Brian looked up at me.
"You're feeling that way too, huh?" he asked. I nodded.
"What should we do about it?" he asked.
"What do you want to do about it?"
"I don't know�I'm just afraid that if we continue on at the rate we're going, we'll be an old couple by the time we're 30." He said and I had to laugh.
"You're probably right�so just friends again?" I asked.
"Uh�" he started.
"Oh sorry, best friends?" I asked.
"The bestest." He giggled and we hugged. So here we were again. Deep down I still felt that sometime in the future we would get married and start a family. This little break was just to help prepare our relationship and make it better for later use. Someone needed to sing "Daydream Believer" to me at that time.
The months past and I was still in "Brian land"�he seemed to be in the same world I was in, but then that day�the day I thought my life ended happened.
I flew out to Los Angeles with the Backstreet Boys for a series of video shoots they were doing. I had to go there anyway to interview some ten year old singer. When they told me his name, I laughed�Aaron Carter�Nick's little brother. Something told me this would be more fun, than work.
Aaron was filming his first video, "Crush On You" and Nick made an appearance in it. Nick was less annoying than he used to be and he looked out for Aaron. During a break and after I interviewed Aaron, I was playing with him and Nick came over to me.
"And you don't find him annoying?" he asked. I laughed at him.
"No, actually he's less annoying than you are now!" I joked. Nick was like a little brother to me. I had a special bond with all of the guys, but besides Brian, I was closest to Kevin.
The next day I was on the set of the Backstreet Boys video for "Everybody (Backstreet's Back)". Brian looked so adorable as a werewolf and he kept trying to bite my neck. We all had a lot of fun on that set. It was fun watching the guys dressed up with make-up on.
The Backstreet Boys finished that video in three days and then filmed "All I Have To Give", which only took about a day and a half. The next video they made was for my favorite song, "As Long As You Love Me". I made them sing it constantly. There were a whole bunch of girls on that set. I was talking to Kevin when I said,
"Who's that girl Brian's talking to?"
"She's one of the girls for the video." Kevin said. The girl turned slightly.
"Leighanne!?" I said shocked. Kevin looked at me weird as I ran off toward Brian and the blonde haired girl.
"Leigh!" I screamed.
"Alyssa!" Leighanne screamed back as she hugged me. Brian looked so confused.
"You two know each other?" he asked.
"This is my cousin I told you about back in Georgia!" I said.
"Your cousin?" Brian asked. I nodded.
"This is Brian." I said to Leighanne.
"Oh we already met." She said.
"No, I mean this is Brian." I said emphasizing his name.
"Oh this is Brian, Brian?" she said shocked. I nodded.
"So what are you doing here?" I asked.
"My agent told me about this video shoot for some group and here I am!" she said.
"It's so good to see you." I said hugging her again. The director called for all the girls on the set.
"Well, that's my cue." Leighanne said about to walk away.
"I'll see you tonight." Brian said smiling at her and she smiled back. What was going on?
"What do you mean? What's going on tonight?" I asked.
"Um, um, I asked her out." Brian said.
"What? You asked out my cousin!?" I exclaimed.
"Well, I didn't know she was your cousin!" Brian said.
"I can't believe you would do this to me!" I said storming off. I went back to my hotel and cried. The one person I trusted growing up is now going on a date with the one person I loved�it just wasn't fair.
Later that night, there was a knock on my door. I opened it and Leighanne was standing there.
"Can I come in?" she asked. I opened the door wider and she stepped in.
"How was your date?" I asked.
"Do you really want to know?" she asked back.
"Leigh, how could you do this to me? You know how I feel about Brian!"
"Alyssa, I'm sorry, I didn't know it was him�"
"Do you love him now?" I asked sarcastically.
"No�I do like him, but I won't see him again if you don't want me to." She said.
"Really?" I asked and she nodded.
"Thanks Leigh." I said hugging her. I could tell by the look on her face that she really did like Brian, but I was being selfish. We hung out in my room all night catching up on old times. It was nice to have her back in my life.
The next day at the video shoot, every time Brian and Leighanne were talking and noticed me, they'd quickly separate. It really bothered me. Brian was being very distant toward me. He was probably mad at me because he figured I had something to do with Leighanne not going on another date with him. I was going to make it my mission to get Brian back though.
After I went back to Florida, the Backstreet Boys started heavy promotion all across the U.S. I kept in contact with Leighanne and Brian and I kept our friendship going.
The Backstreet Boys came home because they were doing a concert in Florida. I decided that this was my chance to get Brian back. I bought a sexy red dress and put my hair up. I bought a single red rose. I walked up to Brian's apartment and knocked on the door. Brian answered it shirtless.
"Alyssa, what are you doing here?" he asked as I walked past him.
"I came to visit my favorite guy." I said outlining his lips with my finger. He pulled my hand away.
"You should have called first." He said.
"Well, I've been thinking about you�a lot." I said wrapping my arms around his neck.
"Lissy, what are you doing?" Brian said. I looked at him.
"I still love you Brian." I said.
"Don't you love me?" I asked and just then someone emerged from Brian's bedroom. I turned to see Leighanne wearing nothing but a t-shirt.
"Brian, did you find the champagne?" she asked and then noticed me. I looked her dead in the eye and then at Brian as I backed away from him.
"I can't believe you two!" I said crying.
"Alyssa, I'm sorry�let me explain." Leighanne said coming closer to me.
"No, I don't want to hear it�I never want to see either of you again." I said as I had trouble breathing. I ran out of the house and I could hear Brian calling after me, but I didn't turn back. I just drove away�crying, it began to rain and I wasn't seeing straight anymore. I almost crashed into someone. They got out of the car as I just put my head on the steering wheel. The person knocked on the window and I opened the door and got out.
"I'm really sorry." I said not looking at the person.
"Alyssa, are you okay?" a familiar voice said. I looked up and it was James.
"I don't know." I said. He hugged me.
"I've missed you." He said. He made me follow him back to a caf�. We sat there and talked for hours. He made me tell him everything. I could tell he felt sorry for me�I even felt sorry for myself, but only because I was so stupid. I was living in a fantasy and I was leaving it up to fate to make sure Brian and I would end up together�I didn't try to live life�I waited for life to live for me. After James and I talked, I felt better. I went home and began looking through old memories when I found something. I found my old writing notebook. I opened it up and read the last sentence.
Billy and I parted ways�but we'll be together in the end somehow.
A tear rolled down my face, but I sniffed it back. I took out a pen and began adding to the story. I wrote about everything that has happened since Brian and I first broke up. The anger, the pain, the love, everything I felt went into that notebook. It was weird because as soon as I closed that notebook, it stopped raining, the sun came out and I smiled. At that point, I knew I had the strength to let go.
As time went on, I did get over Brian�I still loved him�I will always love him, but I wasn't in love with him anymore. Brian and Leighanne attempted to contact me several times, but I wouldn't let myself answer them, no matter how much it killed me. I needed to be fully recovered. It took me a year to build up the guts to pick up the phone. I missed Brian too much and I missed having Leighanne to call.
"Hello?" Brian answered.
"Hi Bri."
"Lissy?"
"Yeah, it's me."
"It's really good to hear from you�I'm so sorry we lied to you�I never meant to hurt you." Brian said.
"I know you didn't�I was hurting myself." I said.
"Hey, I'm in town. Can I come to visit you?" Brian asked. "I have something to ask you." He said. I agreed. I was curious as to what he wanted to ask me.
I waited nervously in the living room for Brian to arrive. The doorbell rang and I almost tripped over my dog. I opened the door and there Brian stood. His face never changes. He smiled slightly before hugging me.
"You look great." He said.
"Thanks, so do you." I said as we made our way into the living room. Brian began petting the dog he had bought for me years ago.
"Have a seat." I said. We both sat on the couch.
"Lissy, I miss you�you're my best friend�I know I have the guys, but you and I have a special bond�and I'd like that back. I was hoping you'd call." Brian said.
"You knew I would eventually." I said.
"Well, I was afraid that you hated me."
"I could never hate you�I was embarrassed." I said.
"Leighanne misses you too." Brian said.
"Brian, I forgive both of you�it wasn't my place to tell Leighanne not to see you anymore�I guess I did it because I didn't want anyone else to have you�I've come a long way since then. I know where our friendship ends now." I said.
"That's good to hear�it makes me feel so good to know we can still be friends." Brian said.
"Best friends." I said and Brian giggled since that's what he always said to me. We hugged.
"So how long have you and Leighanne been together now?" I asked.
"Two years." He said. I nodded along.
"We love each other very much and well yesterday I proposed." Brian said. My eyes bugged out of my head.
"Are you okay?" Brian asked worried.
"Brian, I'm fine�just a little shocked." I said.
"Congratulations." I said hugging him.
"Well, what I wanted to ask you is if you would come to the wedding?" he asked.
"I wouldn't miss it for the world." I said. I really was okay with it too.
Later on that day, I went out with the Backstreet Boys and Leighanne to celebrate. After seeing Brian and Leighanne together, I knew they were meant to be together. I was happy that two special people in my life found each other.
Toward the end of the night, Leighanne pulled me over to the side.
"Alyssa, are you really okay with this?" she asked.
"Yes, I'm happy for the both of you." I said.
"Thank you�I want to ask you for a favor�will you be my maid of honor?" she said. I was surprised.
"I'd be honored." I said hugging her.
When I went home that night, I thought about this bizarre situation and smiled. I wouldn't say I was happy the way things turned out, but at the time it was better than nothing.
The next few months, I was doing great. I was helping Leighanne plan the wedding and I was writing like crazy. I finally finished my first book and was working on getting it published. I was sitting with Leighanne, Brian and Nick filling out wedding invitations.
"Oh, Alyssa, are you bringing a date?" Leighanne asked.
"I didn't know I could."
"Of course you can." Brian said.
"You can bring me!" Nick said. I just laughed.
"Thanks for the offer, but I already have someone in mind." I said.
"Ooh�is he cute?" Leighanne asked and Brian smacked her arm.
"What? I'm asking for Alyssa's sake." She said.
"Yeah, well turns out you and Lissy have the same taste." Brian joked and Leighanne and I both smacked him.
"Oww�sorry." Brian said rubbing his head. Leighanne and I high fived each other.
The wedding day finally arrived and I was nervous. I sat with Brian on the steps as he looked terrified.
"So this is it." He said.
"Yeah, this is it." I smiled.
"I'm scared." Brian said.
"Don't be�look I know this may sound weird coming form me, but you and Leighanne belong together�you two are truly the fairytale�I just tried to make us one." I said handing Brian a book.
"What's this?" he asked.
"Just look at it." I said.
"Summer Nights�" he said reading the title.
"By Alyssa Fairfield?" he said looking up at me.
"You got your first book published?" he asked with a big smile. I nodded as he hugged me.
"Read the dedication." I said. Brian opened the book and read it aloud.
This book is dedicated to my best friend�Brian, we'll always have these good memories�we are a fairytale�just not your typical one. I wish you all the best.
Love,
Lissy
Brian finished reading and closed the book. He had tears in his eyes.
"Thank you." He said hugging me.
"Thank you Brian, you're the reason I started writing in the first place." I said. Kevin came into the room.
"Let's get this show on the road." He said. I walked into the room where Leighanne was. She looked gorgeous.
"You look beautiful." I said hugging her.
"Thank you, so do you." She said.
"Are you ready?" I asked and she nodded nervously. We walked to our positions and it was my turn to walk down the aisle. As I walked, I looked at Brian and he winked at me. I smiled and then looked over at my date. James smiled at me and I smiled back.
The wedding ceremony was beautiful and the reception was a blast. Brian sang a song to Leighanne that he wrote and it was so sweet. James and I had a really good time. I was glad that after the pain I caused him, he was still my friend and maybe more. Everything worked out. Brian was a part of my family now and we had so many good times ahead off us.
Now here I am at sixty years old telling the story of my life�I made some mistakes, but I wouldn't change any of them. Without them, I would not have learned, I would not know how to live, and I would have nothing to write about.
I have a great marriage to James and I'm the proud mother of three beautiful children and grandmother of eight. Five of my novels have made it to the best seller's list, so I lived a great life with my best friend Brian by my side. Even though this isn't your typical ending, it's still a fairytale to me.