true story about a recent Northwest Airlines flight to Boston during Hurricane Bob:

the captain did his best to skirt the edge of the storm, but it was a pretty rough ride
just the same -- rough enough that the flight attendants were ordered to strap themselves
into their seats for nearly an hour, and many passengers were putting those little
plastic-lined bags in their seat pockets to good use.

when the turbulance finally abated, the flight attendants unbuckled themselves, and the
captain's voice came on over the intercom:

"well, folks, that was quite some ride, wasn't it? But we came through it fine like we
said we would, and it looks like the rest of the trip will be much calmer. On behalf of
myself and today's flight crew, I'd like to thank you very much for your calmness and
cooperation, and extend out best wishes for a pleasant stay in Boston. Thank you."

after a short pause and several clicks, there came a few more words:

"damn, wotta bitchin' ride that was! What I really need now is a good strong cup of coffee
and a blow job!"

as a panicked stewardess dashed up the aisle to tell the captain that the intercom was still
on, one of the passengers shouted:

"don't forget the coffee!!"