You Might Be a Hip-Hop Pagan!
If there's a picture of the RZA on the God's part of your altar...
If your Words of Power sound a lot like "Criminal Minded"...
If your coven gives new meaning to the terms "High Priestess" and "High Priest"...
If you think a skyclad coven would be tha bomb if only dime pieces like Tyson and Toni would join...
If circle etiquette demands that you submit to a weapons check and set your pager on "vibrate"...
If you call the quarters by cell phone...
If your libation of choice is Mystic, Crooked I, Olde English, or gin and juice...
If you know about the "astral plane" because of that line in Method Man's "Bring the Pain"...
If an oversized Karl Kani or Tommy Hilfiger shirt qualifies as a ritual robe...
If the element of fire is symbolized in your circle by a smoldering bong or crack pipe...
If the element of air is symbolized by a pager...
If the element of water is symbolized by a glass of Tanqueray...
If your Samhain celebration included shoutouts to Tupac and the Notorious BIG...
If the Rump Shaker is considered a traditional dance in your circle...
If your medicinal herb of choice is bought by the nickel bag...
If your plans to celebrate in the woods to live music were spoiled by your inability to find outlets for a mixer and turntables...
If you think that using a scourge in an initiation is just a little too freaky...
If you celebrate Beltaine with a booty call...
If your High Priestess' acrylics interfere with her ability to perform a ritual...
If your High Priest was selected by freestyle MC battle...
If the closest thing to Celtic music in your collection is that song by the Fugees where they sample Enya's "Boadicea"...
...and you insist that it COUNTS....
If your Words of Power are "jeepable"...
If you thrilled to all the African-Pagan symbolism in Busta Rhymes' "Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Can See" video...
If you curse every other word during ritual...
...and this is after you decided to clean up your language for the God/dess...
If there is an entire section in your Book of Shadows devoted to obtaining and caring for stereo equipment...
If you dismiss Laurie Cabot's critics as "playa haytas"...
If you skip circle for a Bulls game...
If you've ever performed a ritual for an NBA team...
If going barefoot in circle is a good way to contact the Earth AND make sure your new sneakers don't get f*cked up...
If you've ever considered cursing someone for stealing your jacket...
If you refer to the traditional ways of working magick as "old school"...
If you use Nike or Wu-Wear accessories as talismen...
If you've incorporated hieroglyphics, runes, or a pentacle into your graffiti tag...
If, when getting your nails done, you have your polish color-corresponded to your plans for the week...
If your Wand of Power is semi-automatic...
If you don't care what it does to the energy flow to your third chakra, you're still wearing a bulletproof vest to open-air rituals...
If you like your baggy jeans 'cause those big pockets can hold an entire deck of tarot cards...
If your Jeep has a Venus of Willendorf or Damballah hood ornament and a "Born-Again Pagan" bumpersticker...
If your familiar's a big ol' attack dog...
If the smell of incense reminds you of an Erykah Badu concert...
If you visualize Lil' Kim as the Maiden, Lauryn Hill as the Mother, and Pam Grier as the Crone...
If you regard a Hurricane G or OutKast or Witchdoctor concert as a Pagan festival...
If you wrote a pissed-off letter to the Source about religious defamation when they called C. Delores Tucker a "witch"...
If you call the Gods by saying "Yo-yo-yo-yo, check THIS!"...
If you refer to praising the God/dess as "givin' my props to tha ol' Earth"...
YOU JUST MIGHT BE A HIP-HOP PAGAN! (And if you are, E-mail me, will you? It gets so lonely all by myself....)
Wanna go back to the front?
Email: [email protected]
