I've decided to join the emo revolution. Click here to find out if I'm completely full of shit or if I really am a horn-rim sporting faggot.

For you Dagorhirians, here are some products of my insomnia.

For all of yous homosapiensexuals, here's an article for you.

I'm going to be overhauling this site as soon as I get my shit together, and pending Gnomish approval, we're gonna be restarting the Church. So...

Here is a list of bands you need to see NOW! (started 6/29/02) (updated 4/13/04)

Eight Bucks Experiment: From the swamps of Denver, CO come 8 Bucks Experiment, who will rock your face harder than it has ever been rocked before. Unless you regularly beat yourself in the face with 15 ton weights. In which case, you should go see them anyway. Oh yeah, and they were the band in SLC Punk if that matters to ya.

Bill the Welder: Bug annd his cast of uh... tens rock the denisens of Fort Collins, CO with a brand of punk rock most cities wish they had. Coming soon: the new album featuring Karl Alvarez of All Systems Go, ALL, The Descendents and The President's Wives and Bill Stevenson of Only Crime, ALL and The Descendents.

Atom and His Package: Never before has one lone Hebrew amassed such a following, except maybe Jesus. A delightful blend of sequencer-produced, dance-party beats and punk rock gee-tars. This is the best thing to come out of Philly since the cream cheese.

The Phantom Limbs: They're pissed off, dirty and they have a keyboard player that is not there to look cool and gothic. This was the first East Bay band that blew my fucking mind, and they will blow your mind too.

Richmond Sluts: Speaking of good East Bay bands, here's another. They're just old school rock n' roll. Move your ass to good music for a change, and go see these guys.

The Narcoleptics x5: In my humble opinion, these four guys ARE the Cleveland punk scene. KoLB runs SFL Records and every time I see a GOOD local show, these guys are on the bill.

Lords of the Highway: What would happen if the Dead Kennedys went a little country? You'd get Lords of the Highway. Another great Cleveland band. As a bonus, you get a hot chick playing a stand-up bass. And a Misfits cover. And TRUCKMAN! For fuck's sake, go see them.

The Unknown: They've been around for years, and you've probably never heard of them. But you should. These West Side Clevelanders play polished pop-punk that isn't too sugary for my tastes. That means they're good, fucker. And they're nice guys to boot. Go see them!

Kip Nash: Once hailing from Ft. Fun, they have now moved to KCMO. I was standing right by the stage when I saw them. The lead singer jumped off stage, screamed in my face, shoved me out of the way and then went off to go to the bar. They play loud "dance party rock and roll" as S2R Steve called it. If you ever get the chance to see these guys live, do it. And their shirts and CDs are only 2 bucks.

Drag the River: Drag the River is the only country band that's come around in the last 20 years that I like. Less redneck happy fun time like the top 9 at 9 you hear on the radio, and more Cash and Williams inspired goodness. All these guys are in the punk scene (Chad-ALL, Jon-Armchair Martian, JJ-The Nobodys and JJ Nobody and The Regulars, Paul-Armchair Martian), so they cover guys like Lagwagon, Misfits and Pinhead Circus. This'll be the only country band I pimp, unless there's more good stuff like this out there. Feel free to enlighten me.

Dead and Gone: I should really go back to California to visit. Here's another great California band. I think the Alternative Tentacles website said it best when they wrote, "Listening to Dead And Gone is like huffing gasoline while driving 200 miles per hour on a single-lane highway in complete darkness. It's Benny Goodman whacked out on crack. It's the same old story: boy meets girl, boy loses girl; boy finds girl again only to get shot at point blank range after buying a wedding ring for his future bride." (http://www.alternativetentacles.com/bandinfo.php?band=deadandgone&sd=vl7-capKE2SE0bkrvps 2:53 AM July 22, 2002)

Reno Divorce: One of my favorite Denver bands. They draw a lot of comparisons to Social Distortion, but they're coming from somewhere completely different. They're always playing somewhere around Denver, so check 'em out.

Losers Beat Winners: From Nashville, TN comes a band who sounds nothing like a band from Nashville, TN. The most common comparison I've heard is to Husker Du. Although, the first thing that popped into my head was The Ramones, if only because both nights I saw them they ripped through their set.

The Last: Great fucking band from the old LA scene. This is one of those bands everyone should like. Joe Nolte and friends should be playing more than one show a month shortly, so go see them when they're all up in your area.

Poor Celebrity Death Cult: They get better every time they play. And I've been sober most of those times. That says a lot. Featuring Jones, Poppacap and Flying J formerly of Bill The Welder and the always entertaining Craven Flesh. An album is forthcoming.

The Briefs: Great old-school band. They all look like they could be in one of them Swedish garage bands, though.

Dysarranged: Quality punk rock from Denver, CO. They're all cooler than you, because they still think silly string is amusing. With a new drummer, they are now A Void. More info when I see them open for The Virus.

Hamsterhead: Let's bomb Boulder, not Iraq! Nederland, CO teens make good noises with their instruments about politics and stuff.

My favorite place to go in the Fort.
My other favorite place to go in the Fort.
Best live music club in Denver, as long as you mind keeping your dancing boots at home...
"So, if you go to the 15th street pub in Denver, and you see a fat fuck bouncer with a big mouth...kick him in the balls and mention that he needs to learn some manners. Please be sure to call him "fat fuck" or "fuckface" or something along those lines, that should hurt his feelings" --Eric Tuberdyke(http://thepavers.com/talk12.asp July 22, 2002 4:11 AM)
The New Place To Be In Denver When You Want To See Bands You've Heard Of And Drink Cheap Beer (FUCK YOU NIPP!).
Sluggy Freelance: The Best Comic Strip Ever

Seanbaby.com: The Best Humor/Opinion Site On The Web
Cliff Yablonski Hates You: Yes He Does

Angry Naked Pat: He's Angry. He's Naked. He's Pat.

Flame me at [email protected] or flame on at your local gay bar. We've got the Static. They have grindcore bands play.

Keep your prayers to yourself, it's safer that way.
Enjoy your show,
Judas