Chapter One
Once upon a time there was a magnificent castle in the great land of Huntingshire. The castle, made of limestone and other luxurious rocks, stood over five hundred feet above its moat. It had an enormous drawbridge as many other castles of the time did to protect from the crocodiles in the moat. Turrets and towers rose out of the frame of the incredible castle with flags of every colour hanging from the poles at the top of each of them. Although it looked very elaborate from the outside, it did have its mysterious side. It had hundreds of secret passages and catacombs. Not even the king knew of all of the tunnels.
DJ Prod, however, claimed to know all of the secret passages in the castle. He was the castle�s wizard and designed the secret passages with charms and enchantments guarding some areas, when the castle was built. His memory would prove sketchy for the castle was constructed a mere three hundred years ago.
He was a proud man who loved as much to brag as he did to insult. He had white hair down to his heels and a beard down to his navel. He was lanky although you would never know. His body was always hidden under his puffy, purple and blue wizard outfit, which was covered in white stars and crescent moons. He thought it made him look like an intellectual. The opposite was true.
In spite of his many negative traits, he did have a friend. Her name was Madam Z. Nettles. She was a young woman with bright blonde hair and perfect teeth. She usually wore very revealing clothing. She most certainly was a typical dumb blonde. Everything she did or said was the wrong thing to do it seemed. On one occasion somebody said that she wasn�t all there and she checked to see if she was missing a limb.
Prod and Nettles chatter as they walk down one of the secret catacombs. They came to an intersection of four passages. Prod pointed to the left and they walked towards the door to the left.
Nettles opened the door. They walked in and the lighting brightened to reveal a gigantic room. It had giant pillars holding up the roof. They marveled at the size of the room, when a gigantic dragon appeared right in front of them!
It slowly approached them. Its feet thundered with each step. Prod turned around to run out the door they came in through, but it had vanished! They were trapped.
DJ ran up to the dragon pulling out his wand. He shouted, �I�ll save this damsel in distress!� He pointed his wand at the dragon�s face and then he � fell asleep on the floor! There he was, the wizard of the castle, asleep in front of a deadly dragon! The dragon stopped and looked very confused.
Nettles ran up to DJ and snatched his wand from his hand. Since she had no idea what to do, she just said what first came into her mind, �Ala kazaam, abra kazoo. Put this dragon away in a zoo!� Absolutely nothing happened. After about five seconds of silence, the dragon started to laugh! The room shook and Nettles dodged the flames from the dragon�s laughter.
�Dat were the worstest spell I ever seen!� the dragon chuckled loudly.
�I didn�t know dragon�s could talk,� Nettles said.
�Aye! I can talc but me got bad grandma,� the dragon stated. It was a grammatical nightmare.
�You mean you can talk but you have bad grammar,� Nettles pointed out.
�Whatever!� the dragon sighed. The stood in silence and listened to DJ Prod snoring loudly. Then the dragon started to laugh once again. This time he laughed so hard that tears fell from his eyes and started to flood the room. He fell over on back laughing at the awful spell attempt. Nettles spotted a door on the other side of the room. She ran and picked up Prod from the floor and ran past the laughing dragon towards the door.
She opened it just as the dragon knocked a pillar down with its tail. The rest followed and the entire room collapsed onto it. Nettles ran in just as a piece of the roof fell where they were before. �Whew!� she sighed in relief.
Nettles found herself in another secret passage. She ran down the dark conquered tunnel until she came to a torch on the wall. She pulled it down and a door swung open from the wall. She walked through and found herself in the castle�s library.
Nettles dropped DJ Prod on the marble floor of the library. Prod flinched in pain as he hit the floor. He awoke from his strange coma.
�What�s going on?� DJ Prod asked rubbing his eyes.
�Your narcolepsy is acting up again,� Nettles shouted. A person at a nearby table reading shushed them. �Shut up!� Nettles hissed at them. They continued reading in embarrassment.
�Darn!� Prod shouted, ignoring further shushing. �What happened to the dragon?�
�It started laughing at my attempt to put a spell on it� Nettles gave Prod his wand back.
�What did you say?�
�I said al � THAT IS RELEVANT AT ALL. What is important is where that dragon came from. We�ve been in that room before and there was no dragon.�
�You�re right! Someone must have known that we go in there a lot, and placed a dragon in the room to get rid of us for one reason or another.�
�Why would they do that?�
�Like I said, I don�t know.� With that they walked out of the library in deep thought. Prod in much deeper thought than Nettles, typically.
Chapter Two
Nettles and Prod walked out the front doors of the castle
and into the forest of the king. They could clearly see that autumn was finally among
the kingdom.
The leaves of the deciduous forest that lay in front of them was coloured of
all colours of fall. Just to add to the truely pastoral scene, was a hardly fair
lady playing the ukulele on a tree stump.
She wore tattered, old, oily, rags. Her face was blurred in
the shadown under her old, grey,hood which looked oddly out of place. All Prod could
see of her was her filthy white hair. In spite of the fact he couldn't see her face,
something seemed awfully familiar about her. Her just couldn't put a finger on it.
She moaned, "Money for the poor?"
Nettles snapped, "Get a job, you no good lousy louse!"
Prod muttered to himself, "Good one."
After throwing Prod a sharp look, Nettles said goodbye to the woman and
then walked away. She heard the old crone mutter something under her breath as they
left her in their dust. Nettles spun around on one toe and screamed, "What are you
saying about me y'old bat! People like you ought to be locked away!"
It was at that moment that Nettles realized she was yelling at
nothing, the woman had disappeared! Vanished into thin air! Nettles turned
back to a snickering Prod and shuttered in embarrassment.
Nettles shouted for Prod to shut up. They then continued
down the path of yellow, orange, gold, red, and bronze to get home, poking fun at each other
occasionally.
After about a half hour of walking, they were almost there.
Prod broke the current long silence by saying, "You know, that ukulele player seemed awfully familiar you know. Ah well! It can't be important enough if I can't rem..."
He was fast asleep on the forest floor!
