* * * * * *
He spots you at soundcheck and jogs towards you, pulling you into a hug. "Hey!"
"Yo."
He laughs at your greeting and attempted nonchalantness. Truthfully, that hug sent a thrill through you and in your head, you're replaying that afternoon in front of the TV for the millionth time. Nick has scarred you for life and you're going to kill him for not being able to act normally around Jesse. Or maybe you'll just fuck him.
"How've you been?" he asks, smiling widely, white teeth blinding.
"Not bad. You?"
"Can't complain."
Yeah. You remember that feeling, being at the top of the world with fame and the future before you. You feel over the hill at 17, and you're sure you've never been as big as Jesse.
"You're doing the Twister thing, right?"
"Yeah! You and Nick did it too, huh? How was it?"
You shrug. "Not bad. It's a gig."
"Yeah.. " but he looks a little puzzled. Maybe money and fame hasn't jaded him yet. It's a refreshing thought. "Nick ain't with you?"
Nick. You really don't need to be thinking of Nick around him. "Nah, doin' his thing with the Boys."
"He must be happy."
You stare at a random spot on the floor, remember the last time you saw Nick, a few days ago. Remember his bright smile and loud laugh as you tickled his stomach and he reached upward, kissing you breathless.
"Yeah.. he's happy."
You have no idea why you sound so sad.
* * * * *
There's an after-party after the concert. You, Jesse and Gavin hang out for a bit, before Gavin takes off, leaving you and Jesse at the tables. Everyone else is rather occupied, mostly with girls. You wonder why Jesse hasn't ditched you yet. You just want to get the hell out of Kansas. You suppose that makes you Dorothy but you don't really give a shit. You wonder what Nick is doing. You look down at your cell: 11pm. No calls.
"You thinkin' of bailing?� Jesse's voice, so close to your ear. It's then you notice he has one arm casually draped around your neck and your thighs are pressed tightly up against one another�s. You're not used to sitting so close to someone who isn't Nick.
"Probably should."
"I'll go with you. We're in the same hotel."
You nod, unable to read him. You know Nick told you to, "Just do it," but you've never been one for Nike slogans.
The ride to back to the hotel and up in the elevator is nice, if uneventful. He's great, and you're both a lot a like. You could really like him, if you let yourself.
"Wanna come to my room? I've got a mini-bar.� The last part is said in a stage whisper and you have to laugh through your surprise.
"How'd you pull that, dogg?"
"Easy. Turns out hotel managers don't like saying no to celebrities."
"I'll have to remember that.� You're following him to his door before you even realize you hadn't given an answer. Ah, well. Here you go.
Just do it.
* * * * * *
You're sitting cross-legged on his bed, downing your second mini-bottle of Jack. He's laughing at something you said; you have no idea what it was.
He starts re-enacting the performance of Incomplete he saw at Zootopia, climbing onto his knees on the bed, one hand reaching for the sky as he belts out the chorus.
"Hey, that's my big bro you're dissin' there!� The protest loses its effect since you're laughing so hard through the words that you're nearly in tears. It was a near perfect imitation of Nick�s emoting.
He's laughing too, and, you assume, pretty buzzed since he falls forward, half on top of you. The air whooshes out of you at the contact for a second, but you're still laughing as he giggles against you're neck. You're not sure how it changes, but suddenly your arms are roaming up and down his back and his giggles turn into soft moans as he kisses your neck frantically. You shift so he's fully on top of you and moan when his leg slips in between your thighs. His mouth is hot against your jaw and you turn your head to meet it, open-mouthed and ready. Your tongues dance and tangle, lips so hot against you and it's wonderful to kiss someone your age, to be teenagers making out in this hotel room, engaging in something common yet still illicit.
With Nick, all you have is the illicit.
Nick is more experienced kisser. He devours your mouth with skill and determination. Jesse is clumsy and frantic, opting for eagerness over technique. You don't mind; in fact, you welcome the difference.
He's moaning loudly now, sobs swallowed by your tongue while his hands are trying desperately to pull off your shirt. You shove him back a little until you're both sitting up, stealing fast, closed-mouthed kisses in between lifting one another's shirts up and off. They're tossed to the floor, landing in the same place you'd toed off your shoes. Your hands go to one another�s jeans, so frenzied are the movements that you can't even get the buttons undone. You look at each other, faces flushed, and laugh. He pulls you close until your chests are together and kisses you deeply. You moan and arch against him, continuing your one-handed work on his buttons. Finally, they're open and the zipper is down. You push him backwards against the pillows and quickly pull his pants and boxers down just enough. You settle yourself between his spread legs, licking the juncture of his thigh.
He groans and moves upward, trying to thrust into the hand you teasingly placed next to the base of his cock; you refuse to touch it just yet. You move down to his balls, rolling them between your fingers as your other hand eases down your own zipper. You shrug out of your jeans and boxers and grasp the base of his dick just as your own presses against the cotton sheets. You hiss and rub yourself against them, stealing a glance upward. Jesse looks completely undone, lips ruby red, hair mussed, eyelids heavy as he struggles to keep them open. He meets your gaze and you shift upward, pulling his dick to your lips. You breathe on the tip, never breaking the stare.
"Aaron.." It's choked and raspy and oh so hot. You lick the head of his cock, eyes falling shut at the taste. He jerks against the touch and you close your mouth over him, moving up and down at a tantalizing pace. He's thrusting upwards, moaning like a bitch in heat, moaning like Nick. You suck harder at the thought, remembering that afternoon, your fantasy of Nick watching you, joining you.
You slide your tongue up and down the hard vein of his cock, imagining Nick behind you, fucking you as you suck Jesse hard and fast, moaning in your ear how hot this is, hot you are, how much he loves you, wants you, needs you.
"Baby," he'd say. "My baby."
Your mouth is aching now, and you let loose, pulling back to tongue the head, then suck him down to the root. He cries out, thrusting widely, fucking your mouth. You grab his skinny hips, the slim waist that you want to devour with your mouth and leave bite marks all over. You hold him there, even as he tries to thrust again. His hair is tickling your nose, the damp musky smell flooding your nostrils. You suck him hard again and again, pulling back and down, continuing to deep throat His hands fly to your hair, tugging at the strands, pushing you deeper, trying to set the pace. You slap them away; hold them against his hips so neither can move.
"Fuck.. fuck, where'd you learn this?"
You honestly don't know how the answer, "My brother," would go over. He'd either push you off, calling you a sick fuck or moan and arch and think it's the hottest thing ever. But Jesse seems somewhat conventional, present situation withstanding, so you say nothing, just moan around his length, cup his balls and suck every drop as he comes deep in your throat.
He's pulling you up before you've even finished swallowing, and then his lips are on yours and you're sharing his taste, grinding against his stomach until his hand reaches down and wraps around you. You push against him and pull away from his lips, burying your head against his neck. "Jess..�
"Yeah, baby.. god, you're hot."
You gasp and moan at that -- someone else saying those words -- someone who isn't Nick. You're not sure how it makes you feel emotionally; physically it makes you kiss him desperately, fiercely and shudder against him, coming in short, jerky spurts against his body.
You lay there, exhausted, arms loosely wrapped around one another. You're amazed at the way your body fits against his, same height and build.
It's a nice change. He kisses you, blue eyes smiling warmly down at you. A really nice change, you think, but not one you'd want exclusively.
You belong to someone else, but maybe, maybe you can belong here too.
[end]