Rhetorical Questions

How come the only people who see or are abducted by aliens are always people living in Hicksville that have a history of mental illness and the only people interested in their stories are The National Enquirer?

If terrorists are willing to be open enough to crash 747's in the Twin Towers then why can't "aliens" that have traveled all those light years grow some balls and pull an Independence Day?

If people cannot eat the food in and around Chernobyl due to the radiation in it then why do they send it to other people in different areas?

Why did the US elect the dumbest Yale graduate ever as president?  How did he pass Grammar School?  It's pretty obvious that he cannot read or write, spell or pronounce... Must be a Texan thing...

If people are products of their own environment than how come we put them all in prison and hope that they become "productive members of society" when they come out?

If homeless people get their food from our dumpsters why not ship our trash to all the third world countries?  It's pretty obvious that out hobos don't starve here in the states.

If you work for a non-profit organization how come you can be guaranteed a paycheck of minimum wage of higher salary every week or two?

If a doctor goes to college forever does this mean that they now have a right to charge $300 of a five minute consultation?

Why are puking, drooling, crying, vomiting babies so cute?

Why do cute babies grow up to be ugly people?

Why do they teach subjects in school that will never be applied anywhere outside that classroom?

Does the three strike rule apply to spitting on the sidewalk?

How come authors on books are so big that you can see them from a mile away, but you need a magnifying glass to read the title?

Why does the US Police the world when they can barely police themselves? IE: George W.'s daughter...

Why do we elect presidents that have family & personal problems instead of the nice little Religious family down the street that have never committed a sin in their lives?

Shouldn't it be a requirement for you to at LEAST speak English before we even think about giving someone a Green card?

If your born fat, die fat and live fat shouldn't fat be a race?

How come the Great American Novelists are always crazy?

How can it be stand-up comedy when all you do is stand on a stage and state the obvious?

If monkeys are so smart than how come they haven't evolved like the rest of man-kind or at least speak a language? (Sign Language doesn't even come close, or count)

What is so important about celebrities tossing the Goddamn coin at the Super bowl?  Why not the cancer patients that won't live for the next?

If God was real why won't he at least give the weathermen a clue about the day's weather?

Why do the sane get put in the Funny Farm while the truly insane get the privilege of roaming the streets?

Why do the people with the conspiracy theories always get ignored until it's too late?

Can people really feel safe when they pin the crime on the person that didn't do it any everyone knows it?

Why is so important about writing: so-and-so was here on the bathroom stall doors at the rest stop?

How come if it feels good it must be wrong?

How come people still can refer to others as "normal" when everybody already knows that there is no such thing?

How can it be a crime to kill or attempt to kill one's self?

If everything has already been done before how come it is always so shocking when it is repeated?

If everyone always wants to come to the US and the US is always in people business why can't they just take over and reform governments world wide?

Who decides what's a classic and what isn't?

There's people to help the dumb, but who help the smart?