Sir Sticky Jacob Snuffleupagahienzenburgen was born in the mid seventies in the state of Alabama, USA. Not much is known of his parents, but it is understood that his mother was a Burmian yak farmer and his father the very essence of pure evil itself. Those that knew him in his early life recall him as being 'a bit mad' and 'he liked to bite small animals'. Due to his misbehaviour and crimes against humanity, Sticky was even institutionalised from the ages 11-12, 13-15, 16 twice and then again at 17-20.
In 1999, Sticky started a campaign to systematically destroy the internet but gave up after a few days due to lack of financial support and a mild cramp in his right hand. The Queen knighted him on May 7 2000 for no apparent reason although it is believed by some to have been a conspiracy to silence him on allegations that the British Government was using him as a pawn in a top secret mission to replace US president George W Bush Jr with a talking animatronic robot powered by space alien technology and sponsored by a Mormon fundamentalist cult. These allegations however, have been denied by the British government and when Sticky himself was questioned he replied, 'What alligators?'.
Sticky has since then travelled the world and met many celebrities. He made his first million in early 2001 by suing Bill Gates for defamation of character after he was called 'sticky' by him on numerous occasions. Mr Gates defence for this was that he called him 'sticky' because that was his name. The courts however empathised with Sticky for having such a bad name and he won the case.
Sticky was even invited into the home of 'prince of pop' Michael Jackson on his Neverland ranch but was not invited back due to his insulting remarks about Michael's nose, his liking of prepubescent boys, and for leaving the seat up on the toilet on three separate occasions.
Sticky has to date published several motivational books, including; 'Monochromatic and Successful', 'Sticky's Two Step Guide to Race Walking', and 'Even the Badly Drawn Can Do It'. Sticky has also taught hundreds of celebrities his secrets to success and has started up the International Society for Dimensional Deficit Disorders (3D).
Today Sticky is residing in his hometown and has relaunched his campaign with new vigour and financial support as well as the ability to use his left hand more often when he types.
Scroll mouse over pictures for caption
