BE WARNED!
Be free tree, grow for me.
Today your branches sway, but tomorrow?
What of tomorrow when bedazzling height I see.
Be free tree, grow towards me.
With no axe or saw I believe
that would we leave your wood and leaves
alone, we will reside in harmony.
Shoot, up to the sky!
Go on, go! Do not be shy.
Years now since with my spade and a seed to sow,
you I made.
Be free tree, grow far above me.
Yesterday I laid under your shade,
then standing by you, I will be.
Inscrutable, abstruse, unnoticed, unseen.
What is this thing they call the spleen?
Does it digest? Or make blood clean?
What would it mean, being a spleen?
Is it shaped like a sausage? Or like a bean?
How would it feel, not haveing a spleen?
Is it just black? Or maybe browish-green?
And would colour matter to a spleen?
All this mystery is so obscene.
So many questions, so little spleen.
Today I danced around the sun.
Dug a hole in the sky.
Played baseball with the moon and won,
then ate a stardust pie.
I watched as a tornado swirled,
blowing around my head.
I would have flown around the world,
but I swam through it instead.
Today I travelled back in time,
and wrestled a dinosaur.
Later I saved a friendly mime,
who'd washed up on the shore.
I went fishing in heavens stream,
caught twelve angels in my net.
Today has been the greatest dream,
and I haven't woken yet!
Dearest Sue
I thought I knew you.
I went through your things last weekend.
Anyone could break into your house you know.
You should really fix that toilet window.
So your seeing some new.
I saw his letters hidden in your panty drawer.
Well this 'Steve' sounds like a bit of a weirdo.
Your underwear looked good on me though.
I know your secrets.
I know you don't really think I'm a psycho,
'cause I'm not.
I know you liked it when I slept in your closet that time.
I know you love me, not him.
And...
I know the restaining order was just your way of telling me that.
To Sidhu
This is a haiku
dedicated to Sidhu.
Navjot Sidhu. Who?
DON'T CLICK HERE
I'm sorry I killed your cat Mrs Samson. I didn't mean to.
How could I have seen her. She ran out so fast.
I didn't mean to back over her repeatedly after that either.
Well actually I did. But I had to!
It was the best thing for it. To put it out of it's misery.
I'm also sorry I shot your dog. That was another accident.
The gun was for protection. I always carry it around.
I thought it was a hairy midget murderer or something.
Down on all fours like that, at night! You know the type
Well actually, I knew it was a dog. But it looked mean!
Finally, I'm deeply sorry for brutally stabbing Mr Samson to death.
I was using that axe for wood chopping. It's my hobby.
It just kind of slipped repeatedly from my hands onto him.
Well, yeah, once again I actually did it on purpose.
Won't happen again. But oh well, I never liked him anyway.
Your's apologetically,
Anonymous Serial Killer [Sig]
