| Elliot
23 - Steve Francis (out of position everywhere) C+ Ade 24 - Stephon Marbury (pg) B Me 25- Mike Bibby (pg) D Will 26 - Peja Stojakovic (from forn parts) A- Phil 27 - Kirk Hinrich (Rhymes with Dirk) D Joe 28- Rashard Lewis (gf) B+ Dave 29- Ron Artest (sweetheart) A Peter 30- Ray Allen (guitar hero) A++ Justin 31- Chauncey Billups (pg) B Bret? (I don't know who this is) 32- Manu Ginobili (leaping lemur) B+ Howard 33- Dwight Howard (pf) C |
| After last season I developed a deep seated and possibly Oedipal hatred of Steve Francis. He turns over the ball too much. He has bad shoot nights. A lot. And he doesn't win games. Unfortunately, he's too talented to bench or limit, so he'll just be out there trying to Iverson in it up and losing games for Orlando. Before the season I thought this was a great pick. I thought "Marbury is probably the only solid lock at a position on the positional clusterfuck that is the New York Knicks." Little did I realize that Larry Brown can make the Pistons into NBA champs while turning the Knicks into a scoring winnebago on the highway of offense. Why. Why would I do this? It makes no sense. I had Ray Allen ranked in my top 10. Why would I choose a guy like Mike Bibby? Oh, that's right, I was looking at Yahoo's rankings for retards instead of my own. God I hate me. Peja rocks my socks. Great pick provided he doesn't get injured. Somebody (Dave) who may suffer from a brain disorder (girls), once told me in a totally serious fashion that Bruce Bowen was a better three point shooter. Maybe he uses crack too, I don't know. Phil recently confessed that he favors players he liked in college. That's the only way this pick makes sense because Hinrich's fg% is nauseating even if he does score a lot and get a lot of assists. Especially with Ray Allen still available. I will say though, Kirk n' Dirk would be a great name for a band. Rashard Lewis will never make defensive player of the year. Ever. Like even if everyone else died. But still, goddamn does he score and shoot threes. Solid pick, though I like Artest more. Artest is such a punchline, it's hard to even make fun of him. He's such a complete player, you have to draft him high regardless of suspension worries or rap aspirations. Dave somehow makes 3 solid first picks despite not showing up to the draft. I can't freaking believe Ray Allen dropped this far. The only thing that keeps me from slapping my forehead in a characteristic manner is the soothing Phish I'm listening to right now, and it's like a full week later. Peter has quietly assembled a backcourt which could probably defeat the Xmen in battle. Probably a significant beneficiary of the new coach thing in Detroit. Questionable fg% is mediated by funktastic free throw shooting. Solid pick. I heart Ginobili. Unfortunately, he's in San Antonio, so amazing as he is, he's gonna lose a little playing time to "the bench that would start for 3/4 of the teams in the NBA". This is more likely to keep him healthy the length of the season but still, Ginobili needs minutes to put up stats. Dwight Howard has three strikes against him: a) He's in Orlando and Francis would rather do everything himself b) his ft% sucks c) he's named Dwight. I like Bosh and ZI better. |