Do you remember the man who knocked on a neighbor's door and asked to borrow some instant coffee? A romance developed between those neighboring apartment dwellers. However, her ex-husband reentered her life. The plot thickened as they all continued to enjoy Taster's Choice instant coffee in 15- second commercials. Suddenly the advertisements ended. Did someone put curdled milk in their coffees and thus end the romancing?

      Do you remember the 3-lb. can of coffee that shrank to 2 lb. 2.5oz? Frankly, I think those missing ounces joined up with donut holes to provide quick nourishment for people who didn't have time to make a piece of toast at home but had time to stop in at a coffee/donut shop on the way to work.

      Does Juan, the coffee bean grower who promotes Colombian coffee, use Just For Men to dye his mustache? By this time he should have grayed a bit. Has he discovered the Fountain of Youth?

      Whatever happened to nice children in t.v. commercials? If that kid calls me "Silly" one more time trying to sell me Welch's grape juice, I shall tramp my own grapes. And I'm NOT 'Baby' to that nervy little girl who wants me to take whatever-it-is to avoid winter colds!

      Have combs gone out of style? Are we all to start wearing hair that looks like a fright wig? Do young men really think they look good with hair standing on end? Do women of all ages (i.e. Martha) think hiding one eye behind a lock of hair is appealing? And that constant hooking of hair behind one ear irritates me. Get a hair clip, girls!

      Speaking of hair, who ever told those young men that a little tuft of hair in the middle of their chins was attractive? Those mini beards look like Adolf Hitler mustaches gone south. Those pony tails make men look like the rear end of a horse. What happened to hair cuts, neat beards or clean-shaven faces?

      Are women's clothes all designed to fit flat-chested anorexic 12-year olds now? You'd think some company could manufacture attractive tents for those of us who no longer have our younger figures! And I am definitely not interested in seeing navels, underwear showing, or clothes riding so low on hips that disaster is just an inch away.

      I've adjusted to buying anything mechanical, electrical, or assembly-required objects being manufactured abroad but what has happened to instructions and user manuals being translated into understandable English? I'm not totally convinced that the people who draw diagrams showing me what goes where and when can even color within the lines.