POOCH SAYS

      I'd heard that all televisions were going to be passe` in 2008 or 2009 or sometime far away unless they were something called HDTV. Out with the old, in with the new. (No one had yet mentioned converter boxes for old analog TV's but that didn't apply to me because no one in her right mind would want to keep on watching a TV that had gone kaput.)

      My cherished old TV console, bless its heart, had seen its day. Oprah Winfrey doesn't have purple skin, despite what I was seeing on that worn-out television set! (She didn't look that way on my other sets.)

      Time to go shopping at Circuit City, 40 miles away. My guru, who doesn't trust my judgment, insisted on driving his van because he knew no television set was going to fit in the trunk of my car.

      I ended up with a monstrosity that destroyed the ambience of my formal living room. (So the dog sleeps on the davenport - big deal!) I had to settle for a set that would fit against a 36" wall space and that was a very limiting requirement.

      Then we must shop for something upon which to put the set! It did upset me to have to settle for a put-it-together set of pressed wood shelves and a door. I spent four hours assembling until I admitted defeat and called out for help! Guru to the rescue. (Oh, what friends that man and his wife are!)

      Nice picture, but the new TV was so high that it reflected windows and drapes in the day time. No problem. I had new drapes made (the old ones were shot, anyway) but the problem was not solved. Next I sprayed some anti-reflective stuff on that new TV screen - my bravery astonished even me - and that worked!

      New draperies called for repainting the living room. I could live with that. BUT, then the couch looked horrible! New upholstery was necessary, of course. Did the old carpet blend? Of course not! OMG, I'm going down for the fifth time.

      (After I'd chosen my tapestry upholstery fabric I went to Kmart. A purse on sale for $2.99 caught my eye and I examined it closely. A Made-in-China plastic purse with MY fabric design imprinted on it! When I complained to the upholsterer, he simply replied, "You, China, and Wal-Mart have good taste!")

      One cannot carpet or paint a room that leads into a hallway without including those areas, too, you know. Come to think of it, I'd have been money ahead if I'd enrolled in a 12-step program entitled "One Step Does NOT Have To Lead To Another!"

      It's fast approaching the witching hour of midnight, Feb. 17, 2009. However, my living room will be forever locked in 2006.