RED-LIGHT HOUSE !
Remember as teenagers when we learned what a 'red light' house was? Don't think any of us ever actually saw one so blatantly lit up, but we knew they were somewhere out there. A place sailors on leave or loveless men would frequent, we just knew. NOBODY in her right mind would put a red light bulb in a porch light or decorate with exclusively red lights at Christmas unless she had ulterior motives! (This IS interesting, though. Long ago, wives of sailors on long voyages from some Nordic country would turn a little teapot on the window sill a certain direction to indicate to those interested that they were 'lonely!' Today those ladies would use the internet to drum up companionship.)
The 'love' trade was legal in Nevada the last I heard, but I doubt that Nevada cornered the market on red lights. I know this for a fact. I took inventory of my house one dark night. By golly, I have a red-light house!
My mouse has a red light that glows all night. I have three TVs that exhibit the forbidden glow when they are not turned on. Even my DVD player wants into the action! My microwave, coffee pot, and three digital LED clocks beckon to me in bright red through the night. My answering machine blinks me a red 'you have a message' signal. My carbon monoxide detector almost shouts to me with a big red zero to tell me I am safe. I've never understood that blinking red anti-theft light on my car's dashboard but it sure has kept my car from being stolen in my locked garage. Hoping to prove myself respectable, I countered with this tabulation: A computer speaker shows a green light, as does my Lion's Alert box (well, it also has a constant red light, too.) My monitor emits a tiny yellow-green gleam way down at the bottom. The automatic night light on my refrigerator beams WHITE! My outdoor sensor detectors beam WHITE light! My automatic solar-powered yard lights are AMBER!
Don't fret, little mouse. I still love you best. When the dog bumps the computer desk in the night or a heavy truck rumbles by, you show your devotion by briefly emitting an even brighter red light. Are you related to a firefly, perchance? (The spare mouse in the closet isn't plugged in, so you are wasting your time and energy.) Red lights, green lights, and white lights light my path through the house at night and if there's a full moon shining through my sky lights, I'm really in business. Oh, I guess I could flip a light switch. Never thought of that!
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