POOCH SAYS

      Unless you are wise in the ways of the tame and the wild, you might not recall that animals claim their territories by 'marking' them (nice way of saying they pee on something.)

      You can buy fox urine, coyote urine, and wolf urine and imitate those creatures by doing a bit of judicious 'peeing' from a bottle or can if you want a territory marked, you know. (Do NOT, under and circumstances, take a whiff of the contents. STINKY!)

      Why would a human want to buy animal urine, you ask? Good question. Pick the animal you wish to discourage and buy the right kind of pure pee.

      Squirrels tease dogs. Squirrels are afraid of foxes. Voila! Judicious use of fox urine in the yard is guaranteed to keep squirrels away and so give the family dog a respite. (Will it work on chipmunks? I should think so.)

      I've never had a fox in my yard but don’t tell that blasted squirrel!

      I really don’t wish the creature ill; I just wish him away! I am determined to have the last laugh on that pesky squirrel that delights in irritating my dog. If all else fails, I know that fried squirrel tastes just like fried chicken!

      I once had an indoor cat that repeatedly 'marked' a television and a microwave. I think he enjoyed looking at the reflection of his butt in something shiny! PHEW! That was the last cat I ever owned because cat urine takes the finish off furniture and renders microwave dials unreadable.

      Copious amounts of urea (cow, I think) work great on melting ice in gutters and since it comes dried in large bags you don't have to worry about the smell. I won't mention what adventuresome little boys delight in doing in the winter. Just remember not to make snow ice cream from yellow snow.

      Oops! Gotta run. Nature calls.