NO, NO, NOT THAT!
Or What Not to Carry In A Car Trunk
(-Boot, For Brits)
The all-purpose car trunk is a handy thing to have around. You can go grocerying and shopping and hide away your purchases so would-be thieves aren't tempted to help themselves to your goods. However, some things do not travel well in car trunks.
Take big dog houses, for example! Trunk lids will not close on large dog housing so the lid must be left open, though firmly secured with a rope. However, the back draft (or something) enters the car interior between the steel roof and the passenger compartment ceiling cover. This causes the nice cloth ceiling cover to descend upon passengers' heads.
Try driving 150 miles at a reduced speed with ceiling fabric (the faster you go, the more it presses down on your head) resting on your head and you will experience a wide range of laughs and waves and gestures from passing motorists!
Unwanted, ugly, cumbersome, uncomfortable, handmade outdoor furniture? City dump, here we come! However, do not pick a mid Sunday morning for the trip because you will find out that everybody else is headed for church to renew a love for mankind.
When you come to the busy intersection of two national, 3-4 lane highways, turn s-l-o-w-l-y. If not, your crummy stuff will turn right when you turn left! It�s so embarrassing to direct traffic in your worst clothes and to discover that church-bound folks surely do need to get to their destinations!
Do not, under any circumstances, collect grass clippings and assorted doggie deposits on a warm summer day and put them in plastic bags. Your 'collection' will cook in the trunk unless you hurry to pitch the bags. Like Estee Lauder's 'Youth Dew', the smell is pervasive and overwhelming and you will gag for some days.
I would advise you to stay on good terms with your garbage collector. Garbage bags instinctively begin to leak in car trunks and leave puddles. A better solution is to gift wrap your garbage and leave it out by the road. It will be stolen during the night and your car trunk remains pristine. (I have a friend who does this and he guarantees that it never fails.)
However, the easiest way to avoid car trunk disasters is to put your crap in front of someone else�s house and let their hauler take it away for nothing!
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