No, I don't mean the morning after when you take a pill or down the hair of the dog that bit you. I'm referring to that great morning after Christmas when harried clerks are eager to accommodate your every wish.
Your first stop is to return the gift satin blouse since the ' celery stalk gone slimy' color just doesn't blend into your wardrobe. "Do you have a receipt?" No, of course not! "In that case, we can issue you only a credit or allow an exchange. Since that blouse is now on sale, we can only credit you with the sale price." Fine, at least we've moving in the right direction!
Let's try for an exchange. No luck. All that is left is a motley collection of strange garments designed to fit a 12-year old anorexic and, kiddo, that ain't me!
Clutching credit slip in hand, let's slip over to the CLEARANCE SALE area. (I find the term 'clearance sale' as amusing as the signs that say "Lots For Sale." Lots of what? I may buy a clearance some day just to see what one looks like.) But this IS a good chance to stock up on Chia Pets.
Every store must have dark recesses which are plumbed each Dec. 26th in an attempt to unload what nobody has wanted to purchase for the past 5-10-15 years. How else do you explain a counter full of men's argyle socks? Do many men wear smoking jackets these days? And who wants a rubber girdle? Hosiery that comes in two pieces? Give us a break!
Since I have old panty hose, I�ll settle for some Christmas wrapping paper. A roll in each leg, flop the waist over a closet rod, and Voila! Your storage problem is solved. (Works for extra wallpaper, too.)
Gotta run. I want to become an urban legend because I had a 100% successful day-after-Christmas
assault on the stores!