POOCH SAYS

      Do you recall those clever signs on the backs of travel trailers such as "Joe & Madge's Home On The Road," or "The Joneses On The Move?" What about those clever names for retirement cottages such as "Done Rovin" or "Home At Last?"

      Well, since I don't own a travel trailer and don't plan on moving into a little house at the lakeshore, I've decided to name my current abode. I shall go to the next county fair, find myself the man with the wood-burning kit, and buy a sign. Just look for me at the house named "Make Me An Offer!"

      I'm always leery of driving too closely to those cars filled with an adult and three teenagers. You know, the cars with the triangular sign stuck to the roof with a bold sign saying "Student Driver." (Frankly, I strongly suspect that the kids learned to drive long before they took the obligatory driving course, but that's beside the point.)

      As soon as I can find a sign painter and some strong magnets, I shall mount my own personalized sign. I figure people will give a little ole lady plenty of respect when they read MY sign. "I OWN THIS STREET" should keep those bumper-riders at bay and give me plenty of time at 15 mph to make it through the intersection on the yellow. (The light was green when I started, I swear.)

      My next dog will be a female with droopy eyes. A basset hound, perhaps? I shall name her 'Charlotte' so that when she is noisy, I can say, "Hush, Hush, Sweet Charlotte." Well, she will resemble Bette Davis and surely you will make the connection.

      (My previous dog was named Buddy and when he'd gallop to greet me, I'd say "Here's my Bud," and I don't even like beer.)

      Do you remember when, as a child, you bought a wallet at the dime store to hold your weekly allowance? (10 cents or a quarter?) You would examine each one closely to find just the right one. In the little cellophane window where adults would put a driver's license, there was a picture of a movie star.

      I loved Tyrone Power but I looked more like Doris Day (I was delusional) so that became MY identification! (No one was carded at age 10 in those days.)

  

     At this point in my life, I'm not exactly sure who I really am, but it's been a great trip so far and the best is yet to come. Keep tuned.