Flagellation
Webster tells us that to flagellate is to punish yourself, and in a hurtful way. I say that playing golf is self-inflicted punishment!
So you let down your bowling team? Hey, the others could have had a great night and you can all rejoice in the pub later.
So you lost the doubles match in tennis? Not your fault because your partner wasn't playing his best.
That last free throw went wild? You missed making a field goal? Not YOUR fault! The crowd�s cheering/booing threw you off.
Pitching horseshoes is a sissy game. One stands in the same place on level ground, pitches toward a target that never changes position, and there is no need for 14 different horseshoes.
Ah, but the joys golf must deliver! Grown men leap into the air, hoot and holler, and pump their arms with glee when they hear an unexpected �kerplunk.� Old boys will dine out for ages on their glory days.
Men no longer slay dragons or rescue damsels in distress. They prove their manhood by continually smacking an innocent little white ball until they send it to a watery grave, into the woods where gnomes hide, or Hallelujah! into a hole in the ground!
Golf makes no sense at all. Is it any wonder there are so many jokes about golf? Oh, I must run. My tee time has arrived!
|