In the spirit of the upcoming national holiday featuring the obligatory turkey, let's reminisce about some human 'turkeys' we have all met.

        Acquaintances that say, "Oh, stop by for a cup of coffee sometime" are big turkeys! I don't think they ever expect to hear you knocking on their doors. If they did, they'd give you a date and a time. Of course, we reply, "I sure will." That makes us gobblers, too, because we have no intention of darkening their doorsteps.

        "Let's do lunch sometime" falls into the same category. Would you really want to sit across a table from someone so vague? I think not!

        Turkeys seem to flock to garage sales, you must have noticed. Do not expect the person who fell in love with something at your junk sale and vowed to return with the cash to actually ever show up again. Take the first offer from someone else and consider yourself lucky to have sold that monstrosity.

        Have you ever lent something to a neighbor or relative and had it returned in unusable condition. Is it too hard to admit that the lawn mower (for example) no longer works and offer to have it repaired? Sure it is! If the borrower had been willing to pay to have something fixed, he’d have fixed his own lawn mower and wouldn’t have had to borrow yours in the first place. What turkeys!

        Have you ever waited patiently in the shopping mall parking lot for a car to back out of a space, only to have someone from the opposite direction whip into that coveted spot? Get some manners, you turkey!

        What about men who wear baseball caps while dining out, or worse yet, whip out a comb to slick down their hair in a restaurant? The lady who applies fresh lipstick at the table needs to retire to the ladies’ room to redo her makeup. Emily Post would have called them turkeys if she hadn't been so polite herself.

        Perpetually late people are irritating, to say the least! Everyone may be ready to eat at a gathering but ONE person is always late so we all wait, wait, wait. Plan on waiting until the food is cold before the group is complete. (I purposely omit doctors from this turkey behavior because I intend to have all my questions answered even if it makes him late for his next appointment!)

        After having complained about human turkeys at length, I invite you to join me at a real Thanksgiving dinner where we bow our heads and give thanks that we live in America with all our blessings and remember those who fought and those who sacrifice to insure that we may continue to do so.