Whoever invented parent-teacher conferences had never been a parent or a teacher! Such conferences can be a civilized form of the ancient Chinese water torture, condensed into fifteen-minute periods.
I remember one conference where the single father said not one word for 15 minutes, simply looked at the floor. I carried on by talking to myself until his time was up and I could bid him farewell. He turned around in the doorway and said, "You know, you tie your shoes incorrectly."
The man speaks! I showed him how I tied a knot, made two bunny ears, and finished by knotting the bunny ears. He was satisfied, then, that his son was getting a good education.
One mother blew into the room, seated herself, and we were off and running. After showing her examples of her child's work and giving her some to take home and advising her on ways she could help her youngster, she left without saying very much.
The next mother who entered apologized for being 15 minutes late. Oops! I'd talked to the wrong person about the wrong child for the previous 15 minutes. A hurried dash to the parking lot, exchange of paperwork, and a quick apology. That mother simply stood there and said, "I wondered why you were talking about someone else's kid." Duh! If she'd have come at the right time, she'd have gotten the right information.
Some parents used the conference time to talk about family problems. I could understand why some women wore sunglasses indoors but it was exceedingly difficult to try to look someone in the eyes who was wearing those silvery reflective glasses that totally hide their eyes and any expression in them.
It didn't happen to me, but one teacher had a very liberated mother who nursed her child during a conference without benefit of a cover to shield the activity. We all had the occasional male parent who over fortified himself before appearing.
We wasted our breaths explaining that children often do not behave at school as they do at home. Oh, Dr. Phil, we could have used you! Juvenile delinquents come from somewhere but every parent knew his or her child was never to blame for any misbehavior.
To the best of my knowledge, I have only one former student in prison locally for murder. Two have been murdered and I've lost count of the number incarcerated for burglary, habitual drunk driving, conversion, child abuse, and other assorted crimes.
Retirement is bliss!