BOSSY BINGO
Fall is in the air. The crops are being harvested. The 4-H young people are thinking of the upcoming school year. All of which mean that it's County Fair time!!
Our local county fair has the standard elephant ears, cotton candy, mouse game, dunk Bozo, rides, and hawkers with the latest handy-dandy tool to make life easier. The ladies vie for prizes in baking, handwork, flower arrangements and the men wait eagerly for the sulkie races. The demolition derby has its fans, too.!
The biggest crowd pleaser, however, is the famed Bossy Bingo. This game appeals to the big gamblers and the good sports.!
A cement floor in one of the cattle barns is ruled off in a grid and each square is numbered. This year the grid contained 257 squares . Gamblers contribute $10 and draw a number that corresponds to a space on the floor.!
Excitement mounts as a cow is brought into the building. Bossy has been roused from her rest in the adjacent cow barn and hurried to the bingo event. The farmer speeding her along has been careful to apply pressure on her rear end so that she cannot raise her tail.!
There is electricity in the air as the crowd watches Bossy look around, walk a bit to stretch her legs, and raise her tail. Where will Bossy deposit her dump! !
Plop! Splatter! A lone cheer and many groans rise in the air. The judges (one from the Republican tent, one from the Democratic tent at the fair) rush to the steaming pile on the floor. This is serious business. Bossy does not stay within the lines and careful measurements must be taken before a winner can be declared.!
The rules are rigid. Only the first plop is considered. The square with the largest amount of , of, of, ....... is the winner. However, splatter counts, too, so consolation money prizes can also be awarded.!
This year's winner took home $1,170! Splatter winners took home $30-$60, depending on Bossy's aim and the wind direction. The county Soil and Water Conservation District pocketed the remaining money and thanked Bossy for a hard day's work.!
And you thought we were not sophisticated out in the boondocks!
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