POOCH SAYS

       Boiler rooms come in all shapes, sizes, degrees of cleanliness, variety of uses, and are the best places to meet and have friends. Forget friends in "high places." A school boiler room is the place to get news first hand, first dibs on delivery of scarce items, and exchange complaints without 'big brother' listening.

       One of my first boiler room hideouts was the pits as far as comfort goes. However, the custodian was a grand old fellow and he always put a clean newspaper on his broken-down easy chair so I wouldn't get my clothes dirty! The chair was hidden under a landing and I was invisible to anyone opening the door above me. Talk about a 'hidey hole!'

       Maintenance men who make the rounds of different schools delivering intra-building mail and odds and ends and those who come to fix broken things are never in a hurry to complete their appointed rounds or tasks. They love to pass on the latest rumors and those who visit the administrative offices are welcome visitors in boiler rooms.

       My favorite boiler room was a dark, smoky place with an overhead door that opened to a view of the garbage dumpster. That notwithstanding, we frequenters fixed it up with a table, chairs, lamp, TV, 30-cup coffee pot, and pictures. We had so much fun in there that our laughter could be heard through the fire door.

       What did our principal do? He banned our coffee pot! Big deal. We filled our cups in the teachers' lounge and went back to the boiler room. Even non-smokers came to the boiler room because it was a fun place at recess or lunch time. We decorated for Christmas and kept a stash of rum balls in the decrepit refrigerator that had been removed from the cafeteria’s kitchen about 30 years previously.

       Alas, alack. The time arrived many years ago that smoking was not allowed inside school buildings. Standing by the garbage dumpster was no big ordeal except in warm weather. Honey bees sure do like garbage! Next, you were not allowed to smoke on school grounds, not even in your own car in the parking lot.

       I'll freely admit that smoking is a bad, filthy, expensive, and dangerous habit but the loss of companionship in that boiler room sure did make retiring a lot easier!

       There's nothing that can equal parring a hole, not even the best of boiler rooms. Meet me at the first tee?