It seems that everyone would like bright shiny teeth. I know I would! I've tried the professional abrasion and paint-on enameling, drug store strips, the paint-ons, the gargle, and the toothpastes guaranteed to make me look like I should be on TV! Ah, but the dentist and the commercials neglect to tell us that you must refrain from drinking coffee, tea, red wine, and smoking! Heaven only knows what blueberries would do. Just call me Mona Lisa when I smile 'cause you ain't a'gonna see MY teeth!

        Through the years I have amassed a large collection of fitness VHS tapes, ranging all the way from Jane Fonda to Dancing Grannies. They all begin with a gentle, easy (who are they kidding?) warmup. Let me tell you that if your Buns of Steel have turned to silly putty and the rest of your body has kept pace, you are NOT going to make it through the warmup. So much for a new image!

        40% better! Whatever the product, what are 'they' talking about? 40% better than a competing product? 40% better than original? If whatever it is is now 40% better, why didn't a better product get made in the first place?

        If buying real estate with no money down and reselling it at a mind-boggling profit is so easy, why do those who own that secret to success have to spend so much time, effort, and money huckstering their programs?

        I will admit to having become so enthralled with several t.v. hucksters that I've actually ordered a couple of marvelous, time-saving, never-fail, easy-to-operate products. Plug them in and voila! you are now a gourmet cook. However, do not be beguiled by the 'free' gems that are also included. They are free because nobody in his or her right mind would pay good money for such shoddy merchandise.

        I love those television and radio advertisements from car dealers and furniture stores that brag that all credit applications will be Iaccepted. However, if there was any small print it would probably say "We don't guarantee that your application will be approved but wasn't this a good way to get you into our place of business?"

        Am I cynical? Oh, no! In fact, I have a marvelous product for sale. Send me $200 and I'll put it in the mail to you.