Lori was my fifth child. Lori was also the smallest child I gave
birth to, she only weight 4lbs and 10ozs. Of course she lost the birth weight
and went down to 4lbs and 6ozs. So for over a week she had to stay at the hospital. My husband worked and we only had one car, so I had to wait all day before I could go to see her. That was not easy because I couldn't hold her, all I could to do was look through a glass window at my new baby girl. Finally when she was back to her birth weight, I got to bring her home. The weeks that followed were hell on wheels, her stomach was underdeveloped so I went through colic for over a month. I sat night after night rocking her and putting warm clothes on her tummy, but we made it through all of that. When she grew older there was measles, mumps, chicken pox, whooping cough and the removal of a birthmark on her face. Now this might may sound like miserable years to you, but today, I would gladly go back to that time in my life. Lori was never a large girl she only grew to be 4ft.10ins. tall and she was the only daughter in my family that could wear my size 4 1/2 shoes. But that small little body was full of mischief and she loved to laugh and have fun. She like music, art, crafts, fishing, hunting, gardening and playing pool, plus many more things. Her art work was fantastic, but most of all she loved her three children.
On Sept. 30th., 2001 my sister Netta came through my door, she had been crying very hard, at first I thought that something had happened to one of her sons, or her husband. She put her arms around me and told me in the only way that she could that my daughter Lori was died. I went immediately into shock and denial. That was impossible someone was playing a cruel joke on me.
Lori had moved to Iowa and I'm in WA. state so it took two months before I got the
autopsy report. Those two months were a living hell for me because of the circumstances of my daughter's death. As it turned out it was accidental. But due to the circumstances surrounding her death most of the family thought it was a suicide. The facts are quite clear. She had came home to her brothers house between the hours of 2a.m and 4a.m. she more than likely didn't want to wake anyone, so she decided to sleep in her car. She
had a sleeping bag in the back seat of her car and had slept in the car before.
It had turned very cold that night in Iowa. My son's garage is very old and has
large holes in the walls. Lori must of gotten cold and decided that if she opened the hatch back of the car that this would allow the air to circulate and she could warm up her car. What my daughter did not realize was that the exhaust is directly under the hatch back and that by opening it up the fumes would come into the car faster. The only saving grace to this story for me is that I know that my daughter didn't suffer and that she went very fast.
There are people in this large family of mine that will not believe that this was an accident. But I know in my heart that it was. Lori had talked to her daughter and was planning on coming home. She was very excited about her youngest son having a new baby that she had not seen yet and now he was in the army and they live just a couple of states away from Iowa. So she also had plans of going to see her new grand-daughter.
Lori was to full of life she was not in a depressed mood I had talked with her just a few weeks before this happened, besides Lori would of left a note.
All of this doesn't matter to me....All that matters is
I Lost My Precious Daughter
'Lorretta's Memorial' how it would affect my life today.
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sunlight on the ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn's rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight,
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there, I did not die.
Death is but crossing the worlds,
As friends do the sea;
We live in another still.
~Author Unknown~
A Snow White Dove.