Teen Date Night
I’m sure we can all relate to this one.
How many of you out there have go to the movies and by mistake gone on “Teen Date Night”? When I come to realize that I’m there on teen date night, I realize that I would have a much better time if I went home and put my nuts in a vise. I might have been a pain in the ass when I was a youngster, but these little kids today have balls. They feel that since they paid for their ticket just like me they can do whatever they want in the theater. Keep thinking that till someone like me gets pissed off enough to the point where they come down to you and kick the shit out of your prepubescent ass. First of all you have to deal with morons and their cell phones. If its not that, then its some “dickbag” that can’t shut the fuck up for two hours, or talk quiet enough so I cant hear him from six rows away. These things are bad enough, but these damn teens that feel the need to shout out stupid remarks and random noises makes my blood boil. Its to the point that the last time it happened I was ready to stick my napkins in my drink and get them nice and sloppy and hurl them down at those punks. My g/f defused that by telling me “it will only add to the situation”. Damn right it would have added to the situation, maybe then they would have learned to shut their damn mouths. I’m sure I would have received applause from the rest of the annoyed audience. I was so pissed that I pulled change out of my pocket to throw at them. Luckily enough for them, I didn’t have any pennies. The soggy napkin I could have spared, but I need all the change I can get my hands on. Movies are a tad bit expensive these days. For the money that I pay to see these movies, I shouldn’t have to deal with this type of shit. They make enough damn money, just pay someone to stand in the damn theater and monitor this shit. It’s not hard. Shit, pay me enough and I’ll do it for them. Grant me the ability to slap people upside the head and throw their asses out of there and I’ll be more than glad to do it. They’d either stop coming or learn to watch the move normally like the other 40-50 people there once they got bitch slapped across the face by me. No mercy when it comes to this shit. The only reason you need to yell out during a movie is if the person next to you is dying, and even that is up for debate.
So if you are one of these damn teens, be aware when you’re at the movies. If you get a soggy Mountain Dew soaked napkin slammed into the back of your head, just be thankful that someone didn’t have a handful of pennies.
* I need to thank my buddy and some of his associates over at Bridgewater State College for helping me name this piece. If they hadn't thought of teen date night it might have had some other stupid title. *