THIS IS A BOOK – THE BOOK SAYS ‘WOOF’

Domesticity Isn’t Pretty by Tim Barela ($19.95 CAN, Palliard Press c/o DreamHaven Books, 1309 Fourth Street S.E., Minneapolis, Minnesota, 55414-2029, USA, 1993, www.leonardandlarry.com)

As it happens, this was the one book in the three-volume series that my boyfriend does not have, since the copy they had in at the Toronto gay bookstore was slightly torn and he did not want to get it. I would like to say that was my main motivation in picking it up, but a secondary factor in my twisted mind was buying it at a nice little family comic shop in Ottawa, Ontario on a rainy day when I was feeling like freaking someone out. Sometimes I can be so immature…(sadly, they did not even blink).

It’s a collection of cartoons starring Leonard (a fashion photographer) and Larry (leather shop owner, Bear), who are a gay couple, with periodic appearances by Larry’s ex-wife and his children, Leonard’s central-casting Jewish mother, and various other folks. It is, despite its gay content, a rather family/domestic strip (in a good way).

Oh, just read and fall in love…I couldn’t really comment on the drawing style, being Mr. "Stick figure", but I think it’s quite well done.

 

 Bear Like Me by Jonathan Cohen (Haworth Press, 10 Alice Street, Binghamton, NY, 13904-1850, 2003, www.bearlikeme.com, www.haworthpress.com, $19.95 US soft/$34.95 US hard)

I read about this book on the Bear mailing list, courtesy of the author himself. It sounded like it could be intriguing from the title alone (presumably borrowed from the classic work of race relations/biography Black Like Me).

As someone who has always felt like a bit of an infiltrator (hence my interest in ANOTHER publication to be reviewed further on), the concept also drew me in. Authenticity as an identity marker intrigues and irritates me, having been told by numerous individuals that I am not gay because I do not like such-and-such, dress in a certain fashion or go gaga over any boy who thinks showing his ribs or lack of facially reflected testosterone is sexy, but I, nevertheless, feel there must be somewhere where I am not an outsider (if only in a community of exiles).

The back story is about a guy who loses his job at a slick queer mag (the spooky part is, I can picture someone launching a publication called Phag...and the image terrifies me...), and decides to write a piece about the bear community at the prompting of a friend, which leads to him undergoing ursinification (it's a word now, okay?)

Along the way, he meets Ben (who is not all that gentle, but definitely Bearish) and finds himself falling in love with someone the polar opposite of his partner (who becomes his ex in the course of the book). The story of their eventual coupledom is tender, funny and bonerizing.

It's an affectionate tribute to AND sendup of Beardom, with intrigue, gossip, cattiness (bearcattiness?) and useful subcultural signifier tips, concluding at a Bear Run combining slapstick and sinister conspiracy. And remember: "Bear is a state of mind. If you think you're a bear, you are one. At least until ten other bears get together and tear you to shreds." (p. 25)

I was sad to see the book's end (which I was reading on the way to a Bear event, its arrival at my local indie emporium well-timed), and hope to see more from the author in the future.

Two woofs up (someone bear-hug me to death before I do that again...you may volunteer for the act of homicide, Billy Mays...).

Bear Cookin’  by PJ Gray and Stanley Hunter (Haworth Press,  10 Alice Street, Binghamton, NY, 13904-1850, 2003, $12.95 US soft/$24.95 US hard, www.haworthpress.com, www.bearcookin.com)

Do you like a little fur with your food?

Hmmm...perhaps a bad hook line. Nevertheless, this book is full of recipes for the fat, furry and friendly fellas known (biblically, in some cases) as Bears.

This is not a book for vegetarians or many diabetics, however, of which there are more than a few in the woof-based community. Furthermore, should you be watching your waistline (or that of the twink to whom you are irrationally attracted and for whom an extra ounce is an erection-killer), you might also want to pause and reflect whether you are the intended audience.

However, this slim (eek) but well-padded (grin) volume is packed with recipes for just about everything, from Beef Stroganoff (*drool*) to Cub Salad, Fur-Ocious Pot Roast and (Squeal Like A) Piggy Mac (yes, Bear puns abound *grrrr*).

The serving suggestions for just about everything, including the Banana Milk Shake (though, to its credit, the book says 'perhaps not'), include Beer, which will also be dubious to we teetotallers or possible twelve-steppers...but no-one says you HAVE to follow the serving suggestions. Surely people like we Bears, at whose entrance buffet owners tremble, should know better than to blindly obey such restrictions. :)

So, you get recipes, adorable bear drawings, humour AND the secret to Beef Stroganoff (hey, for the latter alone I would sacrifice my virtue to Richard Karns...oh, heck, I'd probably have done that anyway, though... :) ).

More Bear Cookin’: Bigger and Better by PJ Gray (Harrington Park Press/Haworth Press, Inc., 10 Alice Street, Binghamton, NY, 13904-1580, 2005, $14.95 US, www.haworthpress.com, www.pjgray.com)

 The sequel to the lethally tasty first volume.  As  an eyebrow-arching colleague said of this one: ‘Is it SUPPOSED to make you fat?’   Yes, dear, it is…and the drawings will make the reader drool as much as the recipes could, which takes some doing.  Definitely not for diabetics – a nod or two to vegetables this time – but, prepared in moderation, as in all things, Nirvana (Furvana?) may be found.

The Bear Handbook, compiled by Ray Kampf (Southern Tier Editions / Harrington Park Press / Haworth Press, 10 Alice St., Binghamton, NY, 13904-1580, 2000, $12.95 soft/$34.95 hard, www.haworthpress.com)

I had to know if I was fitting in. All that individuality was bothering me. I was beginning to fear that I was developing an independent mind.

All these nagging questions and terrifying developments finally drove me to pick up this book.

Phew!! Now I know EXACTLY what to do to get my proper ‘woofs’.

Uh…HUH…

Oh, this book was a scream. Dyed-in-the-woof Bears who have very, er, firm concepts of Beardom should read this to get their sphincters relaxed (not that there aren’t any number of more EXCITING ways to do that, or so I’m told…). Bearoids like me can learn to bend our quotation marks enough to let a big fellow into them by learning some history and some affection for the Movement.

Everything you could ever want to know is in this handy, plaid-coloured-cover volume, from exercises (who HASN’T done the 501 squeeze? ‘I know I can fit into these jeans, as long as I don’t BREATHE while wearing them.’) to teddy bear taxonomy to beard categories. There are also ‘serious’ lists of resources, clubs, etc. available.

So if you are the sort who, when he hears ‘woof’, first thinks ‘FUCKBUDDY!’ and then thinks ‘dog’ (again, the two aren’t always separate…*that is NOT how I meant it*), this book has your name on it, grrrrlfriend.

One Thousand Beards by Allan Peterkin (Arsenal Pulp Press, 103-1014 Homer St, Vancouver, British Columbia, V68 2W9, CANADA, $16.95 US/$19.95 CAN, www.arsenalpulp.com)

I could hardly resist this, as I am finally growing my facefuzz in, after years of not being able to at my former job.

I’ve always wanted to, if only because I wanted to know if I had inherited the family curse of not being able to grow a beard (I’ve missed that one, though, sadly, the hair-reducing tendencies in a higher region have apparently been triggered at last).

Some of my fellow Bears have accused this volume of being silly, superficial and arrogant, and some have said the author strikes them that way as well.

Can’t speak to Peterkin’s character, as I do not know him. Some of the book IS a bit under-done or sloppy (Aubrey Beardsley was NOT gay, or so most sources claim). The chapter on the gay beard is sufficiently vague and shallow that there is some evidence for my colleagues’ claims the author is closeted or at least in conflict (I have no idea what his sexuality is).

The rest of the book , however, is entertaining, occasionally insightful and thoughtful. I mean, people, PLEASE! It is A CULTURAL HISTORY OF FACIAL HAIR – it is not a Marxist tome or a psychology textbook…it SHOULD be playful.

 I recommend it heartily for all the little (non)shavers out there. J

A Wind Across The Century by  R.G. Powers (probably obtainable from http://www.amazon.com and the like)

This gent plugged his book on the Bear Mailing List to which I belong. It not being a place on which literary works are often promoted, and the subject being intriguing, in addition to me having been separated from my sweetheart for some time, it seemed like an epic romance I could get into.

A glib summary of this novel might be "Bronte Sisters re-write Gone With The Wind (without a war), stir in some Maurice by E.M. Forster (with less respect for class) and Death In Venice by Thomas Mann (without the typhoid or underage boys, but with the death of a transgressor) and populate the book with breathtakingly handsome furry fellows." Actually, though, I have not read Gone With The Wind, and I am not that wild about Maurice (it seemed too patronizing) or Death In Venice (the opera is better than the book).

I did, however, enjoy A Wind Across The Century quite a bit. While it could have done with a bit more background on the characters, it is, ultimately, more about the idea of Love and following one’s desires when they conflict with what ‘society’ wants (I always found it puzzling when people said ‘society’ wants something, since, last time I checked, I was PART of that society – but I have also recently learned that I seem to be devastatingly anti-social in some people’s book, as I do not naturally assume that what the majority of people appear to want is correct…). It is very mannered and witty when the main characters, such as Edward Willoughby, the protagonist, and his wife Margaret interact with fellow aristocrats/middle-classers, and then quite earthy and erotic when Heath Radclyffe, the groundskeeper who becomes Edward’s lover, is introduced into the equation. In fact, the best quality of the novel is the romantic interaction between Edward and Heath, as it is very sensual without ever becoming mere pornography.

If I have one minor qualm (in addition to its being too short – I like my epic romances to strain the ability of my hand to support them J ), it is that Heath Radclyffe’s name is far too reminiscent of Heathcliff. I do not know whether it was intentional, but it smacked of cleverness. Otherwise, a very diverting and heartwarming read.

Ed. Ron Suresha, Bear Lust: Hot, Hairy, Heavy Fiction (Alyson, 2004, www.alyson.com, $15.95 US, www.suresha.com)

 Pornography.  Body Hair.  Big men.  There – the few nice twinks and prudes on my reading list have run screaming home to watch Longtime Companion, read Heather Has Two Mommies and guzzle down Nair.

 Let us look behind this curtain.  Are those the feet of Queer Eye For The Straight Guy? No? Let us begin by saying that, sometimes, Thor loves Hephaestus.  Yes – this does happen.

 Okay, so now that I’ve blasphemed A Room of One’s Own, let me get to the point.  I like written smut, and I don’t much care who knows it.  I especially like this book, be it the improbable mythological mating described above in Furr’s “Forged By Stalbjorn” or the alternately tender and raunchy “Balsam Poplar Buds”  by Jeff Mann (whose book Edge I also recommend for its interweaving of intellect and lust).  Of course, there is much much more from many different points of view and style.

 If your idea of a good time is sweaty rolling with furry fellas, then this is the book for you.  If it isn’t – well, put the book down.  I’m sure you have a razor around somewhere – shouldn’t you be shaving that one o’clock shadow of yours? J

Bearotica, ed. by Ron Suresha (Alyson Books, www.alyson.com , 2002, www.ronsuresha.com)

Well, it’s porn about bears (in at least one case, literally – no, not quite THAT way…), ranging from historical pieces to moving tales of differently-abled bear sex to sweet romantic stories to revenge/rape fantasies.

Very stimulating reading, though I did not find the cover model very titillating. Of course, as the person who whines about classical CDs with skinny hairless twinks on the cover to trick us fags into buying them, I may want to have my panda-shaped cake and eat it too… J

Bears on Bears, by Ron Jackson Suresha (Alyson, 2001, $22.50 CAN, www.alyson.com, www.suresha.com, www.bearsonbears.com )

It’s a series of interviews with Bears (gay furry men, to be brief – too brief, since this book discusses lesbears and transbears too (yay!!)), mostly done on-line, and covering just about every angle, be it culture/cross-culture, history, elitism, ‘bear space’, the ‘Net, controversies, and so on.

If you are a Bear, or know a Bear, or have a huge collection of Ursine plushies (just kidding, overly purist pandas out there J ), this is the volume for you, babe.

The Bear Book, ed. Les Wright  (Harrington Park Press, 1997, $29.95 US soft/$54.95 hard, www.haworthpress.com)

This is more academic than Bears on Bears, and has fewer woofy pictures in it (Harrington Park is an independent scholary imprint, and never has been known for huge quantities of photos in its volumes), but it is still philosophical, sexy, anecdotal and moving. Unlike Bears on Bears, it has some actual ‘creative’ writing (oh, you know what I mean – people waxing profound on their connections to nature, Bears, etc. – as opposed to the slightly more focused nature of a face-to-face/mouse-to-mouse affair…).

Again, sadly expensive, but, this time, ask that cute library assistant with the goatee and the little paunch if he can put in the word to think about getting this (and the Volume II that has recently emerged) in the next round of purchases.

A Bear’s Life, May 2006, ed. Steve Harris (Bear Brother’s Enterprise Ltd., 56 Lafayette Avenue, Suite 362, White Plains, NY, 10603, 914.684.6936, www.abearslifemag.com, info@abearslifemag.com)

I confess my bias, at the risk of having to turn in my buffet pass, plaid shirts and John Goodman ‘hanky’ – the bear mags I have seen in the past have not really been my style.

While I have always been pro-porn, I find a lot of visual smut (which many ursine publications are) to be dull and, well, a prime example of what Audre Lorde may have meant when she talked about the problems of dismantling the Master’s house with his tools.  In short, they seemed like the same sort of superficial, vaguely over-glossy stuff that never excited my brain (which, is, after all the organ where sexual attraction begins).  I might have occasionally seen an image that I found appealing, but I had to wade through a lot of muscularity and anti-intellectual slop to find it.  These depictions which were supposed to be sexy to me were making me feel like the one and only Playboy  I ever read did; to wit, alienated and even more inclined to be a lesbearian separatist. J

This magazine is different.  Without being too obnoxious about it, the magazine has a masculine  but fun approach which does not, for the most part, fall into the ‘I’m big and butch and I have no brain or heart’ cliché.    It is well designed, intelligent, full of helpful hints about food, health, travel, harlotry and music, and even has some pictorials which are both woofy and sexy without being blatant jerk-off material. 

There’s even some stuff on Broadway and wearing bikini briefs (in case you thought there was NOTHING here for the slightly nelly Bear ;) ).

Lovely stuff.  Looking forward to more issues.  Who knows – I might even take out a subscription (since I can’t find it in Kingston, so far)!?