IIIIIIIIIIIIIIDENTITY-UH
by Indie Cowboy
My Live Journal’s friends list is divided half and half of cubs/bears and my straight friends and tribemates. It's no secret that I'm a cub and that I'm with a handsome bear.

So I thought I'd meditate on this topic today.

Okay...my definition of a bear/cub: You gotta have some body hair. This is the main factor. Bulk figures in too. Most bears are stocky fellas. So easily compared to Teddy Bears because of their perceived Cuddle-ability. Cubs are a little less stocky, younger maybe. Traditionally the Bear/cub nomenclatures suggested that the Bear is the dominate/top while the cub is the subordinate/bottom. That is not true all the time. Many bears and cubs flow back and forth in sexual roles with fluidity.

Now you can add otters to the mix...skinny, hairy guys..or wolves...and so and so on.

But the main factor in this whole subculture is the presence of body hair.

Though there are bears/cubs out there who may not have much or any body hair yet sport facial hair and have the body type of the subculture.

Viva la diversity!

I have always known I was gay. Since I was young. The sensual details of men always caught my eye. I remember sitting on my dad's lap as a little kid and I found his bleached blond arm hair fascinating. (no it's NOT that creepy!) He had a buddy, this cock-sure cowboy named Jim, who just loved me and my sister. He'd take us out for Baskin Robbins and drives. He was so 70's Urban Cowboy. Horseshoe moustache, pearl button open shirt and levis on too tight. His pelt of chest hair was always something that caught my eye and ignited many sensations.

How we form sensual attachments? Being a bear/cub and the attraction to bears are maybe what psychologists call partialism. This is the erotic fixation on an area of the body. But there's more to it than that of you ask me. As with any sort of sensual turn-ons we may have there are layers and textures. The love for a bear/cub goes beyond partialism for a hairy chest or a beard or goatee. All the assorted factors of attractants that get mixed in.

There is a sense of super masculinity with Bears/cubs. And it might not be all that wrong. Beyond the *Woofs* and *Grrrs*, is testosterone. You need it to get body hair growing. Some studies say that guys like me with widows peaks and bald spots may have a lot...our kooky genetics and body chemistry decide to block scalp growth and channel it to the chest, abdomen and back. Those of you who have seen my bald spot know what's going on.

There is Bear culture. Lazy Bear, Bear Pride...tons of events for bears and cubs to meet and greet. There are bear and cub clubs all over the world. Set up to make a social system for the community. Descriptors of the culture could be friendly, open, nurturing, playful. (Course there's wrinkles here and there too…nothing is ever perfect).

But what I like most about bear/cub culture is that it lifts up that which conventional gay/straight society deems unattractive. Body hair, being over weight, being "not so pretty". Hairy, fat guys RULE in bear culture. It's a culture where your attractiveness is determined on that which a society that promotes very toned, sculpted and flawless bodies in glossy magazines derides. I have found bears and cubs to be very supportive. Like here on LJ...if someone is down or having a crappy day...there's lots of *bear hugs* for the guy. We circle the wagons readily and protect our own. I find watching the (PYG's/Pretty Young Gays) at my local gay watering hole is discouraging. The pettiness, drama, back-biting and gossip are pretty rife. (Though there are plenty of catty bears/cubs too). It's all about the clothes, the six packs abs, the flawless skin, the plucking and the fabulousness for those guys. While most bears are in their overalls or jeans, laughing WAY too loud with their buddies at the corner table and not paying attention to the catwalk drama.

Again generalities…and sweeping characterizations.

But I enjoy being a cub. I love having my bear. I like being a member of a community that celebrates the aspects of masculinity that magazines/tv/movies and stuff would have you believe need to be waxed and plucked and put on Atkins.

This is part of my identity. It's part of who I am.