Myrna Hanson Moss ----- "GROWING" YEARS AND PASSING TIME

Oh, m' gosh...50 years! You don't seriously expect me to remember 50 years of events! DO YOU?? There are two old sayings: (1) The first thing that goes is the mind. (Somehow that isn't as funny as it once was because my mother died of Alzheimer's). And (2) No brain, no pain. Well, at our age some pain is to be expected and since I feel it at times, I guess I must have at least a little (pea-size) brain left!

That said, I'll try to get serious, although I'm never too serious (life is too short). Happy is my motto! I'll try to dredge up some memories from long ago to the present and hope I don't bore anyone with an uneventful life.

After graduation I worked at the State Farmers Market for the Department of Agriculture & Markets of the State of Florida. Talk about feeling old! The place was tom down and now the blimp is kept there. Now I feel real ancient when I think of the equipment I used (it was considered modern then) - the teletype, a non- electric typewriter, stencil paper and mimeograph machine; no computer! I might add that I ruined more white blouses than I care to remember - that ink was terrible!

My intentions were to be come a nurse and I was accepted at Millard Fillmore Hospital in Buffalo, NY so I came north in May of 1957. Almost immediately I met the "man of my dreams" and got married (Nov. 1957) instead of going into nurses training, which would have started in Sept. Back then a married person was not accepted into nursing school - at least not in NY - and if you got married while in training, you got booted out. Oh well, as I tell anyone that asks, "I got all the nursing I could handle when I became the mother of five children as well as being a partner with my husband on a dairy farm." Anyone that's a mother knows that kids often have broken bones, cuts-even some that need stitches, bruises, sicknesses such as flu & colds, etc. And for those that don't know...cows are sometimes worse that kids! I'll touch on the subject of dairy farming later. I believe I could write an entire book on taking care of sick animals!

I was married at 19, a mother at 19. I couldn't cook and didn't own a cookbook. Thank God for a wonderful mother-in-law and sister-in-law living close-by that were willing to share information via phone and an aunt that allowed me to borrow a cookbook. I'm also very fortunate for an understanding husband and I guess it's lucky he had an "iron - stomach"! (I did learn how to cook and became one of the best pie bakers around.)

Before we married, I worked at J.N. Adam TB Hospital as an aide. I had been hired as a 3-month "temp." because they knew when I was hired that I planned to go into nursing so my job was "posted" and filled before the 3 months were over. Within a week of leaving there, I went to work as a Secretary at Peter Cooper Corporation. I stayed there until I was six months pregnant. Following the birth of my first child I was a "stay-at-home mom" until my youngest was in high school. Although I was at home, that didn't mean I had no "job". My husband, Bill, had a full-time job at Moench Tanning Co. (a subsidiary of the Brown Shoe Co.) and was also a "hobby farmer". At the time we bought the farm there were no useable milking buildings and only five acres of work land. We used an old tractor and log chain to pull trees from what would later become work land and in 1962 we built a new barn. Bill's hobby became a full-fledged farming adventure and I told him he either had to sell part of the cows or quit his tannery job because neither of us could keep up with all the work. He would milk cows before going to his tannery job and then worked long hours after coming home but during the day there was always a lot of work to be done too. In April of 1966, we had enough cows to make a living (barely) on the farm. In 1968 we managed to buy a brand new tractor - on credit, of course. We started with a herd of many breeds but worked our way up to a herd of all Registered Ayrshires. During this period of time I became editor of the NYS Ayrshire Club Newsletter (every breeder of Ayrshire cattle within the state received one). In addition to that, I wrote monthly articles for the Ayrshire Digest - a national magazine published for breeders of Ayrshires. These were time demanding, non-paying, jobs which I loved. Thanks to Mrs. Webb's journalism class and Miss Lenz's typing class, I was able to do a decent job - at least, many people complimented me. (Maybe they lie a lot. Wonder if their nose grows like Pinocchio's.) It was also during these farming years that I found out what hard work is. And I found out how to give shots to cows, treat mastitis, clean hooves, fish apples out of a cow's throat, run tubes down into their stomach to relieve gas, help deliver calves, etc. Talk about nursing! We were poor as church mice and we didn't get rich farming. Some of the other farmers in this area used to laugh at us and one person said, "Even the crows have to pack a lunch when they fly over your farm". I suppose our "poverty-hill" farm life would not be appealing to most people but it was extremely rewarding to us. During these years, the only other off farm jobs I had were picking grapes in the fall and tying grapes in the spring. This added income helped pay property and school tax; sometimes it bought a new carpet or chair. We didn't go broke, managed to put five kids through school and never went without necessities.

In 1984, I went back to work at the J.N. Adam Hospital (which had become an institution for the mentally handicapped). This time I worked in the kitchen and again, I worked as a "temp" because I had applied for a job in the school cafeteria where our youngest was attending and the other four had graduated from. I hoped to be hired there, even though I knew chances were slim with only three openings and over 100 applicants. Some folks called me crazy because when called, I accepted, knowing it meant a cut in pay, less hours and no paid insurance (which I had at the hosp.). In my eyes it was a blessing, You see, I had been at home when the other kids were growing up and I wanted to "be there" for our youngest. Working at the school meant I would be home whenever she was home and the working hours allowed me to leave after she was on the bus and be home before she got home. Perfect! There's another saying: "Money doesn't always buy happiness"! And I was happy!! Just call me a professional wife and mother.

The work was hard and the hours long but owning and operating a farm allowed us time for our kids and all the neighborhood kids too. We (Bill & I) played baseball, kickball and other games with all of them. Our place became known as "kids corner". On New Year's Eve we stayed home and had a party for our kids, their friends and the neighbor's kids while other parents went out. As our family grew older they showed animals in 4-H at the county fair and made friends with kids from farther away. Guess what! Our home became the "place of choice" for their corn roasts, hangouts, pick-up games of ball, etc. Then the kids started going away to college and they brought home "strays". You know... the kids that lived too far away to go home on a weekend. Our rules were simple...I show you where things are then it's up to you to wait on yourself and we don't give up our bed! Do we regret having kids around all the time? No. Do we regret not having a lot of money? Not at all. In fact, we feel very lucky to have been a part of the lives of many young people. Even today some of those that hung-out at our place stop in to see us and tell us how much they enjoyed being part of our family!

As for my five children, I have three boys and two girls - first two (both boys) were two years apart, then I had my first "oops". This was a girl just 13 months after the 2nd boy. Well, maybe not the way we would have liked but we were happy to have a girl, Then 4 1/2 years later another "oops" came along (a boy). We were now positive there would be no more when - oh, oh - 5 1/2 years later, in March 1971, we had our third and final "oops". Talk about "planned parenthood!" It wasn't that we didn't want more than two children - just not in the time frame they arrived. I guess God's plan was different than ours. There were some financially tough times but we loved them all. One of my uncles used to tell us, "You're not rich, you're wealthy. You have five happy, healthy kids even if you don't have much money." And my grandmother, after the 4th child was born, said, "Vel, you yust add a little more vater to da soop." (She was Swedish and spoke with an accent.) In-addition-to-our 5 children, we have 9 grandchildren & one step-grandchild. Our step-grandson works in construction and our oldest grandson is going to Cornell University this fall. All the other grandchildren are in school.

As was common for our age group, both Bill and I smoked. Nasty habit! In 1987 we both decided to quit. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done. There were times we even wanted to kill each other! Although we never hit each other, it seems like there were a lot of shouting matches! I'm glad we both quit but I'm a bit disturbed that Bill only gained two pounds (then lost it) while I gained 12# in six weeks - threw out the scale - and kept on gaining. I'm now 40# heavier than I was in school but think I've finally reached a plateau!

When our oldest son got married in 1985, we leased the dairy farm to him and in 1992 we sold it to him. Although Bill was "officially retired" from farming, he still worked on the farm every day, and does yet today (no pay, just enjoyment). You can't walk away from a farm - it's in the blood. I retired in 1994 after 10 years working in the high school cafeteria. I loved my job and most of the students I served but Bill decided to "give up" farming (ha!) and I decided it was time for me to quit.

The first couple years of marriage we rented a one-bedroom bungalow in the quaint little village of Perrysburg, NY - about 5 miles from where we now live. The small house was sold so we moved into the big farmhouse where Bill had been born and where his mother (a widow) still lived. She moved into the upstairs and let us have the downstairs. When his mother died, he and his sister inherited the place so we bought out his sister. Because I mentioned our farming venture earlier I'll skip over those years. When we sold the farm to our son we retained 3 acres of land where we had built a small log cabin. For two years we lived in a trailer and in July 1987 we moved into the tog cabin, where we still reside. It's small because I designed it that way - only 20' X 36' (about the size of many family rooms). I jokingly tell people that the kids have left the nest and there's no room for them to come back. The truth is, I hate to clean house so the smaller the better. The "kitchen police" haven't come after me yet and I'd not win any "good housekeeping seal of approval" but our place is comfortable and livable.

People have said for years that when you retire you're busier than ever before so don't retire! I now understand what that means. Bill is a director for our rural electric cooperative and because of that we travel quite a lot. I am glad because it is the only time my "workaholic" husband does not provide free labor at the farm. It is also good for me because it's the only time I'm not involved in a lot of volunteer jobs. As a matter of fact, one of my daughters bought me a shirt that says: STOP ME BEFORE I VOLUNTEER AGAIN. We are both active in many church activities. I deliver meals on wheels every Monday, am on the board of directors for LOVE In The NAME Of CHRIST, work at two historical museums, help at Red Cross blood drives, transport people to hospital & doctor appointments, keep cemetery records and work on genealogy. Sure keeps me busy and out of trouble!

I'm not going to try to convince anyone that everyday of these 50 years have been blissfully happy - that would be a lie so big my hose would be even longer than Pinocchio's! Along the way there have been a few heartaches, a few times when I wondered if divorce would be easier than marriage, days when it seemed it would be easier to "throw in the towel" than to go on living. However, love and faith always outweighed any problems or illnesses that came along. Because I don't dwell on the "bad times" I won't give you details on those days of our lives. We have both been blessed with good health and are fortunate to be able to do most things we like to do. In Nov. 2005 we will celebrate our 48th wedding anniversary.