Final Score: Not really a score to keep, but if one must know, it was 1-0 for the greens.
Game Rating (out of 10): -9,334 - more time was spent climbing that stupid looking web thing than actually playing fooba.
Offensive Player of the Game: Alex J. Despite claiming that he was like batman except without the bat (or the man, added sumscraptiously by Robward of Yore), he did manage the only touchdown of the game. He did look as confused as a purple eagle when he did catch the ball, but he managed to scramble like his eggs were on fire when he did get it. For some unknown reason, he did manage to slide into third base safely, as if he confused sports.
Defensive Player of the Game: Robbie. Robbie smells like Dash's underpants after he has played 3 hours of water foozball. Seriously though, he did manage to swap at the ball, or was that him trying to unsuccessfully to swat away his previous fart.
Special Teams Player of the Game: Patrick. He too smells, but this time like a whales cropspot. Patrick managed to um, I don't know, kinda run to the ocean over there.
Pitch and Weather: Unfortunately for the five fooba players, the actual Fern Avenue Field was closed due to daycare monkeys. Monkeys from the daycare refused to wilter away the filter that is the toon of Nootch. Snoochy boochies anyone, trey you are such a stupid hack, piss off I already paid u the twenty bucks, Hick. Sorry, lost track there for a moment. The FFL players were forced to play on the third alternate field the FFL has to offer. The dusty field, also known as Dusty McMann Stadium..the eighth wonder of Fern, was just so bad. Seriously, it looked like the Sahara desert, all wilted away and filtered like that Snoochy Boochy Hick. Anyway, yah, really freakin' bad. Someone, anyone, heard of watering over there. Stupid K should take notice of that hunk of crap. If the main FFL field has too much water, what then does Dusty McMann field have? Much enough? Weather was delightedly beautiful, like a snails horns stuck in a molasses of trains.
Summary: Game lasted 7 minutes. Patrick is time keeper McGeee.
- Robbie and Patrick divided teams into themselves thrice.
- Somewhere a whale farted.
- Maciej threw to Alex J., who bamboozled his way like a yak across the plains of Abraham.
- There he slid like a man who had just bamboozled his way across the plains of Abraham.
- Matthew S. climbed the web thing.
- No further plays were done. Patrick looked angry. Robbie looked fangorious. Jango Fett smiled and nodded, whilst shooting three people in the pelvis.
Bogus Moment of the Day - The whole game was bogus. But if one had to choose, it would have to be Alex J's fantastic bamboozle.
Player Ratings (out of 10, 4 being the lowest):
Alex J.- 9; Sometimes he looks like a fish out of water. At times, he looks like someone who has nothing to offer the FFL outside of a grin and shake of the chin. But today, with his bamboozling run, he managed to show that when he wants, he can bamboozle like anyone who has ever bamboozled in the FFL. That'll do bamboozle. That'll do.
Matt S.- 8; What can I say about Matt, the friend of the bamboozler. He caught a ball. He did better than most of the rest of the FFL. He climbed the web with ease. He also managed to open his mouth wide enough to attract three types of blinging bees.
Robbie - 8; He looks like Dash from the Incredibles. Has anyone else noticed this? Seriously, has anyone else? Anyone noticed this has? He screwed up on the play that scored, but his constant fangorious ways have gellatinously devoured three kids and forty school buses. You can do it!
Patrick - 8; Despite having a name related to that of Padraig, the Irish accountant with the heart of gold, he is quite the opposite. He looks sexy, he smells like not so much but well okay that might be alright sometimes if you are that kind of smell. Poison means poison in English, but in French, fish.
Maciej - 8; Yeah baby he's got it! Nope, it's not chinful scratches, rather the opposite of that. That being said, he does throw quite well with an arm of the right. Arm of the left is reserved for scratching and pointing at a variety of cupped cakes. Spiral there be for a bit, but not long.
