Title: Weirdly ever after

E-mail: [email protected], Feedback is friend to all children

Author’s Notes: Loquacious disclaimers available in Chapter I, pt. i. This is more or less where I thought the story would end, but an evil fairy set down a plot in my head.

Chapter I: Love in the Time of Dodgeball
Pt. iii of iii in this chapter, this one's NC-17 for explicit sex. Shoo, youngsters

Jack’s headlights swung around the corner illuminating his empty driveway.

“Shit,” he whispered. “No show.” His heart sank as he pulled up in front of the garage and he rested his head on the wheel. Just then, he thought he heard a car approaching. His head swiveled over his shoulder and just made out the twin points of headlights in the distance.

“Sweet!” He whistled, swinging his legs through the driver’s side door and dragging his overly heavy bags behind him. He sprinted up the steps and fumbled the front lock open. Dropping his keys in a dish on a table in the entry way and kicking the front door shut behind him, he wrestled off his jacket, tossing it on to a chair as he swept around the corner and up the stairs to the bedroom.

Jack dumped the contents of the pharmacy bags on the bed, wincing briefly at the garish, creamy mess that had once been a package of raspberry zingers. Pawing his way madly through the pile of merchandise, he located is target at last. He shoved an assortment of small, black packages into the drawer of the nightstand and began stuffing the rest of the items back in the plastic bags, shaking his head over the sheer randomness of the assortment.

“You’re an idiot, O’Neill, you know that?” He muttered under his breath as he heard a tentative knock at the front door. He dropped the bags on the floor and kicked them half under the bed. He whirled toward the door, then back to the bed in rapid succession. He bent and smoothed the covers, pulling the comforter taut again.

“Coming!” Jack yelled and started for the bedroom door again at a jog. Realizing he was completely out of breath, more from nerves than his mad dash around the house, he forced himself to pause. As he heard the front door creak open, he shoved his hands into his pockets and began making his way down the hall with studied nonchalance. Perplexed by the sounds of rustling plastic from the entryway, he quickened his pace.

“Sam?” He called just as he ducked his head under the low overhang at the top of the stairs.

Sam flung open the front door and fired with deadly accuracy as the first glint of silver appeared at the top of the stairs. Jack’s surprise at the large, red ball sailing directly at him barely had time to register before the missile hit its mark. It hit the side of O’Neill’s face with a satisfying smack before bouncing once off the newel post at the end of the railing, then directly back into Sam’s arms.

“Out!” She crowed triumphantly, stepping fully into the hallway and tucking the ball against her hip with one arm.

Jack shook his head hard once and continued down the stairs wordlessly, his eyes fixed on Sam’s laughing face. She made a futile attempt to sober herself as he neared, dropping the ball as she eventually dissolved into a giggling fit.

Jack continued to advance on her, abruptly moving to block her against the door. He placed his right palm flat on the door just above her shoulder and leaned into it, using his weight close it. His left hand slid behind Sam to curl around the small of her back.

Sam stuttered back a step suddenly grateful for the support of the door’s solid surface behind her. Jack slid his right hand behind her neck, cupping the base of her skull and tilting her face upward. “You,” he said, his voice low and dangerous, “Are a dead woman.”

Sam raised her lips to his, winding her arms around his neck, “I die satisfied,” she whispered with a throaty laugh as he pressed brief kisses to her cheeks, her nose, the corners of her mouth.

“You think so?” Jack murmured lazily, watching her eyelids drop closed as his hand splayed out to travel down the bare skin of her back.

“Hmmmm?” Sam sighed, rolling her shoulders back and, exposing her neck as she arched closer to his hand.

He chuckled as he bent close to her ear, “Something about satisfaction . . . ” he whispered, gratified by her inarticulate gasp as the light stubble on his cheek rasped pleasantly against the soft skin just under her jaw.

Jack nipped at her neck. His hand lingered at the small of her back, fingers just barely brushing her skin, to send delicious shivers all the way up to her scalp and back down again to fingertips that clutched more tightly at his neck.

Jack settled both hands at the base of her spine, just above where the fabric of her low-backed dress began. One finger brushed against the metal tab of the zipper, startling him momentarily.

Whoa too fast! He cautioned himself, yanking his fingers well clear of the dress’s fabric. Sam made an impatient noise in the back of her throat, lolling her head further to the side to press more closely to the lips that had stilled on her neck. Or . . . not. He grinned, flicking his tongue over her ear lobe and risking a firmer bite just below it.

Sam moaned her approval, twisting her head forward to mimic his actions.

“Evil!” Jack gasped, unaware he’d spoken aloud until he felt her laughter against him.

“Evil,” She agreed, dipping her tongue delicately behind his ear, “Dead. That’s me”

“And satisfied,” Jack whispered, leaving her neck to make his way back to her mouth, “Don’t forget satisfied.”

He kissed her lips softly as his hands began kneading the skin of her lower back. Sam’s mouth opened beneath his in surprised pleasure as his thumbs found the tension born of an evening in heels and massaged it away.

Wholeheartedly approving of the enthusiasm of her reaction, Jack’s hands worked their way slowly up her spine, stroking the skin over her vertebrae gently before firmly setting to work on the muscles on either side.

Sam twisted one hand into his hair, shifting her hips forward to give his hands better purchase. Until then, Jack had struggled to maintain a leisurely pace, not wanting to rush and bring the evening crashing down around his ears. The sudden press of her hip against his groin was too much. He abruptly pulled away from her, blinking rapidly.

“Sam?” He managed to choke out. Sam’s eyes fluttered open, her lips settling in an irresistible pout as she looked up at him, her hands reaching out to pull him back to her.

With a desperate whimper, Jack’s arms went roughly around her, his mouth insistently covering hers, coaxing it open. He spun them away from the door and backed her slowly into the living room. Supporting her back with one hand, he urged her backward until her hips pressed into the back of the couch.

One hand traveled up her back to sink into her hair pressing her mouth even closer to his, as the other dipped to toy with the slit of her dress. He bent, resting his hand on her knee and slowly sliding upward, pushing the fabric of her dress ahead of him. As he reached the lace-covered skin at the top of her stocking, she arched her hips forward against him.

Gasping, Jack pressed his face to her shoulder, his fingers tangling in the thin strap of her dress and raking it aside to bare the top of her breast to his mouth. His fingers danced along the border between flesh and fabric, occasionally dipping below to tease her skin with the backs of his nails Alternating among teeth, lips, and tongue, his mouth roamed to the inside of her breast. He paused, his lips hovering a breath above her skin.

“Jack!” Sam whispered breathlessly. She pressed her hand to the back of his head, leaning back to press closer to his mouth.

With a groan Jack sucked her skin into his mouth, applying light pressure with his teeth. Pulling his head back slightly and resting it against her opposite shoulder, he looked on the mark with savage pleasure. Mine. He thought fiercely, his fingertips roughly tracing the mark he’d left, then circling outward, pushing further under the fabric of her dress.

Sam suddenly pushed against him, untangling his hands from her clothing. Dropping his hands, she held up a single finger, motioning for him to wait, and stepped lightly around him, straightening her dress and moving toward the door.

She paused at the door, pressing one palm against it for support. Gracefully, she balanced on one foot, bending the other knee behind her and reaching down to undo the ankle strap of her shoe. She stepped out of it, shifted her weight on to the other foot and repeated the process. Leaning down, she grabbed both shoes and lined them neatly up next to a variety of Jack’s shoes on a mat beside the door.

Turning back toward him with a sultry smile, she advanced on him. A step away from where he leaned on the back of the couch, she stopped and whirled around, leaving her back to him, and glancing over her shoulder, she quirked an eyebrow, “Little help?”

Jack’s arms crept around her waist and he pulled her tightly to him. Holding her in place, he ran his hand over the curve of her hip and slowly up the side of her body, then across her abdomen and along the length of her other side, roaming freely as if searching for hidden fasteners.

Sam squirmed against him impatiently and Jack tightened the arm around her waist to still her---a move that very nearly backfired spectacularly as her ass writhed against his groin. A strangled cry escaped his throat, eliciting a small, smug laugh from Sam.

EVIL! Jack reminded himself, miraculously regaining his focus courtesy of his mile-wide competitive streak.

His hand had stilled in its travels midway across her waist. He brought it suddenly up to her shoulder, his hand just skimming the surface of the material. The heel of his palm brushed over her nipple as his fingers pulled her strap down her arm. She gasped and arched upward, trying to prolong the contact. Jack obliged, alternating between dragging his fingers in a lazy circle over the fabric and sliding inside the cup of her bra splaying his hand over her breast, and pinching the nipple lightly between his fingers.

Sam’s head lolled against his chest as he hand snaked the other strap, tugging more impatiently as it refused to give, the little slack available in the neckline having been taken up as the opposite strap had traveled further and further down her arm. She managed a ragged laugh in response, ‘You know, it’s got a zipper,” She chided.

“Really?” Jack asked absently as his left hand abandoned its current target and headed downward. With his right, he continued to toy with her breast as he urged her sideways, running his hand down the bare skin of her back, skipping over the zipper, and continuing horizontally over her hips. Roaming downward, his hand found the hem of her dress again and dove beneath it to tease the backs of her thighs just above the stockings.

“Jack,” Sam groaned impatiently.

“Say please,” He breathed against her neck as his fingers slipped lightly below the lace of her stocking top just at the inside of her thigh.

“Dream on,” She snorted, half convincingly.

Jack laughed appreciatively, kissing her neck soundly. Pushing her slightly away from him, he stepped behind her and gently tugged the zipper down. Sliding both hands up her sides, he reached her shoulders and worked his way around to the front, thumbing the straps down her arms and over each wrist. The dress pooled on her hips, leaving her stomach and shoulders bare and her breasts covered only by a black, long-line strapless bra.

His hands dipped to her waist, enjoying the way the curve of her hips fit to his palms. He ran one hand over the plane of her stomach and upward to trail a finger along just under the band of her bra. Bringing his other hand up to join it, he cupped a breast in each hand for a moment, squeezing lightly. Abandoning them with reluctance, he moved to her shoulders, turning her to face him.

Sam raised her arms to his shoulders as he reached to tug the fabric of her dress down over her hips. He caught one strap as the dress floated to her ankles, looking studiously at the ground as he offered his hand to help her step out of it. Buying a minute to compose himself before his first real-time experience of 90-percent-naked Carter, he made a point of gathering up the dress, shaking it out and turning to drape it safely over the sofa back.

For a crazy moment, he wondered if now might be a good time to start doing times tables or something equally boring in his head. The realization that math made him think of Sam, rendering even times tables a bit too stimulating, crowded quickly in on that idea. Resigned to a potentially embarrassing fate, he turned to face her and nearly burst out laughing.

Jack had already gotten a tantalizing peek at the lacy stockings and the full effect of Sam’s long, muscular legs in them was everything that had promised. Likewise, the strapless bra was a miracle of engineering, not only responsible for the cleavage he’d been enjoying all evening, but also pleasantly sheer in the right places. In between was a pair of rainbow-striped, high-cut cotton briefs.

Jack’s eyes danced with desire and laughter as they traveled upward from her lace-covered toes, taking in the whole, incongruous picture. Sam had a stormy look on her face as she pulled back from him, planting her fists on her hips. “I wear a thong for no man,” she warned, lifting her chin defiantly.

Jack folded her into a fierce hug. “You go, girl,” He whispered fondly into her hair.

Sam smiled into his shirtfront, her hands sneaking up to work open the tie he still wore loosely knotted around his neck. She yanked the loose end of the tie hard, freeing the whole thing from under the collar of his shirt with a menacing snap, meeting his eyes with a dangerous look.

Jack gulped and grabbed her hips, walking backwards toward the stairs and pulling her along with him as she moved on to the buttons of his shirt with ferocious dexterity. By the time they reached the bottom of the stairs, she was yanking his shirttails free of his waistband and impatiently pushing the fabric free of his shoulders.

He made a move as if to turn away from her to tackle the stairs when Sam suddenly lunged at him, pinning his shoulders against the wall with a strength that, in retrospect, shouldn’t have surprised him. Her fingernails raked over his shoulders as her teeth found the sensitive skin under his jaw and repaid him in kind for his earlier treatment.

Jack’s low moans escalated into a sharp cry as her mouth suddenly dove to his chest, scraping her blunt teeth over one nipple, then the other. She raised her face for a moment to enjoy his shocked expression, “Didn’t know they did that, did ya?” She asked with a self-satisfied grin.

He shook his head weakly and closed his eyes. Although he could have happily died right there at the foot of the stairs, Jack summoned willpower from somewhere and pushed off from the wall. Kissing her roughly, he yanked her by the hand. “Upstairs, now,” he whispered hoarsely.

They stumbled back together at the top of the stairs, hands, lips, tongues, and teeth roving over one another’s bodies in a frenzy. Jack angled them toward the bedroom and backed Sam up rapidly until her knees hit the edge of he bed. She tumbled backward, scrambling up on to it. Kicking off his shoes, he followed, his mouth following his hands up the length of her body.

Sam arms reached out to clutch at his hair, his neck, eventually settling on his shoulders, kneading contentedly as he slowly kissed his way along the curved tops of her bra cups. Stretching his length alongside her, he slipped a hand under her rib cage and rolled on to his back, pulling her on top of him.

Faltering a moment at the sensation of her body pressed along his, he slid his hands around to her bra clasp. Miraculously freeing it on the first try, he peeled it from her breasts, tossing it carelessly aside as he sat up, pushing her back so that she rested back on her knees between his thighs, he caught one breast in his mouth, sucking hard.

Sam whimpered and clutched his head closer with one hand, her fingernails digging into his shoulder with the other. With one final, strong pull, Jack released her breast and began to work on the other. Fuzzy thoughts that she had had her mind set on a task were lost as she reveled in sensation. Her mind cleared a bit as Jack came up for air, pressing his lips between her breasts. Taking advantaged of his breathlessness, she pushed his shoulders back down to the bed.

“Stay,” Sam commanded as she began shimmying backward, her hands running down his chest to hover above his belt as if deciding where to alight next.

“Yes, ma’am,” Jack saluted, enjoying the view.

Sam couldn’t resist, “No cover, no salute,” she chided, starting to work on his belt buckle.

Jack laughed, “I’m rubbing off on you . . .” She glanced up at him, an evil glint in her eye. “Don’t say it!” He warned, half sitting up, then falling back with a yelp as she used the opportunity, to whisk his belt free from the loops with a snap. She popped open the button of his fly with a flourish and began toying with the tab of his zipper, the heel of her palm “casually” brushing over his the bulge beneath.

“Say please,” Sam mimicked, letting go of the zipper and outlining his erection with one fingertip.

“Dream on,” Jack croaked, suddenly lunging to a sitting position and grabbing her under the arms. Hauling her back toward the headboard, he clambered on top of her, pinning her hips with a knee on either side and her arms above her head.

“You. Stay.” He said firmly, punctuating the order with a firm kiss in the center of each breast.”

Sam nodded demurely as he slid off her to stand next to the bed. Turning his back to her, he slid his pants down and stepped out of them. He sat on the bed and peeled off his socks, feeling foolish and wondering what to do about his boxers. There was definitely something to be said for being chemically altered at the start of a new relationship.

“Off,” Sam commanded from behind him.

Jack shoved them down his hips without thinking, then stopped. Stepping out of them, he turned toward her, muttering irritably “Carter do you have some pent-up command iss . . .”

She was lying on her back, one leg straight up in the air as she peeled the last inch of stocking from it. Tossing it away, she rolled on to her side, completely naked now, her hand propped under one ear, “Pent-up? she asked innocently.

“I liked those,” Jack sulked gesturing toward the discarded stockings as he placed one knee on the bed.

“You’re welcome to them,” Sam smiled, taking his hand and helping climb over to her, “But I warn you, they itch,” she added as she slid the arch of her foot around his calf, pulling his body flush with hers.

“Nah,” he said thoughtfully bending his head to her neck, “I’ve got my heart set on those rainbow panties.”

Sam threw her head back and laughed, a rich, full-throated sound that animated her from her belly to the top of her head. It was a sound Jack couldn’t remember hearing in years. He felt a pang of guilt, knowing that the feelings between them had robbed them both of a lot of laughter and he kissed her lips softly by way of apology, stroking her back gently and wishing he could soothe away the accumulated hurt of years in one night.

Sam writhed against him, willing him not to stop what he was doing one moment and hungry for new sensations the next. She lifted her top leg over his, pulling him closer and gasping as his erection bumped pleasantly against her mons.

Jack’s hand slid over her top hip and down the back of her thigh, tracing a spiral path with his fingertips that inched ever inward. Sam hiked her thigh higher, allowing him better access and her own hand more room to roam between them. Her fingernails unconsciously mimicked his slow, elliptical path as they traveled over his chest and down his stomach.

Sam groaned as his fingers finally brushed over her labia, then boldly dipped between them. His index finger lightly traced the contours of her folds inching forward to lightly massage her clitoris through its hood. With a whimper, she thrust forward, trying to trap his hand between their bodies. Jack gave a low chuckle and shook his head slightly in response to her pleading look, drawing his fingers back to trace a path around her entrance.

In retaliation, she quickened the pace of her descent, sliding her palm firmly down over his stomach, then barely coasting over the length of his cock before encircling it with her fingers at the base. Jack’s breath caught in his throat as she then ran her open hand along the length, once again pausing to grasp the head in her fingers before sliding back down again and again, the pressure of her hand increasing almost imperceptibly with each pass.

Nearly hypnotized by her torturously slow movements, Jack suddenly heard an unfamiliar sound he suddenly realized was coming from somewhere deep in his own throat. Rousing himself, he pushed her hips slightly away from him, repositioning his hand between her legs from the front. Sliding his fingers down through her pubic hair and back, he brought the heel of his hand firmly up against her pubic arch as his fingers delved between her lips.

Sam bucked against his hand, her breath gathering into a low moan as Jack thrust two fingers inside her, then quickly withdrew them. Angling his palm away from her, he dragged his thumb from the apex of her curls down to her clit. Her hips rolled in time with his hand, as he massaged with slow, circular motions, occasionally breaking this rhythm to rapidly thrust two fingers deep within her.

Jack watched her face intently, entranced by the soft, relaxed shape of her mouth. He increased the tempo of his fingers, enjoying the way her tongue flicked out to lick her lips, parched by her ragged breathing.

Her eyes flew open as his fingers thrust deep and he, once again, pressed his hand against her pubic bone, “Jack!” she cried sharply as she began to shake. Her eyes fluttered closed again as she whispered his name over and over, her own hand moving to cover his as she rocked ever more slowly against it.

Jack had almost thought she’d fallen asleep when she made her move. In a flash, she had flipped him on his back, and climbed astride the tops of his thighs, her palms flat on his chest. She loomed over him with a predatory look.

“Whoa!” Jack breathed, eyes wide and hands raised as high as she’d allow in a gesture of surrender.

Sam’s face suddenly became thoughtful. She sat back slightly, chewing on her lip as she scanned the room. Jack studied her quizzically for a moment, then realization dawned.

“Nightstand,” He said with a look toward the drawer he’d opened earlier.

“Awfully sure of yourself, aren’t you?” Sam asked, raising an eyebrow.

Jack shrugged as best he could, “Be prepared,” he replied innocently, raising two fingers in a Boy Scout salute.

Carefully balancing her weight over him, she walked her hands over to the side of the bed. As she stretched one arm out toward the drawer, Jack suddenly put the limited range of motion available in his neck and shoulders to good use, craning forward to capture one nipple between his lips. Sam yelped in surprise, then sighed weakly as he suckled and nipped his way around her aerole.

“This drawer . . .” she panted, “Becomes a more and more complex . . . mmm . . . piece of maaaah . . . machinery . .. the longer you do that.”

“Oh,” Jack responded languidly rolling his tongue in ever narrowing circles over her taught skin, “But that’s your specialty.”

Sam laughed and batted his head away, pulling the drawer open and making a grab for the contents. Her hand closed around three of the boxes, she drew them close to her face, struggling to make out the labeling in the dim light.

“Ribbed for her pleasure,” She read slowly, shaking her head. She leaned down to kiss him. “A massive fraud perpetrated on the American people,” she said matter-of-factly tossing the box over her shoulder. The second box seemed to meet with her approval, as she ripped it open and pulled out a condom, tossing the rest of the box to join its rejected brethren.

Sliding further down Jack’s thighs, Sam tore open the foil package and placed the rolled condom over the head of his penis. With her free hand, she cupped his balls lightly, angling her palm up toward the shaft as she began rolling the condom downward.

Somewhere in the back of Jack’s mind floated memories of some incredibly awkward fumblings with condoms as a teenager. He moaned softly, his hips rising up to meet her touch as the thought occurred to him that either he’d been doing it wrong back then or Carter’s evil powers made even the awkward details of sex incredibly hot.

Lowering her lips to his stomach, Sam crawled slowly up the length of his body, making him twitch with her light kisses here and unexpected bites there, until she was crouched over him, the head of his cock just pressing into her. She closed her eyes as she began to move her hips slowly, first lowering herself down on to him just a bit of a time, then pulling rapidly up and shifting to grind her clit along the length of his shaft.

Jack arched against her at first, straining to go deeper, but she drew back with a playful smile, shaking her finger at him. With a sigh, he lay still, as she found her pace. Her hands slid from his shoulders to the surface of the bed as she covered his mouth with hers, moaning softly as her movements began to quicken.

Matching her rhythm, Jack’s hands traveled down her sides to her hips, gradually urging her to settle her self further and further down the length of his cock. Without warning Sam drove her hips downward, taking him completely inside her.

“God, Sam!” Jack cried out, digging his fingers into her hips.

They both stilled for a moment, their foreheads pressed together, breathless pants mingling.

“Jack,” his name came out in a long moan as Sam’s head lolled to one side. She twined her feet around his calves, locking their bodies together, and began rolling her hips against his.

Jack’s hands slid up her back as his hips rocked upwards to meet hers. He grazed up her spine with his palms, then raced back downward with his fingertips. Her movements shifted, suddenly becoming more disjointed as she ground more roughly against him. He curled his fingers around her hips, anchoring her to him as he thrust up to meet her.

With a savage cry, Sam disentangled her legs from his and sat up, planting her knees on either side of his hips. Grasping fistfuls of the blanket under his shoulders tightly, she rose upward, slamming her hips down a moment later to grind her clit against him.

Jack gasped as she rode him furiously, his hands sliding up from her hips to the sides of her breasts. Sliding his hands together, he pressed her breasts toward the center of her chest, craning his head upward to flick his tongue over first one nipple, then the other.

The motion of Sam’s hips became frantic. She was barely able to raise up an inch before she drove irresistibly downward again, needing to feel his full length pressed into her. A sudden, wild heat flooded through her as Jack’s cock seemed to expand inside her, his hips jerking wildly upwards as his hands abandoned her breasts to find press her to him. She locked her arms around his neck, gasping against his shoulder as a shuddering wave overtook her.

The rocked together a few moments more, eventually stilling. Jack’s arms wound around her waist as he feverishly kissed her neck and whispered her name. She held him, repeating incredulously, “I’m here. I’m here.”

They drifted off briefly, clutching one another. Jack shifted, rousing them both. Placing her hand between them, she carefully slipped off him, collapsing on her side next to him, his arm under her neck, holding her to him.

After a moment she sleepily mumbled, “Jack?”

“Mmmm?” He murmured.

“Trash can?” She asked.

He roused himself grumpily, “Way . . . WAY over there,” he said flinging his arm out dramatically.

Sam thought for a moment, “Kleenex?” She suggested.

“Brilliant,” He smiled, kissing her cheek. After dealing with condom disposal, Jack clumsily pulled the covers back and they helped---or hindered---one another in climbing under the them.

Jack slipped one arm under the pillow under Sam’s head, resting his other lightly about her waist. Aware that he was already well on his way to sleep, he pressed his head against her shoulder blade and whispered, “Sam, do we need to . . . talk?”

Sam failed entirely to suppress a yawn, “Talk? Yes. Talk. Lots to talk about.” She was silent for a long time, as she began to drift off, then she started a little, “Can it be . . . tomorrow?” She asked winsomely.

Jack sounded relieved, as his head snuggled further into the pillow. “Mmm . . . tomorrow. You betcha. Best time for it.”

Craning her head around behind her with supreme effort, Sam softly kissed him, “’Night Jack.”

“’Night, Sam,,” he murmured happily.


Continue on to Chapter II, pt. i