The suggestions for inclusions I have received so far therefore need to be summarised, and the suggestions I keep getting verbally and by e-mail from my cohorts need adding also (for some reason everyone seems incapable of using the guestbook feature!)::
-Imagine a story about a cow, called Bob, and his adventures fighting evil :)
-I think the story should also have a beautiful blonde princess in it, who keeps kissing frogs, but nothing happens - they just stay frogs and don't turn into Danish princes or anything. And the cow should be a wicked step-cow also. And there should be a Christian cousin in red checked shorts, who gets gored by said cow, and who by the way is coming down AGAIN next school holidays
-dull as a box of hammers
face like a racing mullet
face like a dropped pie
smells like all the armpits in india in summer(sorry to all the indians out there :P)
face like they have been beated with a sack hot pennies
-I think that Bob needs something like the "sword of destiny" (tho I am not sure how he would use it) and needs to go and defeat the evil overlord and oppressor Mandapants the Red :)
-"the human equivalent of penicillin" -- work this phrase into your story.
-are those my legs?
-Chapter 3 in which Princess Miranda discovers exceedingly thrifty and old-fashioned recipe for winter soup in dodgy 1970s Women's Weekly Cookbook
-Now if you are going to include reference to grouse Women's Weekly recipe in your story, you must include link to fab feminist site Thesaurus of Women's Weekly: http://wwwfp.cc.flinders.edu.au/WWIndex/thesaurus.html
-Actually http://wwwfp.cc.flinders.edu.au/WWIndex/FMPro?-db=wwindex.fp3&-lay=Web%20Layout&-format=search.htm&-view is better
-fried pickle on a stick
-"new friend" as a reference to a lesbian partner
-army of Ninja Meekats at the command of a wicked Librarian - �Scurry my pretties� cried the Librarian as the troop of black clad Ninja Meerkats swarmed out of the castle�s gate.
-a character called "Captain Pants"
-the phrases:
? �I�m going to rip off your beard, nail it to a Frisbee, and then throw it over a rainbow�
? �Of course it�s hot in space; where do you think pineapples come from???�
? �Up with this I will not put�
-She was throbbing like an EMF coil
-She was buzzing like a synchroton beam...
-The phone number you have dialled is imaginary. Please rotate your telephone by 90 degrees and try again.
-Alan wants a chapter all about him called "Sad old git" (apparently to be written by the end of this week)
-musical chapter featuring the Trout (aka First Librarian) in which she and the cast sing such classics as Bohemian Trout; Stairway to Troutiness; Born free; something from Dark Side of the Moon; and the Tears for Fears song Trout.
-First Librarian overcomes the evil machinations of the Third Librarian by mesmerising him with a mirror.
-a Terminally depressed Frenchman enters the story.
-Sean turns out to have trained the meerkats
-gratuitous nudity in final chapter.