"We should go get Zed," said the Princess
"Who's Zed?" asked Bob the Cow. The Princess explained that Zed was her horse, and they went to get him from his paddock. They had no sooner collected Zed than they came across two people sitting by the side of the road. One was a woman with quite black hair, and matching eyebrows, the other a skanky looking janitor-type with a bucket, who had buck teeth.
"Greetings, strangers" said Bob the Cow.
"Oh my God, a talking cow," exclaimed the Janitor-type, "My name's Rob. People sometimes call me Rob the Scary Janitor. And this is my consort MB. She used to be married but she ran off with me after stalking me for ages while I was working as a janitor. Did I take too much acid last night? I thought two tabs might be a bit excessive..."
"I'm Bob the Cow, and this is my friend the Princess Miranda", replied Bob. "And you're not hallucinating. I am a great and noble bovine who has rescued the Princess from the tower where her Wicked Step-Mother locked her up." Needless to say, this did nothing to convince Rob the Scary Janitor that he wasn't actually hallucinating, but he decided to go with it. "I may have a face like a racing mullet," he thought to himself, "but at least I'm not a talking cow."
"We're setting off on a Great Adventure" said Princess Miranda. "Would you and your companion care to join us?"
"Where are you going?" asked MB
"Oh, to seek the Destiny that Bob the Cow was given when the Dwarves forged for him the Sword of Destiny, to find a really great recipe for soup, and to destroy the Wicked Step-Mother and all her Evil Minions of Darkness and Librarianship." replied the Princess.
"What a coincidence!" exclaimed MB, "I have here a copy of a dodgy 1970s Womens' Weekly cookbook, which has in it a most excellent recipe for soup!"
"Fantastic!" replied the Princess. "Let's light a camp fire and cook some! Oh wait, I forgot that it's a total fireban day..."
What will happen next? You'll have to wait for Chapter four: in which Bob the Cow encounters the three Evil Librarians and their Army of Ninja Meerkats, the Princess Miranda and MB make soup, and Scary Rob has corrective dental work...
