"Oh, I am so sorry," said the Beautiful Glowing Unicorn, "It is, as always, all my fault"
"Surely not," replied Scary Rob, "You are so beautiful. Not like me, I have a face like a racing mullet. But you, you are so beautiful that you make me buzz like a synchotron beam. Do you have a name, by which we might address you, O Radiant Beast?"
"My name is Mystra," avouched the Beautiful Unicorn, "and I'm very much afraid that I am at fault here. You see, I have this blue fairy dust in my mane that absolutely everyone is allergic to - it even makes me sneee!"
"Then..." said the Princess Miranda, in speculative tones.
"Yes, that's right," sighed Mystra, "That's how I defeated the Meerkat Ninja Army. You see, blue fairy dust has a powerful narcotic effect on Meerkats - it's a well-known phenonmenon. But I am afraid they only fell into a deep sleep, they are not dead. We must hurry from this a-cursed place."
Our noble companions did not need to be told twice. Pausing only to gather the books on soup, microwave cookery and corrective dentistry that they had found in the library, they hastily made for the exit.
The First Librarian gibbered with rage behind them, she was so agitated that her monocle nearly fell out as she did a little dance. "�Scurry my pretties� she cried to the troop of black clad Ninja Meerkats, but they did not rouse from their deep sleep and our heroes were able to make a quick getaway. The Librarian, as all her kind, cowered from the sunlight, whimpering "It burns, it burns..." and was thus unable to follow them as they beat a path away from the abandoned library and towards adventure and Destiny.
Presently, Bob the Cow said "I don't know about you chaps, but I'm still quite peckish. Has someone still got the recipe for soup?"
"I have the recipe book," acknowledged MB, opening it and flicking through the pages. "Oh look, a recipe for fried pickle on a stick - my favourite."
"I like chittlins personally," interjected Scary Rob, "You get them in a bag at the supermarket with your pigs feet." Bob the Cow looked a little pale at this remark, pleading "Let's not talk about eating chaps' feet, if it's all the same, it make a chap feel a tad queasy."
"Sorry Bob" chorused the rest of the companions, feeling slightly ashamed.
There was an awkward pause.
"So," asked Princess Miranda to break the silence, tossing her beautiful blonde hair, "Where are we off to next, in search of Adventure and Destiny?"
"Well," said Rob, a little shyly, "If we could possibly go there via a dentist, I would be ever so grateful. For some reason, I have been cursed with a face like a dropped pie, and I do so long to be beautiful."
"You are beautiful to me," replied MB, at which the rest of the party started gagging.
"Listen well!" commanded Mystra, the Shiny Unicorn, "We must go via a pharmacy, as I am deeply depressed and have run out of Prozac. I must refill my prescription, or I shall be of little use to you on your noble quest. Peradventure I shall be of some small use to you, if I can keep myself well-medicated. Also the rest of you can pick up some Zovirax, for the sneezing."
"Let us do so, Noble Unicorn," replied the Princess Miranda, "Onwards, my brave companions! We shall seek out Adventure, and Bob the Cow's Noble Destiny, pausing only to visit the pharmacy and a cosmetic dentist, that the needs of our companions may be well tended."
"And I could use some green tea," added MB, merely because it was a while since she'd said anything. "Opra says it can make you lose 10 pounds"
**********************************
Meanwhile, back at the library, the Librarians Three were throwing accusations and casting nasturtiums as to whose fault it was that Bob the Cow and the other companions had escaped the fearful and almost invincible Army of Genetically-enhanced Ninja Meerkats, and the Meerkats were waking up, as though from a bad, bad bender, rubbing their little beady eyes, and wishing for a hair of the dog.
"This is all your fault", the Third Librarian accused the First Librarian, "No longer are you fit to lead us, see how your plans crumble into nothingness. I am much clevererer and more wickeder than you, I must be the head Librarian. You shall be banished to the Information Desk!!! Muhahahahahahahahahah..."
"Nay, Never!" shouted the be-monocled First Librarian, "Never will I man the Information Desk! Death before customer enquiries, Death I tells you! Never!!!!"
"But I have a plan," cried Third Librarian, "A plan by which Bob the Cow and his companions will be foiled from finding and fulfilling their fruitful destiny! And by which Bob the Cow will be turned into Rib Eye Fillet, Steak Tartare, and Grade One Mince, upon which we shall feast, preceeded by a light vegetable broth, and followed by a peach crumble. With some babies' bones thrown in for extra crunch... but I shall not reveal this incredibly evil and cunning plan unless you make ME, Glorious ME your Wicked Leader, and hand over control of the Fierce and Mighty (if slightly hungover) Meerkat Ninja Army."
"Well I don't really care who the leader is," said the Second Librarian, "I'm too pretty to care."
What will happen next? Will anyone eat a pickle on a stick? Is it really warm in space and is that really where pineapples come from? How long can you spend in a dentist's waiting room? Tune in later to find out...
