"But not only am I pretty," replied Second Librarian, "I also have great legs and an impeccable lift-exit strategy."
Before the Third Librarian could ask the Second Librarian what on earth he was rabbiting on about, the fiesty and cunning be-monocled First Librarian whipped out a handy mirror, which she placed in front of the face of the unsuspecting rebellious Third Librarian. The Third Librarian, who was a vain and metrosexual man who used many hair products, was naturally instantly mesmerised by his own reflection (in the manner of Narcissus). While he was rendered unable to move (with the exception of a slow movement of his head from side to side in order to observe himself from every attractive angle), the First Librarian quietly whispered to one of the Meerkats, who sprung to attention at the sound of her voice, and proceeded to sink its fangs into the fleshy part of Third Librarian's calf.
"Ow you bastard vermin son-of-a-bitch!" yelled Third Librarian, dropping the mirror in shock. First Librarian only smirked.
"I'll get you for that," he muttered as he walked off, bending every few steps to rub his leg. Plotting and planning dire acts of revenge, he disappeared behind the door marked "Staff only".
As soon as he was out of sight, First Librarian sent the Meerkats after our heros, �Scurry my pretties� cried the Librarian as the troop of black clad Ninja Meerkats swarmed out of the library doors.
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Meanwhile, the Noble Companions were walking wearily and hungrily down the road, in search of a pharmacy, a dentist, somewhere to cook soup, and the noble and as-yet unrevealed Destiny of Bob the Cow. Night was coming, the dusky duskiness of dusk was spreading across the horizon, and still no-one had made any soup. Mystra, being terminally depressed, was thinking he could not go on. The beautiful Princess Miranda was thinking the noble and Princess-like thought that if she had any soup she would give it all to her noble companions. Bob the Cow was contemplating his Destiny and what it possibly could be. Zed was using almost all of his brain to work out where to put his feet, and MB and Scary Rob were thinking sexy wrong thoughts about each other. But at the same time, all of the Noble Heroes of our story were very, very hungry, and thinking they were getting desperate for something to eat, when in the distance Bob the Cow (who had very good long distance vision, probably developed in the era when cows were pursued by fierce peradactyls hell-bent on eating them for dinner) spied a glowing green light.
"Look yonder!" he cried, "A light, it glows!"
"Oh," squealed the Princess Miranda, "It is green! It glows! Is it an alien space craft?"
"I think not, my Noble Companions," replied Mystra, wiping a tear from his beautiful white face, "Methinks tis a food stall. Perchance we can get something to eat, and the owner may be able to point us in the direction of a pharmacy. Although we are all doomed. Life is black, I can not go on..."
"Nonsense!" exclaimed MB, "Pull your socks up and get on with it, you ridiculous creature. Whoever heard of a depressed Unicorn? I think you need to take a long hard look at yourself."
"Sorry," replied Mystra, 'I'm bringing everyone down."
Bob the Cow decided this conversation was going no-where fast, and changed the subject. "So, what sort of food do you think they sell?" By this stage, they were drawing close to the green glow.
"It's a giant pickle on a stick!" cried Scary Rob, "and look, next to the food stall, a dentist! Hurrah, at last I can get my teeth fixed!"
So the Noble Companions ventured forth to the pickle stall, where all ate pickles on a stick, with a side-serve of pineapple, and Rob went to wait at the dentist, with only MB for company, while the others went on a little further to find a pharmacy, promising to return in due course. Rob and MB settled down to wait in the dentist's waiting room, with naught but a pile of ten year old National Geographics, Who Weeklys, and a battered copy of Spot goes to the Dentist to amuse themselves with. After several hours of flicking through National Geographics trying to find pictures of naked tribespeople, listening to the receptionist answer the telephone, and hearing increasingly nasty noises coming from the Dentist's surgery, Rob was looking a little pale.
"I know just how to perk you up," said MB, raising one pointy eyebrow suggestively, but just then, in walked a bald but attractive stranger, dressed in a red pyjarma-like outfit.
"Captain Picard!" said Rob, "Is it true it's warm in space?"
"Of course it�s hot in space; where do you think pineapples come from???� answered the Captain.
"Oh, of course Captain, silly me," replied Rob, blushing. Just then, the receptionist informed them that the dentist was ready for Scary Rob.
"Wish me luck, my darling," entreated Rob
"May the force be with you," replied Captain Picard, "O wait, that's the wrong series..."
"Anyway, I was talking to MB, my love, my life, my cheese sandwich," objected Rob.
What will happen next? Will the dentist be able to fix Rob's smile? Will Rob go on to a career as an international model? Will the rest of the companions return successful from the pharmacy? Will Captain Picard turn out to have been nothing more than a plot device, and vanish into thin air? Almost certainly! But for answers to the rest of your questions, you will have to continue to chapter eight.
