Out there chap1

Out there

Scott Douglas Davidson

Disclaimer: If I owned these characters, I'd be spending my spare cash on making planes fly over the USA with banners reading "Scott owns DBZ! Scott rules!" Do you see banners like that around?

Warnings: Shounen-ai, swearing, mild incest (that means no sex), lack of lemon (hey, for some of you that counts as a bad thing), really confusing.

This WILL confuse you, give up trying to understand it now.

Feedback: Any form of constructive criticism is very welcome. TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG WITH IT! *Pulls hair* I can tell you think something's wrong with it! Tell me what's wrong!

--- --- ---

Goku
Go-ku
Quite; very
Words; phrases

Chi-chi
Chee-chee
Milk; breast; loop
=== === ===

Goku sat up in bed, stretching slowly with a loud yawn, listening to his stiff back making a series of small cracking sounds as the joints protested against the movement.

"Hey, pop! Cheech wants ya in the kitchen!" his son called from downstairs. Goku frowned.

"Gohan! How many times must I inform you that your mother does not take well to being referred to as �Cheech�?!" Goku bellowed back downstairs at his son.

By now you�ve probably noticed that something seems wrong with this picture.

Goku stood up and looked through the closet for today�s outfit. He finally decided on the soft brown suit and dressed, then headed downstairs for breakfast.

"Oh! Honey! I make pancakes today, is that alright?" Chi-chi smiled warmly at her husband, who grinned back.

"You know I�ll always love whatever you decide to cook for us dear." Goku hugged his wife and gave her a quick kiss before sitting at the table and starting in on his huge stack of pancakes.

"Hey pop!" Gohan plopped down across from his father and tore into his own breakfast with his usual teenage relish, earning a glare from Goku and an exasperated look from Chi-chi.

"Go-chan, I don�t know how you�ll ever make something of yourself if you keep acting like this." His mother�s tone was stern. He looked up at her as if she was a particularly fascinating species of insect buzzing a few feet from his nose.

"Eh, not like it matters, Cheech. Too easy to get by without doin� nothing these days. I don�t see why I should bother. Right pops?" Gohan turned to his father, a sly grin growing. Goku simply scowled.

"I would prefer it if you would treat your mother with some respect. And you should be improving your grades young man, you�re slipping behind in school." Goku took another bite of his pancakes.

"Honey, we only want you to get an education so you can get a good job..." Chi-chi�s tone was pleading.

"Whatever peeps, I�m outta here." Gohan stood up from the table, leaving his dishes behind. He went out to the hall, grabbing his backpack and slinging it over his shoulder, then going back into the kitchen.

"Hey pops." Gohan leaned down, his face an inch from Goku�s, his voice low and silky. Goku only scowled harder and Gohan chuckled.

"Eh, guess I can�t get ya today. Maybe you�re not awake enough to be annoyed." Gohan shrugged and patted his father on the back "No goodbye kiss for me I guess. See ya around pops, Cheech."

And Gohan left.

"I�m getting tired of that boy�s attitude." Goku growled, then sighed "He�s just trying to learn to be independent... But does he have to be so damn aggravating while going about it?!" Goku shook his head and bit viciously into his breakfast.

"I just wish he wouldn�t keep bothering you about... That. Your..." Chi-chi found herself unable to finish the sentence.

"My bisexuality. Yes, he does get rather annoying in regards to that. Maybe you were right about getting a family therapist. It might make a few things easier around here." Goku sighed and pushed his plate aside, finding himself no longer hungry "I have to go to work now."

"Hai, your briefcase is by the door." Chi-chi gave her husband a tight hug after he stood up "Don�t worry about the dishes, I�ll get them."

"Thanks dear." Goku gave Chi-chi a quick goodbye kiss, got his briefcase, and headed out. It was going to be a loooong day...

As expected, when he approached Orange Star high he saw Hercule out front, dropping off his daughter, both surrounded by a gaggle of reporters.

"Hello Mr. Satan!" Goku waved cheerfully over at his friend "How goes the post world-saving business?" a wink for that, a reminder of the deal they�d made; Goku beats the baddies, Hercule gets the fame. Goku had no use for invasive media hounds in his personal life, especially with his background.

"Ah, it�s been great! Of course, there was no doubt I�d beat that great green monster and save us all!" Hercule posed for the flashing cameras.

"Of course not." Goku smiled indulgently, then headed inside the building.

"Oh, Mr. Son! You�re back from your vacation!" Goku�s teaching assistant practically materialized at his side, following him much closer than she needed to as they headed down the hall to his class "I�ve been teaching your class while you were gone, but now that you�re back I�m going to be your teaching aid! Your child is quite a handful when you�re not around to keep watch on him."

"Well, he is rather a rebellious boy. Me and my wife, Chi-chi, were thinking about getting a family therapist, we think he might benefit from it." Goku put a slight emphasis on �my wife� trying to remind the poor girl practically drooling on his side that he was unavailable.

"Yeah, that might help him. He�s very willful though, it would probably take a while and several therapists, he�d scare the first few off." the young lady grinned. Goku allowed himself a quiet chuckle at that.

"Indeed." Goku opened the door to his classroom, and encountered warm lips covering his own, and strong arms wrapped around his neck. He reached around and grabbed the back of the neck of the person kissing him and lifted them away from him, holding them off the floor.

"Son, you had better have a very good explanation for this." Goku growled, as his teaching assistant looked ready to faint.

"Betcha liked it pops. A cute guy kissing you. And I�m sooooo hot..." Gohan wiggled that cute little ass of his for emphasis. Goku merely grunted noncommittally and dropped his hormone-overdosed teenage son to the floor.

"Detention. Now." Goku calmly finished the distance to his desk, sat down, and began preparing for class as if nothing had happened. The teacher�s aid squeaked as Gohan passed her on his way out, winking suggestively, and she scuttled into the classroom to take her own seat.

"Yo, teach!" A tough-looking kid in the back, surrounded by what appeared to be his gang, raised his hand amongst snickers from his friends "If we all kiss you too, do we get detention as well?"

"No." Goku glared "You get extra homework instead. You do not avoid my class by getting yourself into trouble. Now, unless you want to spend the day in detention alone with my son then we will start class now."

As much as she was weirded out, the teacher�s aid had to admire how fast he could get the class to order.

Goku sat in the cafeteria, calmly eating his lunch. He�d have been in the teachers lounge, but all the attention from his teacher�s aid, Rose she�d said her name was, well... She was starting to creep him out. She seemed to have a major crush on him, and he couldn�t figure out a polite way to turn her down. He sighed. It looked like another person he�d be having to avoid when he could.

"Yo pops!" Gohan plopped down next to his father, ketchup from his plate flying onto Goku�s arm. Gohan grinned and started scarfing his hamburger.

"You�re out of detention early." Goku commented, eyeing his son warily.

"Well, they let us out to eat. Don�t bother us if we�re back by the end of lunch. So, if I knew I could get outta class that easy I�d have kissed ya long ago pops."

"If you do it again you won�t get out of class, you�ll have to stay in it all day, including lunch, and I will come up with extra homework for you." Goku ate the last of his lunch to a quiet chuckle and a low "Oh, you�ll �come' up all right".

"There you are! I�ve been looking all over for you!" Rose stood there, hands on hips, looking kind of like a schoolgirl in her soft gray skirt and blouse and the childish pout on her face.

"Well, I happen to have been spending my lunch time remaining in this spot, listening to the hentai chatter of my perverted son." Goku shrugged nonchalantly.

"Y-you!?" Rose stared at the boy, who was smirking at her suggestively. She moved so that Goku acted as a shield between herself and the freaky teen "They let you out of detention!?"

"Duh woman, you�d think someone would know they let us all out for lunch. Are you people daft or something? I mean, my father�s a bit of a baka, but at least one teacher should have some brains." Gohan licked the ketchup off his fingers. Slowly. Seductively. He leaned forward over his father to look closely into Rose�s soft brown eyes.

...

"Nah, a teacher with brains is an oxymoron." He concluded, smirking and pulling back, leaving a hyperventilating Rose standing there "Well, lunch will be over soon and I simply must get back to what you people seem to think is a punishment. Ta." Gohan turned away, swaying his hips suggestively, and walked off into the crowd. Goku sighed.

"I really don�t know what I am going to do with that boy..." He muttered under his breath. Rose simply collapsed to the floor in a dead faint.

"Well, I can gather from your reaction earlier that my son had not been exhibiting such blatantly sexual behavior while you were teaching my class." Goku commented.

"N-no, he hadn�t." Rose looked nervously around, as if expecting the object of their discussion to come leaping out at her from around a corner "He acted just like any other teenage boy, talked with his friends, ignored class, made fun of the people who actually did work... Normal teen stuff, if a little to the excess."

"I�m definitely going to have to get the boy a psychiatrist." Goku sighed "I wonder if there�s a hotline for parents of sexually abusive teens..."

"What?" Rose blinked at him.

"Well, there�s one for teens of sexually abusive parents, why not the other way around? I can see the calls now; �Hello? My son keeps kissing me and trying to touch me in inappropriate ways...� Hn. Oh well, I�ll just have to find a good way to discipline the boy." Goku sighed and reentered his classroom. Time to go back to work...

Goku smiled. Finally, it was the end of the school day. He gathered his things together into his briefcase and headed out.

"Hey! Pop!" Gohan waved at his father and made his way through the crowd. Goku sighed.

"No." Goku looked stern.

"Huh? I didn�t even ask you anything." Gohan looked quizzically at his father as they started walking home.

"No, you didn�t, but you were going to, weren�t you?" Goku raised an eyebrow. Gohan looked sheepish.

"Yeah..."

"Son, sometimes I just wish you were a child again. You used to be so pleasant and you didn�t hit on me all the time." Goku looked down at his son.

"Pops I... Sorry pops. Can I be a child again for a day?" Gohan looked hopefully up at his father, who smiled.

"Of course you can son."

"Thanks dad." Gohan hugged his father, who smiled, then lifted him up and sat him on his shoulders.

"C�mon son, you�re never too old to be a kid again." Goku laughed and continued walking home with his teenage son sitting on his shoulders, both smiling like they were in heaven.