Pokemon: Surviving the wilderness
Day 1:
3.00 pm: Today they arrived at there destination; the wilderness, and it stinks. They have already run out of food supplies ( I'll get those bloody racoons someday), there clothes are ripped and to top it off a wolf was heard howling. They thought the great outdoors would be fun, like in that film, Fern Gully, with faries prancing about all over the place in glee, but instead the day has turned into a real flop. A bit like flip flops. They never caught on. The only joy the day has brought to Johhny bravo is that there is no longer any haggis left. Tomorrow they'll be hunting for food.
Day 2: The hunt
8.55 am: It's mid-morning and Johnny is trying to sort out the gang.
Johhny Bravo: I awoke this morning with a spring in my step, as if in new hope that food could be on its way. Don't let me down. I have split you all into 3 groups. Kill.crazy and I, Forest and Psy-man, Crazy Bob and Angus.
Crazy Bob: No, I don't wanna go with Angus. He smells.
Johnny Bravo: And what is he supposed to smell of?
Crazy Bob: Haggis.
Johnny Bravo: (sniff sniff) what crap are you wearing?
Angus: I should smell of Haggis. It's a new fragrance from Calvin Klein. It's called smoked haggis. It cost me $50 ya knooow.
Johnny Bravo: Well go wash it off. You'll scare away the prey.
9.22 am: As the others split up and go there separate ways, Kill.Crazy thinks he may have spotted something..
Kill.Crazy: Look over there, near the tree.
Johnny Bravo: It's, it's a Sandshrew.
Kill.Crazy: it's soooooo cute. Let's shoot the bastard.
Johnny bravo: Pass me your bazooka quick! I need a lock on.
However just as he got his bazooka out, the sandshrew ran. Suddenly they had a chase on there hands. They ran after him ducking and weaving through the hanging branches in the woods but then they realised. He was hunting them. The clever Bastard had led em' into into a dead end. Backwards a 100ft drop into a shark infested river and forwards was, well, him.
So they jumped. It's nothing to be be ashamed of.
Meanwhile Crazy Bob and Angus have spotted a Safeway Hypermarket and decide to shop around.
Crazy Bob: I'll have this, this and this.
Angus: We doooon't have enough money for these items Bob.
Crazy Bob: So we borrow them for a little while.
Because Crazy Bob has no money, he decides to shop lift.
Angus: ackkk, You be stealing Bob.
Crazy Bob: Only little things. Barbecues, live sheep etc. They won't miss em' one little bit.
Unfortunately Bob doesn't realise the security cameras are watching his every move. In any moment Bob will be confronted by a security guard.
Security guard: Did you really think you could get away with it son?
Crazy Bob: (blushes) I don't know what your talking about.
Angus: I think he be talking about your thieving Bob...
Crazy Bob: Shut up!
Securtiy guard: Comin' in here like Skeletor and ending up looking like the Michelin man.
Crazy Bob doesn't take to this kindly and decides to keep the security guard hostage so he can escape from the supermarket.
Crazy Bob: Now nobody move. I'm leavin' this joint.
As Kill.Crazy and Johnny Bravo return to their camp they notice there is smoke. As they get further they notice it's a barbecue. Psy-man and Forest are having a barbecue party.
Johnny Bravo: What's going on here?
Forest: We're havin' a barby.
Johnny Bravo: So all this time we were huntin' there was a barbecue.
Psy-man: Yeah! We got the stuff from the safeway Hypermarket just beyond that clearing.
Forest: Apparantly there's some comotion over there. Apparantly some guy's holding a security guard hostage.
Psy-man: So we decided to make to make the best of a bad situation and stole some stuff.
Forest: Cool huh?
Kill.Crazy: Yeah..
Johnny Bravo: No it's not cool. You a disgrace to Pokekind.
Johnny then confiscated their copies of Playboy and sent them to bed without any supper. Meanwhile things are hotting up for Crazy Bob in the Hypermarket when the swat squad arrive.
Swat team commando: Put the guard down or we'll be forced to shoot.
Crazy Bob: But I'm in the marines.
Swat team commando: Where's ya proof.
Crazy Bob: Proof? I'm just a new recruit. I don't have proof yet.
Swat team Commando: Swat team, fire at Will!
Swat Team: Which one's Will?
Swat team commando: Fire at the purple blob then.
Crazy Bob: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Angus McHaggis, now confused and upset started making his way back to the camp where he could tell the others what had happened.
5.40 pm: Angus has made it back to the camp, but will anybody belive him?
Angus: Oooh God it's awful!
Johnny Bravo: What is?
Angus: I ran all the way as soon as it happened!
Kill.Crazy: Ran?
Angus: O.k, I waddled here as quick as I could. I was running low on dilithium crystals. She wouldn't go any faster.
Kill.Crazy: Quick?
Angus: O.k! I waddled slowly, man. I canny gets the power no more.
Johnny Bravo: What happened?
Angus: Crazy Bob.....He's been shot, but I think he's o.k!
Kill.Crazy: Why was he shot.
Angus: He was shot by a swat team for shop lifting in the Hypermarket.
Johnny Bravo: They can't shoot anybody for that!
Angus: ackkk, Jim-lad , he took hostages.
Kill.Crazy: Didin't they know he was a marine?
Angus: Noooo proof.
Johnny Bravo: You should have taken more care of him Angus. I'm ashamed of your carelessness.
Day 4
9.30 a.m: Kill.Crazy and Johnny Bravo were still annoyed with the recruits when they woke up so they sent them off to find some fire wood.
Johnny Bravo: Because of those stupid recruits I've still got diareah from the shenanigans of yesterday. I won't forget this, not for a very long time.
9.55 a.m: Because they have nothing to do, and the recruits are away for fire wood, Kill.Crazy and Johnny Bravo decide to pull out some deck chairs and work on their tan.
Johnny Bravo: Those recruits are useless. They're still not back yet.
Kill.Crazy: I know. They're probably off slacking somewhere.
Johnny Bravo: They don't know how to do real work anymore.
The recruits however, are having a tough time Looking for fire wood.
Forest: Where the hell do we get wood in the middle of a forest?
Angus: I know laddy. It ain't like we can just burn some cabers or something.
Psy-man: Some what?
Angus: Cabers. You know, in the caber toss. You toss big lumps of wood around a field for half an hour.
Forest: Yeah, whatever?
Angus: Ackkk, I've got it.
Forest: Don't give it to me!
Psy-man: The only thing that hurts me is Psytonite.
Angus: Noooo, it's not a cold. I had an idea.
Psy-man: What?
Angus: Well, cabers be made out of trees....
Forest: Yeah........
Angus: Well why doon't we chop us some trees for fire wood?!
2.10 pm: Johnny bravo has been disturbed by a rustling in the bushes. It spooked him a bit so, armed with a pistol and grenade he's gone to investigate. Then he suddnely noticed the demented Sandshrew again.
Johnny Bravo: HAHAAA! I'm gonna get you this time bitch!
Unfortunately for Johnny the Sandshrew came prepared for such events. Bazooka.
Johnny Bravo: Uh-oh....This is not good.
Kill Crazy: Must be that time of the month.
However, just as the Sandshrew was about to fire. BAM!
A tree fell on him. Suddenly Angus McHaggis appeared.
Angus: Whoops...I forgot to shout timber. TIMBER!!!!!!!!!!
Johnny Bravo: Angus, my dear Angus...
Angus: Did I do wrong?
Johnny Bravo: No, you did good.
3.30 a.m: The recruits and Johnny now return to camp where Kill.Crazy has been sun-bathing for 5 and a half hours and now is sun-burnt.
Kill.Crazy: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! It burns! It burns!
Johnny Bravo: C'mon Kill.Crazy, we're leavin'. Iv'e had enough.
Kill.Crazy: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Johnny Bravo: Angus, go get a bucket of water.
While Angus goes to get a bucket of cold water, Johnny packs up his posessions.
Angus: Here's the water Johnny.
Johnny Bravo: Good.
Johnny then threw the ice-cold water on Kill.Crazy.
Kill.Crazy: Oooh, sooooooo nice.... nice, yeah baby, nice.
Johnny Bravo: Can you hear me Kill.Crazy? Can you hear me?
Kill.Crazy: Yes I can hear you, I'm not deaf!
Johnny Bravo: O.k then. We're going now. We have to walk to the nearest bus stop O.k?
Kill.Crazy: Why walk, why?
Johnny Bravo: 'cos we walked here, so we gotta walk back O.k!
Kill.Crazy: Doh! But I don't wanna walk.....Walkin' hurts. Please Johnny, carry me...Like you used to in the old days.
Johnny: Shut up!
The marines then gathered their belongings and then hiked up the hill near by until . . .
Marines: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! Sandshrew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The End