Pokemon: behind enemy Lines
(The Diary of marine Sergant, Johnny Bravo)
16/3/99: Yesterday we parachuted behind the Charmander's border line to rescue Colnel Pikachu...We all landed safely but Private Spielberg landed on the the mobile phone....Now we can't call '0900 Horny'. Damn.
18/3/99:Today we narrowly escaped death. The enemy were on patrol and had almost caught us but we managed to take refuge in some bushes.Unfortunately Kill.Crazy dropped his cigar in the bushes and set it on fire...Luckily the enemy thought nothing of it and blamed it on squirrels.
19/3/99:Last night we had a game of Hard-poke. To prove his hardness Hard Nut cut a his face. Last time we had a game of hard-Poke he poked out his eye. I took pictures of the new scar he has.
Looks nasty doesn't it! - He'll regret it tomorrow...
20/3/99:Private stephen spielberg couldn't find out what position we were in and Ray M Junior couldn't get the radio working....It looks like we're gonna be stuck here for a while and we don't even know where we are!
21/3/99: Private. Spielberg used the last of the toilet tissue this morning....We told him we had to rashion it but he wouldn't listen...Now he's on spud duty for 2 weeks....However there is one problem...We don't have any potatoes and we're surviving on the last few worther's originals we have....I'm gonna save one for my grandson because he's someone very special too!
22/3/99: This morning a patrol scout saw us when we were drunk. Kill.Crazy, in a drunken state, threw a grenade at the scout......The scouts intestines landed on Private Spielberg and Private Spielberg started to cry!!!
After that narrow escape we packed up our possesions and necessities and moved somewhere different...This should be a safer spot but soon the rest of the patrol will come looking for the dead body....We kept him just in case we ran low on food.....Hey, it might not be appetising but it's food!
23/3/99: Unfortunately Hard Nut's scar isn't getting better...
Ouch....It's infected! Private Spielberg might have to operate soon! However, this will take preparation and Private Spielberg will have to sharpen his operating spoons.
24/3/99: Unfortunately now Hard Nut can't travel because of his infection which means now we either leave him behind to finish our mission or we stay with him and nurse him like a little baby. Spielberg was reluctant to share his Huggies.
25/3/99:Through scouting Kill Crazy was able to find the centre point of our mission about 700 yrds away from our new campsite...However this makes us vulnerable to attacks and ambushes from the enemies......Thanks to Private.Spielberg our butts are all swollen and soar.....You can't leave Spielberg in a room, alone, with some toilet paper....I mean, what does he do, eat it?!
26/3/99: Late last night Hard Nut passed away.....However the good news is we won't have to look after him anymore. I was fed up of feeding him lolli-pops and calling him my precious little boobems.
27/3/99: We were ambushed REALLY late last night...We used up all of our grenades and explosives but we managed to save our beer...We lost Ray.M.junior in the conflict......Now we're down to 3....I hope there aren't any snipers around here!
28/3/99: Fortunately the final 3 of us managed to escape another attack like that again by pretending to be trees....I still don't believe they fell for it...
Now although there is plenty of beer we are forced to eat the dead body we collected.However Private.Spielberg barfed over Kill.Crazy....That was a BAD mistake!!!!
29/3/99: Tomorrow we will try and make it across the mine field....If we don't make it, whoever find this diary,tell my family I love them.....Except my wife's mum....I hate that B***H!
30/3/99: Kill.crazy and I made it over the mine field but Spielberg was blown sky high!We are only a few days away and a lot of killing away from completing the mission of Saving colnel Pikachu....
1/4/72/99: We've just found out that Team Rocket are behind it all...Everything..The kidnapping of Colnel Pikachu..Absoloutely everything.....They must have a huge army of Charmanders!
3/4/99:We found Colnel Pikachu and released him.There weren't many guards about....I think Kill.crazy let off but he wouldn't admit it...They locked Colnel Pikachu up in the toilets...I don't know how he survived but he did.....Then he kicked Team Rocket's butt....The question is, how do we get home?!
The End