But I'm getting to the point. And the point is Working At McDonald's Is A Miserable Experience... for most, just ask Stacy. Anyways, no matter how horrible a job is, it's still a job, and people should do their best at it... but, a friend of mine who currently works at McDonald's gave me this interesting piece of paper a few months ago. I remember getting these. They are the cheesiest things ever, given out to all lower-level staff to get them all pumped up and excited about working at McDonald's. Yeah, I think they'd have a better chance at getting a rapist on deathrow pumped up for his last day on earth. Anyways, I'm going to copy this retched piece of work word-for-word, and add a few comments of my own (their stuff in bold), of course I skip all of the boring crap. And after it's all over, ask yourself, "Would I really give a flying crap about 'making them smile?'"
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Can YOU Smell what McD's is Cookin'???
Yeah, smells like grease. Thank God they put three question marks, or I might have missed that it was a question and all. Seriously though, it's the same when people use a ridiculous amount of exclamation marks. Why even bother? Look at me!!!! I'm excited!!!! It makes you look like a moron.
We're layin' the smack down on the competition once again with another outstanding product for an outrageous value!!
Look at me!!! I'm a complete idiot!!!
And since when was it a good thing to mimick wrestling catch phrases. I'm a wrestling nut, but I won't be caught dead telling someone to "suck it."
Beginning September 22nd, the McChicken sandwhich joins the menu lineup. What's the McChicken?
I'm going to take a chance here and say something smothered in nasty grease.
It's a blended patty of light and dark meat with crispy breading served on a regular bun with mayo, shredded lettuce, and nasty grease.
Okay, so maybe I tampered with that one a little bit.
The price for this scrumptious treat is an amazing $.99!!!
This is too easy.
Okay, let's just do a little lesson in sounding like a sane person
Exapmple #1: Hello.
Diagnosis- sane
Example #2: Hello!!!
Diagnosis- Really freaking nuts
This part is ONLY for the Cool Grill People (just joking)
OH HO HO!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!! Pardon me for sounding crazy, but that was so friggin HILARIOUS that I just can't hold the hysterical laughter back anymore!!! AH HA HA HA!!!!
But seriously, it's a good thing they said they were just joking, they might have offended the Lame Grill People.
Okay, there's a bunch of stuff that goes on and on about temperatures and junk, so I'm going to skip that.
Be sure all product is completely submerged in the grease for proper cooking.
See!? See?! Nasty nasty grease! Or as the person writing this crap would say: Nasty nasty grease!!!!
This product has already proven to be a fast mover so be ready!! Many customers have already been asking for it, and we're going to give it to 'em!!
Yeah! Go give it to them! Yeah!
Honestly, can't you just see them in the back of the restaurant doing some lame McChicken pep rally screaming "What do they want?!" "McChicken!" "And what are we going to do?!" "Give it to 'em!" "YEAH!!!!!"
We love to see them smile!!
I don't think anything I say can do this any justice at all.
May God have mercy on their souls.
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If that's not enough to make someone want to kill people, I don't know what is. So next time you go to McDonald's and get crappy service, just be happy you're alive.
